Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Backyard Oasis courtesy of the Sky Mall, Part One

I consider the neighborhood where I live to be ideal. Let me rephrase that. I used to consider the neighborhood where I live to be ideal. It's close to everything, but once you drive back here, it's like you're living in the country. The lots are an acre or more, there are no sidewalks or streetlights and the neighbors are neighborly. Best of all, the back of our lot backed up to some woods and a field of cattle. I remember sitting on the back porch at night and hearing coyotes and all manner of wildlife. That may not sound appealing to some, but I liked it.

Since we built here several years ago, the woods have been replaced by a subdivision, but until recently we still had our cattle neighbors. Now it seems a developer has made the owner of the adjacent property a offer too good to refuse. Soon the field behind me will be replaced with 170 homes. I'm not thrilled about it, but since I want to be neighborly, I got the idea of fixing up our rather boring backyard into a bit of an oasis for the new neighbors for enjoy. I know...I'm a giver. Here's what our back yard currently looks like:

Not exactly visually appealing. Oh, sure the blue pressure tank and the 55 gallon drum we use to burn trash are lovely, just not "fancy". I want to give our new neighbors some fancy. And I need your help.

My good friends at the Sky Mall have a plethora of fantastical yard art just waiting to put me in unrecoverable debt. The problem is, there's so much to choose from! This is where you come in. Please give my your opinion which theme you think best suits my back yard:

Option 1: African Safari

That's a pretty sizable backyard, and the summers here are what I like to call "Africa hot". This option makes sense in so many ways.

Zairen the Zebra Sculpture $235.00

This exceptional work of art lends a touch of exotic flair to even the most domestic setting!...Imagine your guests' expressions at spying this meticulously hand-painted, bold black-and-white Toscano exclusive in a flowerbed or along a garden path!

"Kalahari" Meerkat Statues $19.95 to $34.95 (not sure whether the butt or the head is more expensive)

We've little doubt why meerkats recently became beloved screen stars--they're adorable! Our spirited sculptures busily climb "in through the out door" in this imaginative Design Toscano exclusive, two-part sculpt cast in quality designer resin and hand-painted in realistic tones for your home and garden.

"Lioness of Namibia" Statue by artist Samuel Lightfoot $125.00

Transform your home or garden into an exotic paradise with our regal lioness...Lightfoot's big cat sculpture will securely stretch languidly atop your mantel, garden wall or outdoor tree branch (I'm a big fan of languid security.)

"Mombasa, the Garden Giraffe" $995.00

At almost 8 feet tall, it's the largest garden sculpture we've ever offered!
If you really want your garden to be noticed, Mombasa, our almost 8-foot-tall designer resin giraffe, is sized to impress! Since there's no hiding this realistically hand-painted, exclusive sculpture, even amidst your tall trees and hedges, your neighbors are sure to be surprised when Mombasa moves in next door. For ornamental use only.
(As opposed to what?

There you have it. Option One for a grand total of $1,409.90 (plus shipping and handling). Tomorrow I will have a guest post, then on Thursday I will present at least 2 more options for you to choose from. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, why don't you check out some of these wonderful items yourselves at skymall.com. And tell them katdish sent you.

Then again, maybe just leave my name out of it...

What's that you say? You've never read a katdish Sky Mall Post before? Well, you don't even know me! Here they are, in all their glory:

Blog Fodder First in a Series!

Katdish Holiday Gift Guide Part 2

Katdish Holiday Gift Guide Part 3

Katdish Holiday Gift Guide Part 4

Tuesdays with Sky Mall

One More Thing

The New Sky Mall's Here! The New Sky Mall's Here!

From Hair to Eternity: The Summer Sky Mall Post


Helen said...

What, no garden gnomes?

This one has such possibilities.

Though I myself am more of a traditionalist.

Anonymous said...

Dude. I gotta get me one of those meerkat things. ;)

Shark Bait said...

Oh. My. Word!

If you want to spend that much on going with the African theme, I think I can help you with something much more authentic. :-)

How would you like an authentic, live, African? For $1400-00 (plus shipping and handling) I will come and camp in your back yard and shout at all your neighbours in authentic African languages.

For an extra $600 I won't take off my shirt or wear a loin-cloth.

Glynn said...

Definitely the meerkats. No question about it. Like my yard doesn't have enough pests and "visitors" that I need to get an imitation one!

Valerie said...

You've totally got to get the giraffe!! You would be the first person I know with a giraffe in their back yard!!

Sandra Heska King said...

I don't even need to see the other options. I'm all about the African theme. The meerkats, however, are too sweet. Keep the others. Get a charging elephant and a king of the beasts to patrol the line. And a few nasty snakes dangling strategically. Put in some sound effects. Roars are good. Do it now. The new neighbors won't stay, and cattle land is yours again.

And buy Shark Bait.

katdish said...

GAAA! Somehow, I rejected Candy's comment. Here it is:

Candy has left a new comment on your post "Backyard Oasis courtesy of the Sky Mall, Part One":

Just how tall is that giraffe? Fake or not, I don't think I could stand underneath him. Assuming it's a him. And don't your neighbors have shotguns? You could end up with a yard full of shattered African dreams.

(And the giraffe is 8 feet of awesomeness.)

lifeshighway said...

My vote is on the giraffe. Give the large expanse of flat back yard, I think the tall and bold statement of the giraffe would be a good balance. The meerkats would be lost, and you don't have a great tree for the lion.

Sarah Salter said...

ROFL! I thought the post was funny, but Shark Bait totally one-upped you with his comment! Would you like to start taking up a collection to help you "purchase" him?

Marni said...

Candy, you are killing me!!! I spit my drink out with the "shattered African dreams"...

I would avoid the lioness in the tree. That just screams "come in this yard you new subdivision neighbor and you will. be. mauled". The meerkats seem whimsical and welcoming. I vote for them.

Helen said...

Purchase Shark Bait. But don't kick in the extra $600, Let him wear the loin cloth.

♥ Kathy said...

Your yard is enormous! I like option #1 and can't wait to see the rest :)

Jim H said...

I have a bad feeling about this, the least of which is that the shipping and handling is probably going to push you over 2 grand - can't wait to see what Option 2 is!

Janet Oberholtzer said...

Great plan, but you need a monkey to complete ... so I found one for you, and it's even one that's playing peek-a-boo :)


You're welcome

Maureen said...

I think you need at least one baboon. Even the MoMA has one; it's by Picasso.


katdish said...

Janet and Maureen:


Of course I need monkeys and baboons! What was I thinking?

Cassandra Frear said...

Now this is funny and creative, too.

Kathy, you're one in a million!

jennybek said...

I like the giraffe. All I could think was, "Looks like that kid's getting peed on."
Great, now you'll think I'm the grossest person on the planet.
Cold sores and now pee.

Billy Coffey said...

I'm totally getting the giraffe. I'm not kidding. Okay, I'm totally kidding.

Anonymous said...

The giraffe is pretty cool and I bet the view from up there is amazing.

I have to ask... did anyone else notice the odd things sticking out under the zebra? Or was it just my demented mind?

jasonS said...

I say forget the sculptures and just start a real wildlife preserve. You and your husband could be the next Siegfried and Roy! You know everyone would love to see you in a sparkly jumpsuit with matching sequined headband- brilliant!

Michelle DeRusha said...

The giraffe. Definitely the 8-foot-tall giraffe. Jeez you crack me up.

By the way, I sort of love the broad open space of your backyard as is. It just makes me want to run wild and do cartwheels.

Stephanie Wetzel said...

I'm so glad that others mention the severe lack of monkeys in this post. What is an Africa yard without a monkey?

And what is a KATDISH Africa yard without a monkey BUTT?

I searched for a primate posterior, but all I found was this friendly monkey.


Like the lioness, his presence says,

"Welcome, new subdivision neighbor. Come near me and I. WILL. BITE. YOUR. FACE. OFF."

Shark Bait said...

Time to start looking for my George of the Jungle butt-flap.

Duane Scott said...

"I want a giraffe. NOW!" he falls to the ground, kicking and screaming.


Beth said...

Oh...where do I start?

1. The town next to us has a lonely giant giraffe statue left over from a putt-putt of yore. I've always wanted to take it home. But that would be stealing. Thanks Sky Mall! Now I can sink a grand into a giraffe and not become a criminal.

2. Guess who's MIL loves African animal decor??????

3. I found out a teacher at the school I work at uses anti-monkey butt powder to keep jock itch away. Why teachers discuss this at lunch I do not know.

Okay, that's it. It has been too long since I left a long and rambling comment.

katdish said...

Oh Beth!

It's been WAY too long since you left a rambling comment on my blog. I think I'll string a few together and call it a guest post.

I miss you!

Heather Sunseri said...

I won't even tell you what I thought the meerkat was burying his head into. And, I. LOVE. THE. GIRAFFE!!!