Tuesdays with Sky Mall

Due to overwhelming reader response (and by "overwhelming reader response" I mean Mare said she was sad I wasn't going to blog about it anymore), I have reconsidered my decision about my Sky Mall gift guide, Katdish's Holiday Gift Guide Parts One, Two, Three and Four. Since there are so few shopping days until to Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, and of course the beloved Festivus, this won't be so much a holiday gift guide as it will be my expert recommendations about all things Sky Mall. So, without further adieu, here are my next recommendations:

For the Delusions of Grandeur Sports Fanatic:

While your favorite ex-high school football, basketball, baseball or hockey star may seem perfectly content to relive his glory days eating pork rinds, drinking a cold beverage and watching ESPN while curled up in a slanket on his favorite recliner, wouldn't he be the envy of all his buddies if you were to give him one of these fine items?:

The "Actual Un-retouched Photo of Me before the unfortunate groin injury" Photo Collage:

Surround yourself in action with four top players from your favorite NFL team. Your last name appears on the back of your favorite NFL team jersey and your full name appears as the #1 draft pick. This 11"H x 14"W print is handsomely framed and ready to hang. All NFL teams available (players and numbers may vary). Up to 12 characters for jersey name and 18 characters for first and last name. ($89.99)

The Official Collectibles Company of the New York Yankees Base:
These official bases were used during actual games played at the most famous venue in all of sports. Get your hands on some of the rarest of all collectibles! Comes with a Steiner Sports Certificate of Authenticity. ($999.99) A bargain at half the price!

Lebron James Framed Dynasty Collage
Catch the moment with four great 8x10 photographs of NBA phenom Lebron James. Each 8x10 photograph is double-matted and includes a full color nameplate commemorating the 2004 NBA Rookie of the Year. Approximate size: 18.25"x42". ($150.00) Note: Lebron James and his legal team not included.

NHL Customized 13"H x 16"W x 1"D Framed Print - Premium. Comes displayed with premium wood frame which is step molded wood with a mahogany finish. ($89.99) Coupon for free dental work for the first 100 orders!

For the Hypochondriac Germophobe:

Most of us wash our hands when we're supposed to and attempt to live a reasonably healthy lifestyle. But why not pay homage to those among us who have raised personal cleanliness to a true art form?

The "Keep Your Distance" Bug Zapper:

Do you have ANY IDEA how many diseases the common house fly can carry? With this handy little device, you'll never even have to come in contact with them: This cordless insect vacuum quickly captures bugs from up to 2' away. Flies, bees, spiders, and other insects are suctioned by a 22,400-rpm motor, sending the insect through a one-way valve in the extension tube to an electric grid in the handle that instantly kills the pest. ($49.95)

The Germ Eliminating Knife Block:

This knife block uses safe UV-C light--the same technology used in hospitals to kill surface bacteria on instruments--to eliminate 99.99% of food bacteria and viruses from cutlery in 20 seconds. The ultraviolet bulb sanitizes knives up to 8 3/4" long from tip to bolster, killing pathogens like salmonella, listeria, and staphylococcus to help prevent cross contamination and food borne illness. ($89.95) Wow! The "same technology used in hospitals to kill surface bacteria." That's reassuring -- I've never heard of anyone getting an infection at a hospital.

The Hand held steam cleaner:

This Antimicrobial Hand-held Steam Cleaner sanitizes surfaces and floors for up to seven days by integrating antibacterial solution into the powerful steam to keep surfaces clean for up to a week. This European-designed, all-in-one steam cleaner uses an ingenious new patented process with push-button ease. ($99.99) Not recommended for use on children and pets.

Oh, there's so much more in this delightful little catalog of ridiculous excess! I could go on, but I'm tired and I've missed the last two tivo'ed episodes of "The Office". So, until next time, remember that just because there's a downturn in economy and many worthy charities will no doubt see a big decrease in donations this year, that doesn't mean that God doesn't want you live a life of victory with lots, and lots of stuff!