Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Katdish's Holiday Gift Guide (Part 4)

I am so visibly shaken by this next product that I fear I may have nightmares for the rest of my life. Not since the basement scenes from "Silence of the Lambs" or Tim Curry's convincing portrayal of Pennywise the Clown in the movie adaptation of Steven King's "It" have I seen anything quite so disturbing. Trust me -- I've seen it in person at the local Tuesday Morning store: Be afraid...be very afraid!
The Animatronic Singing And Talking Elvis ($199.95)



This is the animatronic Elvis, a singing and talking robotic bust adorned with The King's trademark leather jacket, sideburns, and pompadour, recalling the musical icon's performance during the highest-rated television event of 1968 -- Elvis Presley's Comeback Special. The device sings eight of Elvis' most acclaimed songs including Hound Dog, Love Me Tender, and Jailhouse Rock, and the mouth, eyes, and head movements are synchronized with the music, replicating his unique facial expressions (including the curled upper lip) and baritone voice. Integrated infared sensors in his jacket detect ambient motion, prompting Elvis to say "Bring it on back now" or another famous Elvis remark as you walk by, and the device has 37 monologues recorded from interviews that play at a touch of a button, each reflecting on the life and career of the The King. A karaoke feature allows you to sing along with Elvsi and the device has an audio port for connecting an MP3 player or another audio source, allowing you to play your own music through Elvis's 10-watt speaker. Includes a remote control, 1/4" microphone jack, and an AC/DC adapter. Remote requires three AAA batteries. 20-1/4" H x 13-3/4" D x 21-3/4" L. (10 lbs.)

Product Review: "This is the perfect gift for a big Elvis Fan. To sing along, you need to buy a separate mic...but it's great. So life like it's scary.

Gender: Male
Age: 31-35


"So life like it's scary." I'll tell you what's scary, Mr. Male age 31-35. What's scary is that you actually paid $200 plus shipping and handling for this future entry into the Creepshow Hall of Fame. I don't even want to think about anyone actually plugging in a separate mic and singing along with dead Elvis. To truly appreciate how very frightning this thing is, you must see it in action. (Warning: Not recommended for young children or those of you with weak constitutions!)

Since I am, after all, one of those "glass half full" kind of gals, I feel obligated to say something positive about Creepy Elvis. So here goes: You could probably prop him up on some phone books in your car's passenger seat and be able to drive in the HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lane during peak traffic hours. I guess every cloud truly does have a silver lining!

I know I said in my previous post that I was going to feature this product by itself, but I feel obligated to share with those of you actually considering purchasing Creepy Elvis another product that would most likely appeal to you as well. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present:

"The Slanket"

Here's the best blanket - hands down - for snuggling up with a book or laptop computer. Put your arms in the 13" -wide sleeves and then turn pages, type, knit or do anything else with your hands without uncovering your body. The generously sized Slanket in midweight polyester fleece feels great and keeps you warm indoors or out. Machine wash and dry. 60" W x 95" L. Available in five colors. ($44.99) Please note: deep fried peanut butter, mayonnaise and bacon sandwich not included.

This concludes Katdish's Holdiay Gift Guide brought to you in cooperation (albeit unknown) with our friends at Sky Mall Catalog. If you haven't had your fill of ridiculousness, just visit their website and make up your own commentary. It will be delightful, I'm sure. As for me, I think I need to seek the advice of a good therapist.

11 comments:

Helen said...

I actually like the slanket. But then I am Catholic, so the whole monk robe thing appeals to me. The pastel colours add a bit of modernization. If I were to get it, I would have a psychedelic monk costume all ready for next Halloween. Now that would be frightening....
But not as frightening as that Elvis. Oh my! I will follow your example and say something positive about it.......................................if you put it near a big, clean window, birds would never fly at it and hurt themselves. Yes, that would be a good thing (though it might attract squirrels to the windonw because it's nuts....).

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

My kids would love the slanket. Given the choice between putting on clothes and wrapping up in a blanket, they always choose the blanket hands-down. :)

And Dude, your blog's layout has gone all freaky-deaky.

(I am TOO OLD to talk like that, but it's FUN.)

Mare said...

I'm so sad your gift guide is over. I have thoroughly enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...

That Elvis head is creepiness to the extreme...but his shiny plastic complexion rocks.

~Lois

katdish said...

Helen-

You know, if you were going for more of a traditional look, the slanket comes in brown. But I think the lime green costume would be especially Monktastic!

Steph-

My kids would like the slanket as well, but I fear my daughter would bejewel it and attempt to wear it to school.

Mare -

Okay. Maybe I'll one more.

Matt @ The Church of No People said...

I just saw the 'slanket' on TV last night! Great lists. Sky mall is awesome.
And great 'extra points' on your comment this morning. Am I to take it you are privy to the identities of Hucklebuck and Mistymorningmountain?

Beth said...

Relatives that I will not name have a full life-size animatronic singing and talking Santa Claus. Also with microphone so you may sing along. Creepy is not the word. Terrifying is the word. Especially if you are up in the middle of the night because the dog/baby/some relative's dog/kid/howling wind/guest bed has caused you to wake up and check the time on the only clock in the house you can see without your glasses, and you see his shadowy bowl full of jelly belly lurking behind the Christmas tree and think that it is a prowler about to dismember you....and then you hear HO HO HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS and are so scared you don't make a sound and then become instantly furious and mutter under your breath....I HATE you Santa. Do you hear that, you overpriced piece of plastic junk? HATE is the word I am using. HATE. You and me Claus. Out in the front yard. And you are going down to where the sun don't shine. That's right, HATE.

So thanks for bringing back the memories. I appreciate that.

katdish said...

Okay! That does it! Between Helen's freaky claymation youtube video, Creepy Elvis and now Beth's life sized Santa, I'm not going to sleep at all tonight! I'm making a pot of coffee! In the meantime, I'm gonna go hide under my slanket!

Annie K said...

I'm still trying to figure out how a dead guy makes so much money. I can't do it while I'm alive...

Shawn W said...

*shudder* Think I'll be joining Katdish in that coffee, and forget the slanket. It might slow me down if I have to run from a robot santa.

Pam said...

Well, it's dark out and frankly I can't watch scary stuff after dark... so I only made it 44 sec. into that video... And the worst part? I love Elvis... I remember when he died and me and my Dad stayed up all night and watched all his movies. *sigh* That head/thingy is not the way I wanna remember Elvis... it's just wrong.... maybe I can finish the video tomorrow during the day.... or not.... of course, if I had a slanket I could hide my eyes in it right? cause my hands would be free!