Pocket Jesus, the nasty pimp hat & revenge of the granny panties

I love me some twitpics! It's my way of sharing my day to day with people all over the world! (You're welcome.) The first entry (which is the last entry; try to follow along), I tweeted after I had started my update, but I wanted to share. (Again, you're welcome.)

Without further ado (or adieu?), the best of me (or not) on the twitter:

trying on low rise jeans + granny panties = devastating blow to my self esteem

@Helenatrandom Snort! (in reply to Helenatrandom @chrissulli Haven't you heard? Global Warming is the reason why we are getting colder!! The whole theory was developed by oxy morons...)

Some fascinating discussions about dog poo. Today, on a very special Hey look a chicken http://bit.ly/5S9tsw

@bryanallain You just had dinner? What are you, 80?

@JeanneDamoff TWSS (in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish Should be tons o' fun. A 1940's USO-type swing-dance show. Only problem is rehearsals start next week. I need to GET ON IT! )

@Helenatrandom @BridgetChumbley Do you ever have them face one another & then squish them together? In a purely platonic way, of course.

@BridgetChumbley I've eaten gummy bears past the point of a stomach ache. That's how much I heart them. (in reply to BridgetChumbley I 'heart' Gummi Bears... but I leave the green ones... yuck!)

RT @BridgetChumbley: RT @katdish: @BridgetChumbley I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! // Stop in the name of all which does not suck.

@Helenatrandom Um, ewh... (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish That's be cool. It would go great with my Life is Funny Mammogram post. (Better hope I don't get a pap smear anytime soon...)

@CandySteele Yes. We do. (in reply to CandySteele @billycoffey Just ignore @katdish 's illusion of intimidation. We know who's boss)

@Helenatrandom I could make you a ta-ta hat. (in reply to Helenatrandom @CandySteele Save the Ta Tas? I really need a new picture... Or maybe a ta ta hat....)

@HeatheroftheEO You're welcome. That's why we're here. (in reply to HeatheroftheEO @billycoffey @katdish I will be saying "what to the ever" for the rest of my life. Thank you.)

@billycoffey Don't make me come up there. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Oh, I'm sorry. Did I ask you? No, I didn't.)

@Helenatrandom Oh, don't listen to @billycoffey! The cap is lovely.

@pagan43 I'm not grumpy anymore. I kicked my cold's butt

RT @marni71: @katdish I threw down the clean room ultimatum on Pey Peyt yesterday. Powertrips+clean rooms=Nirvana.

@marni71 I heart ultimatums.

@marni71 Here I am. Mock away. My daughter has been invited to a skating party today. I told her she wasn't going unless her room was clean. (in reply to marni71 I'm waiting for @katdish and @redclaydiaries to be on her so I can mock the fact my kids are in school and theirs aren't. #anticipation.)

@Brian_Russell Oh, stop being such a cranky ho, Brian. (in reply to Brian_Russell Internet Explorer is the bane of the internet. If you're using it, you're part of the problem.)

RT @weightwhat: RT @MrBigFists Trust me pajamas, I'm just as upset about this as you are. But hey, we'll always have Wal Mart.

@stretchmarkmama Whew! I can breath again... (in reply to stretchmarkmama @katdish Of course I'm still following you. Like a shadow. A big creepy one.)

@stretchmarkmama Please tell me you're still following me. (in reply to stretchmarkmama Thanks to @TheTwitCleaner I just gave a few hundred tweeple the boot. #ahh)

Fresh mascara + sneeze = Dang it!

It's Jan 2, & across the land Protestants too lazy to take down their lites pretend to celebrate the epiphany.


@poemsandprayers It's quite an art form. (in reply to poemsandprayers @katdish i've never seen chicken pushers before...)

@Brian_Russell Yes, well I'm like me, so there you go. (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish He's like that...)

@Brian_Russell Then there's @human3rror, but he didn't courtesy refollow me, so he's dead to me

@TchrEric Is there some sort of training for this? Because these guys are AGGRESSIVELY giving away chicken. (in reply to TchrEric @katdish Don't recall ever seeing that happen in CA - but every mall food court here it happens....go figure....)

RT @bryanallain: Have barbecue chips ever over-delivered? They are the Fruit Stripes gum of the potato chip world.

@CandySteele he smells like eggrolls and teen spirit. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish Hey, that's the guy that sprayed perfume on me at the mall last week. Get closer. Does he smell like Eau de Squirrel?)

Would someone please explain the overly aggressive bourbon chicken samplers at the food court?


@MistiPearl Do you really expect to get a pocket Jesus for free? I'm at the mall. Nothing is free. (in reply to MistiPearl @katdish They don't charge money for that do they?)

@MistiPearl well it's a pocket Jesus of course! Actually, it's just the box. Because as you might expect, He wasn't in there (in reply to MistiPearl @katdish What?! is that?)

Ummm....no.


@weightwhat I gave up quitting. (in reply to weightwhat @sarahmsalter Nope, because I only resolve not to make resolutions. Doing good so far!)

RT @badbanana: That one set of carbon footprints in the sand is when Jesus carried me and my 60-inch plasma TV

@CandySteele It's not the cold, it's the humidity. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish oh shut up. I'd be out sun bathing in that.)

@CandySteele @makeadiff21 43 degrees here. Brrrr!

RT @CandySteele: @katdish this screams katdish


RT @pattidigh: every day is a new year //and some days feel like a year.

@RachelleGardner I learned I am infinitely less patient than I realized. #whatIlearned

@Brian_Russell In the grand scheme of things, does it matter that I'm slightly less obscure than you? Me thinks not

@SuperBowlSunday Thanks for following me. You know I'm in Houston, right? Is this a sympathy follow?

RT @MaggieDammit: My mother sent the children home with kazoos. My mother hates me.

@buzzbyannies Oh, sorry. (Not really) (in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish @CandySteele
Candy's quote about Boz in a Box. Quit trying to steal the glory Kat.)

@buzzbyannies Wait, which quote? The King quote or the crap quote. The crap quote was all me.

@buzzbyannies No. Sweet baby Boz. (in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish The one of sweet baby Jesus?)

"You must not come lightly to the blank page." ~ Stephen King

Writers resolution: write every day. Even if it's crap. Just write.

@jewda4 Oh, like I don't do that already... (in reply to jewda4 @katdish that would be a good version, but a bad outcome. maybe you should eat skittles and leg drop your dog while reading a safer version)

@jewda4 And the possibility of being struck by lightning.

@jewda4 I'm waiting for the #SCL version. (in reply to jewda4 I like switching the version I use to read through the Bible each year. Last year, I read the HCSB. This year, I'm going to read the ESV.)

@CandySteele I need more coffee. I read that last tweet as "grapefruit or the porn" And now, bring on the spambots! (in reply to CandySteele @billycoffey I overslept by 2 hr today. Not sure if it was the grapefruit or the pom that put me over the edge last night.)

@billycoffey Oh, right. Nevermind @bryanallain. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Forgive your southerness? Are you serious?)

RT @tim_____: It's 2010. And again I ask, where the heck is my flying car? The future disappoints yet again.

@bryanallain Now you're cooking with grease! (Forgive my southerness.) (in reply to bryanallain @katdish my 1st tweet reply of 2010 goes to katdish. now that's starting strong with nowhere to go but down.)

@bryanallain You're supposed to start on a high note and end a miserable failure. Get with the program, Bryan. (in reply to bryanallain This is my first Tweet of 2010, and boy is it a letdown. Nowhere to go but up. Happy New Year everyone.)

Tell me you wouldn't want to visit my church.


@weightwhat. Nope he's wearing pants.


@weightwhat not my kitchen, but let me check. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish That's quite a lampshade you're wearing there... Hey, is that a mini-PCB on your kitchen counter?)

@billycoffey what? You don't like my nasty pimp hat? (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Oh that's lovely...)

Happy new year!


I gotta get the one with toothpaste in the center.


Of all the great chocolates...


See you next year! (Don't you hate it when people say that?)

Again, Sorry/you're welcome!