Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Cletus the Wayward Flamingo (by Wendy G)

It's Wednesday, which means it's guest blogger day here at HLAC. Today's post comes from one of my chatty blogger gal pals, Wendy from Weight What. A shy, demure woman living in shiny vampire country. Okay, not really...compared to Wendy, I'm the shy, demure one. Now here's Wendy with the story of Cletus the Wayward Flamingo:

Cletus the Wayward Flamingo

Photobucket

A while back, Katdish had a contest on her blog with some fabulous prizes. She was giving away two pink flamingos. Yes, a treasure beyond belief. Helen and I were each lucky winners and we both received our lovely flamingos. But our story doesn't really start here. We have to go back...back...back... (insert cool echo effect here)

This is the story of Cletus the Wayward Flamingo. Cletus was born, like most lawn flamingos, in Florida. Unfortunately, he had to escape Florida when the bird flu began to hit. His momma didn't raise no dummies. So he high-tailed it over to his nearest shipping location (Bet you didn't know that lawn flamingos main mode of travel was UPS, did you?) and he was off on the next outgoing plane to parts unknown.

Unfortunately for Cletus, parts unknown meant Texas. It was a strange time for Cletus as he had to learn to understand a funny accent and how to keep out of the way of pointy boots. And what was a flamingo to do with tumbleweeds and the likes? But his time in Texas was short and he found himself back at the UPS station and on his way to his next location.

Cletus was hoping that his next stop would be more like his home state of Florida. Much to his dismay, when that box opened all he saw were trees. Big trees. And what was with all the rain? Yes, Cletus found himself in Washington. Land of the flannel shirt and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Was there no hope for our hero?

But as luck would have it, I was the one who opened his box. I told him of my big plans to start the first lawn flamingo captive breeding program outside of Florida. We've been cruising the trailer parks looking for a lady friends for him (boom chicka bow wow) and he's been a happy flamingo ever since. So the next time you're in Washington, c'mon over. You'll know the place when you see the flamingo with a big smile on his face. You might even be able to take home your own flamingo as a sign of your good taste and class. Won't the neighbors be jealous?


To hear more about the adventures of Wendy, visit her at Weight What. (Sorry/you're welcome.)
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And now for a little nasty pimp business....

If you're not a regular visitor here (I forgive you) or if you don't have a firm grasp of the obvious, one of the goals of this blog is to help promote and encourage other writers. That wasn't my original intent when I started blogging, but after some reflection and much prayer, I truly believe that this is the path God is leading me down. As if to confirm this conviction, about a week after I made that decision I came across a little blog called What I Learned Today. In just a few short months, a whole bunch of really cool things have happened with Billy's writing career, and it's been a pleasure to witness some minor and major victories along the way.

For those of you who think you are skilled and masochistic enough to pursue writing as a full time career, I'd like to invite you over to Sara Tribble's blog, I Am Write to read a really fantastic interview with Billy Coffey. It's good, y'all...

What are you still doing here? Go! Go read it!

23 comments:

Wendy said...

Happy Birthday Katdish! Although where I live in the past, you still have 2 more hours until it's your real birthday...

Wendy said...

Okay, did I really leave the first comment on my own guest post? I'm not needy. Please love me.

Lianne said...

Yay for a Wendy guest-post and Katdishmas! Woo hoo!

I hope that the flamingo is super-happy in his new location. I think he'd look nice in a flannel shirt.

sherri said...

Katdish-

I wish you a Merry Katdishmas and one Happy new year!

You're like a nice bottle of wine- once the cork is popped, you can't control the contents as it spews its deliciousness all over everything- and of course, the flavor continues to be enhanced with time!

Some people "don't need no stilettos to stand high above the rest!" (thant's hick So. Illinois slang for YOU ROCK!)

sherri said...

Wendy- good job! And yes, I love you.

sherri said...

thant's = that's

What would a special day be without a good typo/sherrification word?!

Shark Bait said...

Hoo Ha Ha Hey Ho

(That's fishy for "Happy Birthday Twitter Ho")

<-SB><

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Happy Katdishmas to my fav (or one of them) twitter ho! And Wendy, hooray for you! Nothing like a little bird of paradise to celebrate Katdish!

Billy Coffey said...

Happy birthday, katdish!

Oh, and great post Wendy. I love you.

Jewda said...

Happy birthday, Katdish!

John Cowart said...

Hi Katdish,

Sherri said I have to come over here and wish you Happy Birthday.

So there. I did it.

I love to spread light and joy throughout the world. (My wife says otherwise).

Now, being from Florida, I have to go nurse my sick flamingos.

Beth said...

Wendy- Hilarious as usual! But if you send me flamingos there will be a hit out on you.

Kathy- Happy B-day! I wrote a post for you. It's finally up!

Marni said...

I REALLY tried to stay up until midnight so I could text you happy birthday. But I am old and worn out, so I didn't make it.

But don't let that diminish the love I have for a sista.

Happiest of happy birthday to you mi amiga!!

Hi-lar-i-ous post Wendy!!!

♥ Kathy said...

Happy Birthday Kat...I got you a cake lol it's HERE if you want it :-D

jasonS said...

Way to go, baby! I was confused when Billy left the comment, "I love you" then it all dawned on me...

Also happy birthday Katdish! You may be from Texas, but you're still all right in my book. BTW, you know why Texas will never break off & drift away? Because Oklahoma sucks. That's you're special birthday joke. :) I appreciate you and your insightful, crazy ways. have a wonderful day!

Matt @ The Church of No People said...

I didn't know a plastic flamingo could be so well traveled!

lindsey said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!:-)

Kelli said...

Happy Birthday Katdish!!

Great post Wendy! Not shocked at all to hear that Cletus is yours :)

Stacey said...

Happy Birthday to Katdish!

Wendy - people talk funny in Texas?? [I would normally put an emoticon here, but I'll skip it since it's Katdish's bday.]

Sarah Salter said...

Happy Birthday, Katdish! I feel bad that I didn't get you anything...

Wendy, I laughed 'til I snorted! Great guest post!

Beth, your birthday post for Katdish is FABULOUS!

Annie said...

Happy birthday, Katdish!!! May your year be filled with wonder and joy.

Joanne Sher said...

Merry Katdishmas (LOL is that right?). LOVED the post, Wendy.

Helen said...

Does Cletus miss Clive? Because Clive misses his brother.

Jason, why does Billy love Wendy. Give us the scoop...