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How to Draw a Picture (Part 8)
(Excerpt from Duma Key by Stephen King)
Be brave. Don't be afraid to draw the secret things. No one said art was always a zephyr; sometimes it's a hurricane. Even then you must not hesitate or change course. Because if you tell yourself the great lie of bad art--that you are in charge--your chance at the truth will be lost. The truth isn't always pretty. Sometimes it's a big boy....
The bravery is in the doing, not in the showing. The truth can be hidden away again, if it's too terrible for the world to look at. And it happens. I'm sure it happens all the time.
When an idea comes to mind, an artist will often be consumed until he or she can breath life into it. But what about writer's block? Or the feeling of being overwhelmed by a white canvas staring back at you? Or the chord progression that just isn't quite cutting it? Why do you suppose that happens? How do you get past it?
I have a theory.
Would you consider the possibility that there are moments, emotions and feelings you dare not share? Things dark, sinister or shameful? So incapacitating that if you could hide them from God you would?
I'm fairly open here in my writing, but there are some things I simply cannot share; or maybe just refuse to share. I know, I know...confession is good for the soul, but some things are between God and me.
One thing in particular. A story that's been locked away for too many years. So, I'm going to heed the words of the great sage Stephen King: "The bravery is in the doing, not in the showing." I'm going to sit down and write a story that will never be told, because "the truth can be hidden away again, if it's too terrible for the world to look at."
So, how about you? Do you have a story that will never be told? That you've hidden well?
It seeps out, you know.
Through the cracks in your heart.
17 comments:
We all have closets within closets within closets locked with hidden keys we hope no one ever opens. They contain things we did we wish had been in closets we never opened. Unfortunately, although we desire to take their contents to the grave, beyond the grave and beyond our lives these secrets are known already, but fortunately for some of us, forgiven. And though we hide the keys from friends and families, we know we have our own map to the key in ugly desires we would like to forever forget. I have a few, not many, but they will remain unwritten.
Larry E.
Amazingly deep. And yeah, I do. And I may have to write and delete it some day.
That's really incredible, Katdish. Wow.
At some level, we're all secret-keepers. The secrets that we keep are fuel for us. To fuel our art. Our passion. Our rage. Our unforgiveness. And hopefully, eventually, our healing and the ministry of healing to others. At least, that's my goal.
Sarah - That's it exactly. Perfect.
I have to say that this is so far my favorite Duma post. You've managed to say exactly what I've been carrying around in me for a very long time.
There is no greater courage than to face a blank canvas or sheet of paper, and no act of bravery greater than filling them with your very soul.
There are things we choose not to share, but I believe things we CAN'T share.
I guess we can compare it to God keeping some things from us, but we trust Him and know that some of the mysteries must remain. So it is with us. There are things we must keep between God and ourselves. Why? I think each person has their own answer to that.
I have issues with starting something...any type of project, for fear of what may come. For fear that it will be horrible or look bad or sound stupid. I think that within me there are stories but I haven't let them come to fruition. I don't think I'm brave enough to try.
Very, very good.
Hmmm. There is always that fear for me of putting the nitty gritty down and having people 1. Not get it at all and then I feel freakish.
2. Think that I am way messed up and not really see you the same way anymore. Sometimes it's hard for people to see the healing over the dark stuff.
Or there's simply those stories that could harm others if you share them publicly...kind of like the discussion with the "confessions" on SCL yesterday. Seems like the line between bravery and TMI is a thin one to walk. I still err on the cowardly side probably...but God has a way of pulling bravery out of people that they didn't know they had!
egh. beautifully convicting.
Glad to see I'm not alone on this one. I know there are at least 8 other people in the world carrying around a story or stories they wish were not their own.
write and delete...might do the same.
great post- thanks.
I live in St. Louis, about a mile from where Michael Devlin, the child molester (now in prison), kept the boy he kidnapped. I rode my bike by that apartment almost every day. When the news broke and he was arrested, I was affected far more than I probably should have been, as horrible as the story was. I didn't know why -- and I still don't. But ultimately the only way I had to deal with it was to write what's the equivalent of a short novel. I doubt that I would ever seek to publish it. But the writing was a kind of catharsis.
Thanks for this post.
That's something I've definitely thought about. For instance, I am a journaler. I journal things that I would never share on my blog. But, I also realize that my journal will outlive me, unless I destroy it first (but I have no plans to do so). So, there are some things that I will never write down because I believe some things should remain between a sinner and her Savior and not left for posterity.
What I have done before is typed stuff out on Word, but then erased it immediately after without saving. It's cathartic, but not eternal.
Also, there are some stories that, dark and terrible as they may be, need to be told. But, maybe not yet.
"It seeps out, you know.. Through the cracks in your heart."
Love this line.
The visual of a bleeding heart caught me off guard. I guess that is what God sees beyond my flesh and bones.
Yes, I do have stories that will never be told. I am very good at hiding what hurts. Sometimes, I get flashes of desperation and courage. And you are so right. It leaks out.
btw, Happy Belated Bday, Katdish!
Great post, Kathy.
As you know, nearly every post I write on my own blog is something that hurts. Sometimes I worry that, by writing this theme and sticking to this one area of my life story, I'm painting a pretty wretched picture of myself!
But you're right, there are some things that I don't write. I receive a lot of comfort from my blog pals, but some hurts are only meant to be comforted by the One who knows me best.
I am not actually shy.
I am afraid people won't like me if they get to know me, so I am unlikely to share me, to be me. That way, when they don't like me, I can console myself with the fact that they never really knew me...
Yeah, blogging has changed that. I was "myself" at a party with some former colleagues last week. The ones I was close to already knew I was a little crazy, and thought the joy of the party made me a little crazier and that was okay, while the ones I was distant with shook their heads a little at how much quiet Helen has changed. Oh well.
wow. neato post. and happy birthday!!!
"It seeps out, you know. Through the cracks in your heart."
I've recently started this blogging thing and found you via Billy Coffey via Churchmouse. On the surface I thought you were all about jokes. Not so. This was deep. So deep it hurt. But that's good. Hurt isn't bad it just tells us we have something that needs attention. I've started following a few blogs and I feel like my mails getting read. Thank God for the comments, at least I don't feel like I'm the only one. Thanks, keep up the good work.
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