Re-lent-less

From the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:

Main Entry: re·lent·less

Function: adjective

Date: circa 1592

: showing or promising no abatement of severity, intensity, strength, or pace : unrelenting

— re·lent·less·ly adverb
— re·lent·less·ness noun

Funny thing about having kids. You think you will spend their formative years teaching them what they need to know to become responsible, God-honoring adults, and you do, but if you're paying attention, they teach you as much as you teach them -- especially about yourself. Before I had kids, I was one of those obnoxious people without kids who considered herself a bit of an expert on how not to raise a child. I would watch with disdain when a child had a meltdown at the grocery store. "That child needs discipline!", or "The reason that child pulls that crap is because he is allowed to get away with it."

Parenting is nothing if not humbling. If words had a caloric value, I would be a pretty sizable woman by now. I've eaten my share of them. What I failed to realize before I had children of my own is they are not little robots to be programmed by their well meaning parents. They have their own set of characteristics --either nature or nurture --that makes each child unique; each person unique. And while the physical characteristics my husband and I passed down to our children are glaringly obvious, it has taken a few years to fully grasp some of the less tangible characteristics. You know, the ones where you turn to your spouse and say, "He/she got that from you!"

But here's something I'm finally figuring out after all this time. I'm a fairly laid back person. (No, really -- I am). But when I set my mind to something, I am not easily dissuaded from seeing it through. Call it stubbornness if you will. That's how I read it when this trait reared its ugly head in BOTH my children. I'm telling you, THEY WILL WEAR YOU DOWN if they want something. Not necessarily by whining (Praise Jesus they are past that stage for now), but by pleading and negotiation in any and all forms. I have to smile because I was exactly like that as a child. My mom's favorite line was, "Just give it to her. She's never going to shut up until you do." Annoying? Yes. Did I get my share of poundings from my sisters and brother? Definitely. But you know what? They didn't beat one of my defining qualities out of me.

Relentlessness.

Hope springs eternal

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

I honestly believe that. I believe that whatever good traits and talents we have are His gifts to be used for His Glory. I also believe that if it is God's will for you to be a great writer, even if you don't know how to read, He will provide circumstances in your life to see His will accomplished. With God, all things are possible.

Having said that, I also believe that certain abilities and traits (good and bad) are passed down either by heredity or simply by growing up around said traits and abilities. I'd be willing to bet that anyone who has a child over the age of 3 has seen a personality trait in their child that they immediately recognize as one that is shared by either themselves or their spouse. Of course, the bad ones can usually be attributed to the spouse, but I digress.

Both my children are good examples of this hypothesis. But I will focus on my daughter Rachel for the purposes of this blog post. She loves all things creative (me), is a problem solver (Ron), a bit of a diva (Ron, okay me), loves to sing (me), paint (me), is good at building things (Ron), likes to read (me), is sensitive to the feelings of others (hopefully both of us), laughs easily (me), and is a total grouch in the morning (totally Ron). And while she is completely unique and has her own distinct personality, she is also a combination of the two of us. She looks more like me, but I've got dominant genes on my side (brown hair, eyes, etc.).

There is one thing about her that kinda baffles me. She is a total girly girl. It's not that I don't love that about her, I think it's incredibly adorable. I just don't know where that came from. She love pink, Barbies, her American Girl dolls, fashion (i.e. - all things fancy), and jewelry. I'm just not like that at all. And Ron, well, don't even go there. As evidence, I present Exhibits A, B and C: Rachel's room circa 2004, 2006 and 2008, respectively. Not to stray off topic, but I feel the need to say that while I have redecorated this space several times, everything you see was either given to me, bought from a garage sale, made by my own hands, or bought at a low, low sale price. (Elbow grease and paint can go a long way and retail is for suckers.)

Now, back to the my original train of thought. As a parent, I secretly delight when I see my children take interest in or excel at something that I'm into. Just as I cringe when I see a less desirable trait that I share, like forgetting where they put anything, rear its ugly head. But in all honesty, as long as she is true to who she is, I'm good with it. I have accepted the fact that my daughter is the living embodiment of "Fancy Nancy".

Tonight was open house at the kids' school. When I walked into my daughter's classroom, her teacher greeted my husband and me, then immediately asked if we had seen Rachel's turkey. Typically, kids this age and younger make a paper turkey, and on each feather write something they are thankful for. On this particular turkey, their instructions were to imagine the turkey could talk and write some of the things that he or she would say. (Her teacher is awesome.) Imagine my surprise when I read the following on Rachel's turkey:

-Please do not eat me because I am pregnant.

-Please do not eat me because I am krazy.

-Please do not eat me because I am too big for your oven.

-Please do not eat me because I will explode in your oven and cover it with blood.

-Please do not eat me because I have diarrhea.

Perhaps the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree after all. (*smile*)