Friday, April 16, 2010

Backyard Oasis courtesy of the Sky Mall, Part 3

If you've been following along at home, I've been trying to decide on a new yardscape as a housewarming gift for all my new neighbors courtesy of a development company ripping out the lovely pasture behind our house and replacing it with a subdivision of 170 houses. In case you missed the first two options, you may can find them here:

Option 1 - The African Safari Garden Oasis
Option 2 - The Garden Oasis of Tolerance and Diversity

I think it was Winston Churchill who said, "Go big or go home." Okay, maybe it wasn't Churchill, but I think he gives the quote a bit more weight, don't you?

To round out my Sky Mall backyard oasis series, I would like to present for your consideration the biggest and most well thought out (?) vignette yet. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...


For those of you unfamiliar with this modern day classic, I have provided this trailer:

For a realistic oasis, I had to go outside the confines of the Sky Mall catalog, but let's begin with what I found there, shall we? (Say yes.)

Zombie of Montclaire Moores Statue 3 at $89.95 each

Not for the faint of heart, this gray-toned Zombie of Montclaire Moors statue features the most zombie-like eyes you've ever seen. Captured in meticulous detail in quality designer resin, this zombie garden statue brings the flesh-hungry undead to your daffodil bed!

They're certainly the most zombie-like eyes I've ever seen! I think at least three, don't you think?

The Dweller Below - Large $89.95

Growing up afraid of things that "go bump in the night," British artist Manchester gives form to the legendary boogeyman said to roam below the streets of London!

Okay, not necessarily a zombie, but good enough for me! That's really all I could find from the Sky Mall, but a few zombie statues does not a vignette make.

Miscellaneous garden tools and shotguns (free - We've got plenty!)

(Woody Harrelson sold separately)

Hostess delivery truck, estimated blue book value $12,000*

*Okay, I just pulled that figure out of my head. I have no idea how much a Hostess truck costs. But isn't it fabulous? Since the truck was featured early on in the movie, I was thinking of using it as sort of a "gateway to Zombieland", perhaps with some pink carnations spilling out of the back to represent the much hated snowball treats scoffed at by Tallahassee.

Black Cadillac Escalade EBay $36,000

Tallahassee's first vehicle in the movie.

Yellow Hummer EBay $29,995

I think both vehicles are necessary to make the kind of statement we're going for, don't you agree?

And finally, what I hope will be the focal point of this beautiful Zombieland Garden Oasis,

Ferris Wheel EBay $59,000 obo

Who can forget that final scene? I think this Ferris wheel is the perfect representation of all the valuable lessons learned in this movie.

Grand total for the Zombieland Garden Paradise: $137,354.80

I realize this particular scenario is a bit of a budget buster, but the grand total is roughly 1/3 of what the lowest price home in this new subdivision will cost. I think my new neighbors are worth it. Don't you?

So there you have it. All three options. Me and my credit card anxiously await your final decision.


Anonymous said...

I've heard that movie was pretty hilarious but I think your yard idea can only improve it!

Glynn said...

You definitely have to do this. Your new neighbors will love it. Maybe you should take up a collection via Twitter -- and make sure there's enough to surprise each new neighbor with a Zombie of Montclaire statue in their garden. Wouldn't you love finding that one morning in yours?

This series is great, Kathy.

Cassandra Frear said...

I can't believe I'm spending my time reading this. It says something about me, but I'm not sure I want to know what it is!

I think you should consider a few more themes: Wizard of OZ, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings. These are big epic myths that loom large in the American mind. They've become part of our culture.

Imagine. You could have breakfast with Yoda or Frodo every morning. Pretty special, huh?

Nick the Geek said...

I think Zombie Land was my fav movie this past year. I also think you NEED to go with the Zombie Land Motif. It will only improve your home value.

jennybek said...

This is the best idea yet. Although I can't decide if it would be a good or bad thing to have zombie statues in your yard when the zombies really take over. Will they leave you alone, thinking a zombie has your house covered, or will they consider you zombie friendly? Kind of like hobos and the pineapple symbol.
Either way. It's a definite must-have.

jasonS said...

I believe that only you would see classic Greek sculpture and a Zombieland motif as both being viable options. This is why we love you, Katdish.

Gigi said...

gotta see this movie.....keep redboxing it and never watching it...this weekend, you made it sound good!

Gigi said...

gotta see this movie, keep redboxin it but never get it watched. You make it sound good!!

Gigi said...

gotta see this movie.....keep redboxing it and never watching it...this weekend, you made it sound good!

Billy Coffey said...

Zombies. It just had to be zombies.

♥ Kathy said...

I'm dying here...laughing. Not because I'm a zombie! I'm still voting for number one. But. I can totally see your yard being zombieland!!

Candy said...

And you mocked me for my elephant crap. I just hope you have St. Joseph buried in the yard somewhere, because if you Sky Mall your yard, you're gonna need him.

Stephanie Wetzel said...

Let's see... 3 Zombies of Montclaire for $89.95... divided by 170 houses... equals... Heck, I don't know. A whole freakin lot of zombies.

And J in PJs? "hobos and the pineapple symbol"?

I'm scared.

And ridding my kitchen of all things pineapple.

Wendy said...

Why do you have to make this so difficult a decision? Hey, you've got a big yard. How about just putting all of them back there? You'd be sure to please all of your new neighbors then.

Louise Gallagher said...

You are way too funny and creative.

Me, I'd go with all three on a rotation basis -- but don't be too predictable on your rotations and definitely, occassionally mix them up to keep them guessing!

And, when not in use, put the Zombies in the Ferris Wheel and let them spin!

Beth said...

Dude. I will never visit you if you put zombies in your yard. Never.

Did I ever tell you about the time I dreamed that Frank turned into a zombie? Man, that was scary. And I'm sure he appreciated me waking him up in the middle of the night to tell him about it and make sure that he wasn't undead.

No Zombie movies for me. Even if they are funny.

Duane Scott said...

The movie was hilarious. The final scene rocked my world. I vote this theme.

I mean, we all need a ferris wheel and a good natured zombie. :)