Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Katdish Dictionary - Part One

Two things precipitated the writing of this post (or rather, series of posts). The first was a text message from a friend of mine. She had sent me a message, to which my response to her was, “Gaaa!” Which I thought clearly communicated my reaction to her previous text. Knock me over with a feather when she texted me back, “Gaaa?” To my thinking, “Gaaa!” is rather self-explanatory. But perhaps not…

Next, I received an email from an author asking if I would read and review his upcoming book. (No, not that author – I’ve already read that one and it’s frigintastic.) Here’s a brief excerpt from the correspondence:

“And you’re clearly the first person I’ve come across who has a “I big red monkey butt heart twitter” tag. So you win—not sure what, but you win nonetheless!”

So that got me to thinking (always dangerous territory) about how often I use phrases and acronyms here and on twitter under the assumption that everyone knows what I’m talking about. But clearly, that is not always the case. Seriously, unless you’ve been reading my blog for the past 8 months or so, how could you possibly know what PCB stood for? Or know that “I big red monkey butt heart you” is a sign of endearment?

See there? Two hundred words into this post and I’ve already used four phrases and/or words that yet to make it into Webster’s. Which is why I feel a certain duty (ha! she said duty) to give definitions, and where applicable (read: if I can remember), the origins of said phrases, acronyms and words.

Ahem! And now Part One of an endless and ever growing series:

The Katdish Dictionary

Gaaa! – (pronounced gaaa!)

Definition - An expression of shock, disgust or horror.

Origin: unknown.

Example: Hey look! Meat Puppets!

Response: Gaaa!
(Seriously – is that not self-evident?)

Frigintastic – (pronounced fri-gin-ta-stic)

Definition: Really, very super fantastic and/or awesome.

Origin: Nick the Geek, in his post Too Much to Talk about.

Example: “MY wife says I say awesome too much and started taking points away for saying it. She is right but I still like the word. I’m gonna start saying “frigintastic” instead. She will long for the days when everything was awesome.”

“I big red monkey butt heart…”

Definition - a term of endearment or strong affection for someone or something.

Origin: This explanation is a bit more complex.

The story begins to unfold with a post on The Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants post, Cremation, anyone? This was a post noted not so much for its content, but for the epic comments that ensued – a grand total of 107. A fairly impressive number by most standards, until you realize that the comments were made by a handful of people leaving multiple comments back and forth.

Read it.

It’s life changing.

Anyhoo, Nick started out the post apologizing for the post being in bad taste (which is ironic, because that blog is all about bad taste), and quickly spiraled down from there.

At some point, I happened to mention I was going to the Houston Zoo the next day and did anyone have any practical jokes to play on zoo animals? A conversation about flinging monkey poo ensued. Alas, the following day I posted It’s on like Donkey Kong with the following picture:

Shortly thereafter, Sherri complained, "Speaking of images....katdish, this particular monkey image is freaking me out when I come here. DO you have a different one you can replace it with?"

So I changed the picture to this:

To which my friend Shark Bait commented, “I think I want the scary monkey back now.”
Around this same time, the phrase “I pink fuzzy heart you” was making its way around our blogging community. But I felt we at the FOTTSP needed our own spin on this phrase. That’s where “I big red monkey butt heart you” came from. Sorry/you’re welcome.

PCB – acronym for Pornographic Cheese Butler

Seemingly gracious wine and cheese steward from this angle, right? Not so fast!

Definition – A life sized statue of a butler once used in wine and cheese displays at the local Kroger grocery store. Unfortunately, the artist responsible for creating the PCB neglected to give him any pants. Hence the “pornographic” part. Thankfully, he was wearing a long apron covering his frontsettes. (We will cover frontsettes in a later edition.)

This concludes this edition of the Katdish dictionary. You have no idea how many of these things I can churn out. So in advance I just want to say again, sorry/you’re welcome.


Bina said...

I can honestly say that I am at a loss as I am laughing too hard to form rational thought.

You are frigintastic!!


Anonymous said...

Now I know why you tweeted you were cracking up... I'm about to wake up the kids with my laughter!

Can't wait for Part Two...

Shark Bait said...

That post was just badgertastic!!

Unknown said...

That was awesome! Love love love the meat puppets.

New to your blog--but I already consider it one of my favorites so I can get some laughs on any time of day!

Stephanie Wetzel said...

The possibilities truly are ENDLESS!

And I'm proud to say that I was there for the origin of each of those entries.

Oddly, I can't think of any that originated with me....

Oh yeah. Ginkgo Biloba. Technically said TO me. By YOU. But I think it deserves entry in a later edition.

Glynn said...

Frigintastic! I big red monkey butt heart this! But Gaaa! That PCB!

(The more you use the terms, the better shot you have at getting them in the Oxford English Dictionary.)(Great post!)

Jeffrey Holton said...

It's 3:30 in the morning and I'm still up.

The fact that I think I just saw a monkey heart butt and the derriere of a naughty wooden butler suggests that I either need to cease patrolling the internet and IMMEDIATELY go to bed, or I'm already there and having a remarkably random dream.

Lovely way to end my day. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Katdish, this was needed! I personally don't see how 'Gaaa!' is not self explanatory, and would question my friendship with someone who was not able to understand it, but those others, thank you.

Maureen said...

Poetry, anyone?

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. And I'm thinking, this in only Part 1! What will she do for an encore?

Gaaa indeed!

P.S. You need to put Warning when you twitter this.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, and my church's sunday school kids used to put on an annual meat puppet show for youth Sunday. It was marginally better than other youth Sunday productions.

Ok, I'm kidding. It wasn't any better than any other youth Sunday.

Sarah Salter said...

Man, I wish this dictionary had been available when I first started hanging around with you guys on Twitter! I had to figure most of this out using context clues and assumptions. When can we expect the next edition of the Katdish Dictionary?

Helen said...

The scary thing about the meat puppets is imagining them being cooked and served later. GAAAAA!

Amy Sorrells said...

HIII---larious!!! I LOVE your dictionary and think it should become a required textbook for all. Complete with those photos. Holy monkey-butt-meat-puppet, Batman! ROTFL!!!

Nick the Geek said...

frigintastic, I made two showings. I'm still curious how someone could not know "GAAAAA." Seriously?!

~*Michelle*~ said...

This is flippin' frigintastic!

And thank you for that monkey butt photo....I put some Anti-Monkey Butt powder in Josh's stocking this Christmas and he just didn't get the visual when I was explaining it's 101 uses.

Marni said...

Meat puppets haunt my darkest dreams...I'm just sayin.

Also, I think you also need a category called "Sherri". Her unique typing and spelling style often weaves it way into your posts, so she should have a spot in the dictionary. Waddaya think?

katdish said...

Marni - Don't you know that everyone from FOTTSP will have their own subcategory?

Stephanie Wetzel said...

We all get our own categories? Whee!

I have to share a brainstorm that came to me in the car, on my way to Starbucks.

The Katdish Dictionary is a nice name for the service you're providing. But a better name would be:


You can pay me my standard branding fee later.

♥ Kathy said...

hahahaa that rocked!

bondChristian said...

Wow, I totally thought I was with you until I read the definitions (and beheld the pictures). I thought I knew what you meant by each of the words. But little did I know how far from the truth I really was...

-Marshall Jones Jr.

Anonymous said...

PCB always makes me laugh. ;)

katdish said...

Steph -

Believe it or not, I actually thought about that, but then the dog needed to go poop and I forgot.

So there you go. The check's in the mail.

katdish said...

Oh, and Michelle,

My pastor and his wife bought me the complete anti-monkey butt gift set for my birthday.

jasonS said...

RE: meat puppets. Don't knock 'em too much. Zombie children need something to play with too.

RE: the PCB. Poor guy was told it was casual Friday and didn't realize that 'pants optional' was not the way to go. How embarrassing!

Nice post, Kat. :)

Beth said...

Please, please, please tell me that "socks in a box" makes the cut for one of the these installments...I'm sure you have far too much to choose from already on here, but...butt...

Okay, I know I don't come 'round these parts as much any more. But as a someone who just had to: 1. Let the dog out 2. Wipe one set of buttocks and 3. examine another booty because it was "hurty," I strangely identify with anything buttariffic.

For anyone who doesn't know me, those belong to my kids. I don't go around examining the rears of strangers. Although I bet Candy does.

Didja miss me??

katdish said...

Beth! Of COURSE we miss you! And seriously, the list is endless:

Sox in a box
muffintop disaster

There's 2 right off the top of my head.

Beth said...

I did always have a fondness for muffintop disaster... I'm getting to that stage again now that it's cold and I refuse to run. Boo.

Anonymous said...

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Candy said...

Why do I feel like my life just flashed before my eyes? Or the past year of it anyway. GAAAA!!! Really, how could one not know?

My family has strict instructions - I want the cremation post comments read at the launching of my ash from Nick's t-shirt cannon. (she said ash - hehe) while everyone screams GAAAAA!!!

Corinne Cunningham said...

I am dying laughing over here, I couldn't get past the meat puppets though, and that kept me rolling through th rest! You are too much!

~*Michelle*~ said...

in regards to: "Oh, and Michelle, My pastor and his wife bought me the complete anti-monkey butt gift set for my birthday."

Not sure if I should say....

"YAY! You got the Motherload! Congrats and enjoy!"


"ohhhhhh, uhmmmmm, I am sorry to hear that"

MPdaCNA said...

Found you through Bridget and I'm hooked! Sign me up!!

Wendy said...

I think PCB needs meat puppet hands. That would be frigintastic.

JML said...

You said "duty" and "frontsettes". I'm pretty much impressed. and the meat puppets can go to hell, because they are scary.