Saturday, February 7, 2009

Isn't it Ironic? (not particularly)

Irony -
1: a pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other's false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning —called also Socratic irony
2 a: the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning b: a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony c: an ironic expression or utterance
3 a (1): incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2): an event or result marked by such incongruity b: incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play —called also dramatic irony tragic irony.

Thursday night, as I sat in front of my computer reviewing the post I had written for the following morning, I decided it would be a good idea for Jeff (pastor) to review it and make sure I didn't have any glaringly obvious flaws as they pertained to "Zeke" and what he represented for C3 . I attempted to cut and paste the content into an email, but the the pictures became html codes and it was incredibly distracting. (Jeff's a tad ADD himself.) I then got this brilliant idea that I would allow him publishing rights to my blog so he could review the post, then revoke said rights afterwards. It's not that I don't want him to post here. He can tell you that I have asked him on numerous occasions to guest blog, it's just that he's kind of busy. Besides, when I added him as a contributor, my giant head disappeared from the sidebar, and I knew how much all of you would miss that. But I digress...

So, all that happened. He added the disclaimer about Jesus being the Living Cornerstone and associated scripture. Which was great, because some people will look for any reason to tell you how whack they think your theology is. Anyhoo, I made the final changes, scheduled it to post simultaneously with my my SCL premiere, then revoked Jeff's publishing rights. Except that I accidentally revoked my OWN publishing rights instead. I immediately called Jeff and told him what I had done. Irony? I'm not so sure. I think that situation would fall under the category of grace - unmerited favor, because he could have REALLY made me suffer, and trust me -- we wouldn't even be close to even in that department. So, do I have a point to this story? Not really. It just reminded me of the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette:

and the fact that the situations described in that song are unfortunate, but not ironic. As a public service, I have decided to add some words to the song, thereby making it ironic. (You're welcome.)

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day (because he accidentally poked himself in the jugular vein with the pencil he used to fill out the winning ticket)
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay (that happened to be an albino fly, so it was white)
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late (because the electric surge caused by the execution resulted in the phone lines going out two minutes earlier)
Isn't it ironic ... don't you think (no, not really)

It's like rain on your wedding day (in the Sahara desert)
It's a free ride when you've already paid (for the bus)
It's the good advice that you just didn't take (from Governor Blagojevitch)
Who would've thought ... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
'Well isn't this nice...' (Okay, that actually is kind of ironic)
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think
Repeat Chorus

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face (and that is very unfortunate, but not ironic)

It's a traffic jam when you're already late (for your job as the head of public transportation)
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break (at the Marlboro plant)
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife (to cut open the boxes of spoons)
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife (who works as a pharmaceuticals rep for Ambien sleep aid)
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think... (no, not really)
Repeat Chorus

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out (which is nice, but not ironic)

Here's some irony for you: Angry, white Canadian girl becomes international singing sensation with a smash hit called "Ironic", which isn't.

Okay, maybe I can connect all these rabbit trails. On a day when I had planned to sit at my computer all day and bask in the glory of my new found pseudo-celebrity status, I realize that I have to go the grocery store, the "oil changed required" light comes on in my car, and I get a call from the school nurse informing me that my daughter is running a fever and I need to come pick her up.

Do I consider this ironic? Nah. I consider that God saying to me, "Get over yourself You're not that big a deal."


Stephanie Wetzel said...

I'll tell you what's ironic. Being at a bloggers' conference with slow internet.

Just sayin.

Helen said...

I am softly chuckling to myself as I type....
It's like a grammatical error on a blog post done by an English's that? Not as funny as rain in the Sahara, but ironic,no?

jasonS said...

Now that was funny. I would like to hear the sung version of that actually. Would you make a recording for us?

By the way, now that you're famous, will you still visit my lowly blog? :)

wv: kingogi- King Kong's overbearing father who wanted him to take over the family banana stand...

Nick the Geek said...

Hmmm, an English miner? Now is that someone who is English that works in mines or is that someone that mines for English? Either way it seems funny.

Pardon me govna but I seem to have a bit eh coal dust on me face.

katdish said...

Steph - But what about a cat fight? Have they're been any cat fights? At least tell me there was some eye rolling and nasty gossip! Have you posted today? I'll go check!

Helen - If you meant English "minor", then yes - very funny. "Miner" is too obscure, even for me. But it's got a good beat and you can dance to it.

Jason S - I'm I know you?

Nick the Geek - You totally said that out loud, didn't you?

Helen said...

No, I mean English miner. My dad was a coal miner in the Old Country. I was an English miner during my college years...

Ryan B said...

I like that song. You should re-record it with your additions. It would be excellent. Kind of like a Weird Al parody.

Anonymous said...

Miss Katdish, it is also plain to see that Miss Helen was being ironic by spelling minor as "miner" when writing that a grammatical error by an English "minor" is ironic. She further compounded the irony by not adding "sic" after miner. Absolutely ingenious! Brava, Helen! Brava!

Helen said...

Thank you, Clyde. You really are too kind....

Christy said...

Well, thanks for ruining the song for me. Not by your added lyrics, but by posting the video. Now that I've seen her having a seizure while singing the song, I just can't enjoy it anymore. Oh, and I don't remember pointing out your butt on SCL. I'm in no shape to point out ANYBODY's butt with mine being a beacon of cellulite!

wv: frusho - a term of affirmation

"frusho" Christy's butt is big!

Beth said...

Oil light? Are you supposed to get that checked out? I have this pesky check engine light that's been on for about a year...I keep checking on the engine and yup, the engine's still there....I think the light is just broken...

Dude! My wv:'s like a dyslexic and misspelled version of pesky...define pesky for us...

Missy said...

I am glad that I am not the only one who gets really irritated and screams at the radio "That's not irony!" whenever this dumb song comes on.

I kinda liked You Oughta Know. I think I had just broken up with a boyfriend when it came and and, you know, the hymns of Alanis Morrisette were a balm to my soul.

Which speaks volumes.

Welcome to H-Town :)

Nick the Geek said...

maybe that is the irony. The song isn't ironic but it is called irony. That is the most ironic thing ever when you think about it.

Marni said...

Kat, thank you for correcting the song. Ever since it came out, I'd feel compelled to yell at the radio "THAT ISN'T IRONY!!" (except for the plane crash part--his tone was ironic).

I feel so much better now that someone has taken this song to task!