Tuesday, January 27, 2009

This just in: I am not fat, I just have a butt cold!

Okay, whether or not you're considered obese is a matter for those ridiculous insurance charts. Pull-lease! They don't take into account those of us that are big-boned (pronounced: big-bone-ded), and the fact that you have rather large feet and a fairly sizable head. (I gotta fit my giant brain somewhere!) I'm kind of like Oprah...only I'm not famous, African-American, have a book club, a huge production company, nor could I buy and sell you several times over if I wanted to. But I digress...

According to the latest research, obesity may be caused by a virus spread like the common cold. Check this out from foxnews.com:

Obesity can be "caught" as easily as a common cold from other people's coughs, sneezes and dirty hands, scientists said Monday. The condition has been linked to a highly-infectious virus which causes sniffles and sore throats. Nikhil Dhurandhar, an associate professor at The Pennington Biomedical Research Center, in Baton Rouge, La., said the virus, known as AD-36, infects the lungs then whisks around the body, forcing fat cells to multiply and also causing sore throats. "When this virus goes to fat tissue it replicates, making more copies of itself and in the process increases the number of new fat cells, which may explain why the fat tissue expands and why people get fat when they are infected with this virus," Dhurandhar said. In one test, a third of obese people had the rare and highly contagious virus compared to just 11 percent of thinner people. Weight gain can last three months until the body has built up resistance to the bug.

Check it out the entire article here.

I am comforted to know that IT IS NOT MY FAULT! I can only presume that I have a mutant strain of this virus: Fatassatosis. Won't you join me in finding a cure? My bathing suit would appreciate it.


Joanna said...

Yay, i have an excuse!

Annie K said...

Sorry Katdish....can't relate. By the time I came along, they were fresh out of big bottocks and all they had left in stock was flat. At least I have something to sit on.

Helen said...

Sigh. It is all working against me. Hypothyroidism. Bitbutvirusism. My temperment. The fact that I like food. Well, at least the sky is blue today...

Anonymous said...

I've been a cold sufferer for years now.

God must have been handing out lots of ample rears in the sixties.
My sister and I got a matching set.
Our sickness was contacted at birth and runs in our Italian family.

I could weigh 79 lbs. and my rear would still be doing the kadonkadonk when I walk.

* I wear lots of long shirts, blazers, etc. to insure proper coverage.

Big AL calls mine the "mystery butt". No one has seen it in years!!!!

wv: didus

(me to my sis as little children)

"Didus get the last two big butts out there?"

Beth said...

Hehe...Sherri said kadonkadonk and mystery butt...

I consider my rear as one of my better features, but I don't know what that says about me.

Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah....

Beware...this video is just weird. I couldn't find a good one of this song in Extremely Goofy Movie...

Helen said...

Beth, my best feature is my pinky toe. It is painted all pink and pretty. It is the only small and cute think about me. Sigh. Love that pinky toe.
Not to be confused with this Pinky.

Anonymous said...

oder dieses.

w.v. acham: ein Deutscher fluchen Wort

jasonS said...

I knew it couldn't have been all those cookies and desserts I ate over the holidays. That just wouldn't have made any sense!

wv: aversesi- I believe this was St. Francis' last name if I know my history, and boy, do I...

Ryan B said...

Is there any way I can get a vaccine before it's too late?

katdish said...

joanna - yeah, right?!

Annie - My dad has one of those, but we call it a "suck butt".

Helen - there's always that.

Sherri - I think you should show off your assets!

Beth - yeah...not so sure. Weird for sure. That guy has the worst fauxhawk EVER.

Helen - I think you're all kinds of cute.

Ingrid - I don't speak German, but best I can figure is that the wv is a cuss word?

Jason S - You're a dude. Guys can carry around extra weight and nobody's blinks an eye.

Ryan B - Shut up (just kidding)

Stephanie Wetzel said...

ANOTHER way we are alike. Only my butt says badonkadonk. My sister and I could both weigh next-to-nothing and still have lots of cushioning.

My sister was once told by an African-American girl that her butt was awfully big for a white person's.

Italian blood here too.

heartafire said...

You're so cute, Katdish.

And I guess I'll confess to a case of the sniffles myself....

WV: portinit
This is actually a real word at our house. My youngest finds lots of things VERY portinit, especially if it has to do with the health of her dolls.

BeckeyZ said...

Wow, I'm amazed that this sprang from a real news story. WHO KNEW???

Now I can just tell hubby to be nice to me, I'm sick!


Anonymous said...

Get. Out.

I'm hoping they find lame-brain-ed-ness is also virus related. I've been looking for something to pin that on for years now.

Helen said...

Help! I looked in the mirror, and I think my butt caught double pneumonia!

wv opolou-How to say "dang this butt" in Badonkadonk.

Yeah, thanks, I am feeling better this afternoon.

Anonymous said...

Steph, do you think it's all the pasta we Italians consume?

(Along side the cheesy sauces and delicious chocolaty desserts?)

Kris said...

i think you gave it to me...

but seriously,you look pretty good in that pick, very slim (so does tam)



Me said...

Love it!!!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! I laughed so hard and abruptly that I got crazy looks from my husband and my cat! You're hilarious. I bloggy-love you, katdish.

Anonymous said...

Helen- your butt caught double pneumonia! bahahahah!

katdish- I just realized this was you in the pic! I don't know where my head is! I wasn't sure why the pic was up. I thought you had short dark hair? And it looks nothing like the tiny bit of a half face of you wearin' sunglasses that I've come to admire.
Your butt is not even big! ANd you're showing it to the world!
I'm covering mine in my own home and yours is on the world wide web!

You're beautiful--and I love your hair! IS it still long? I love black shiny hair.

Now ,be honest.

Is there something wrong with your eyes?

You have sunglasses on in your profile pic and they are closed in this pic.
Are you blind? Are they just ugly?
Are you camera shy? (something tells me you're not).

COme on, we've seen your butt, now how about a full on face frontal shot! (fully clothed of course).

katdish said...

Awww! Thanks for all the bloggity love!

Angela - I'm not kidding about the big tub of margarine...I made my son get it out of the fridge and open it because I still picture that stupid frog jumping out of it! One of my few phobias.

Sherri -

how's this?

and trust me...I have a sizable arse!

Anonymous said...

Okay. My head is spinning.

I have a "picture" of you in my mind that dates back to October when we first "met". I've seen it for months, so THAT is the katdish I "see" when communicating with you.

Then later today when I realize THIS was your photo, It confused my little brain cuase it is nothing like the first photo.

Then you link me to yet another that looks altogether different again.

Are you messing with me?

Beautiful in all of them, really, but just so different, that now I feel weird talking to you cause I feel like I don't know you at all. Our relationship feels like it has been fake. You were just posing in my mind as a half-face sunglassed woman with short dark hair, great cheekbones and nice teeth!

Now, I see a long black haired lady claiming to be you and claiming to have a big butt, neither of which makes sense to me.

Then the third photo, a totally different look.

I WANT TO SEE A NEW SET OF RECENT PICS so I can finally "meet" the REAL katdish. ANd lock in a visual. This is very important to me and the continuation of our blogging friensship.

Will the real katdish, please stand up!

wv: storin

Huh. All this time and I've beeen storin' the wrong Picture of Katdish in my brain.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I know. I typed "friensship".

Please, spare me. I've already lost THOUSANDS of blog pals already this week because of my darned typos.

Plus, I'm really tired.

Good night.

Anonymous said...

I caught that bug from a McDonalds burger... one of the McDonalds burgers I ate!