Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Katdish's Holiday Gift Guide (Part 3)

I know you have all been anxiously awaiting the next installment of Katdish's Holiday Gift Guide, so I apologize for the delay.
Last night, I was consulting with my editorial staff for this series of posts (Jeff and Tamara); sharing with them some of the possible categories. One of the potential categories was "Awkward Star Wars Geek". This, I explained, would cover gifts for Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings enthusiasts. During this meeting, someone requested that I not "lump us all together" into one group. (Discretion prohibits me from revealing who made this request, but his name rhymes with "Jeff".) Anyhoo, at the request of "rhymes with Jeff" I present to you the 3rd installment of Katdish's Holiday Gift Guide:

The "I Can't Believe It's Actually Over" Harry Potter Fan:

Truth be told, I am a huge Harry Potter fan. I know, I know. Anything having to do with witchcraft and wizardry is evil and bad...yada, yada, yada. But my son is an avid reader, and he kept BEGGING me to let him read the books. Instead of just telling him no (for the 100th time), I decided that I would read them first and decide for myself whether they were as damaging to his faith as some Christian publications would have you believe. What I found was that the constant and unmistakable theme throughout the entire series was that you must sometimes do things not for your own good, but for the good of others and that in the end Love overcomes evil. (Why does that sound so familiar? I can't put my finger on it!) Alas, clever marketing and manufacturing can make a buck off of any beloved work of literature:

So what if you already have the entire series? Your books are probably all dog-earred and bendy. Why not have a nice, clean set in a wicked awesome box to show off to all your friends? Try not to read them, you'll just mess them up. Packed inside a trunk like Harry might carry to Hogwarts are all seven phenomenal bestsellers...Follow Harry from his first days at school through his adventures with Ron Hermione, his confrontations with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and the riveting series conclusion. Hardcover books are housed in a limited edition trunk with sturdy handles, privacy lock, and bonus decorative stickers. ($195.00)

Of all the great characters in the Harry Potter series, Dobby is among my favorites. What better way to immortalize the memory of this humble, brave little house elf than throwing down 200 large for a 10 inch pewter statue of him? ($195.00)

Your favorite "Tolkienian":

What? You don't know what a "Tolkienian" is? It is a person who loves all things "Tolkienesque". Namely, anything having to do with "Lord of the Rings". Again, I must confess that I am also a big LOT
R fan. I'm not rabid or anything...I wouldn't say, buy my husband a framed map of middle earth, or if I was a guy, buy my wife an Evenstar Pendant of Arwen, but still, I'm a fan. If you have such a fan on your list, here are some great ideas!
Of course, I must recommend the aforementioned Evenstar Pendant of Arwen. While the product description is rather boring, I'm pretty fond of one of the customer reviews: "The pendant was enclosed in a finely finished wooden box that gave an imminent feeling of the movie itself; which is exactly what a collector and fan looks for in their purchase. “…the light of the Evenstar does not wax or wane…” Lady Arwen, LOTR TOTT; this pendant seems to have captured that bit of elvish magic." ($99.00) Umm...yeah. By the way, Sky Mall has the matching earrings for $95.00; they "does not wax or wane" neither!

This next item I hesitate to recommend, because I fear either you do not comprehend the power of the one ring, or you understand full well and would use it for evil. I can only say, purchase at your own risk!!! The One Ring - Gold Edition: cast in 18K gold, laser engraved, certificate of authenticity and treasure box. ($650.00)

Gollum(TM) - Smeagol(TM) Bookends
Depicting the dual personalities of one of the most complex characters from The Lord of the Rings(TM), each piece made of heavy cast metal and mounted on a wood base. Measures 8 inches in height. (Only available as a pair).
Sure, they're creepy, but what better way to draw attention to your J.R.R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis collection? ($195.00)

Who doesn't just LOVE Indiana Jones? (Besides me -- I mean the first three were pretty good. But seriously, I get it already!) But like Rick Warren is fond of saying, "It's not about me!" Ladies, do you have a very special archeology professor by day, swaggering hero by night, overall super guy in your life? Show him just how lucky you are with one or all of these fantastic and reasonably priced items from the Indiana Jones collection:
Indiana Jones Leather Bullwhip: An authentic replica of the whip used in the Indiana Jones movies. Measures 10' in length. Made of fine leathers. Display included. ($199.00) Wow! an "authentic replica". Don't you just hate those fake replicas?

Indiana Jones Machete: Authentic replica. Stainless steel blade. Complete with collector display. Machete measures 30 inches in length. ($219.00)

And, of course what Indy fan could hold their heads up without the coveted Indiana Jones Fedora Hat?: Our licensed reproduction from Steven Spielberg's adventure films is 100% wool felt, completely water repellent, and ready for every adventure life hurls your way. Imported. ($49.00)

Okay people. This conclude another exciting installment of Katdish's Holiday Gift Guide. I could write one every day -- there's certainly no shortage of material. But this is a little too easy -- like shooting fish in a barrel. My next and last post will contain an item that is so awesomely ridiculous, it deserves a post of its very own. Until then, remember that you can pay your Visa with your Master Card.


Stephanie Wetzel said...

Ooooo, we get that catalog! My son is also an avid reader who was introduced to HP by ...me. When the catalog comes, he snatches it up and disappears into his room. He's actually got an "authentic reproduction" Harry Potter wand.

Are you sure you and I aren't sisters? ;)

WV: deric: What I will name my fourth child if it's a boy. Cuz I like making my kid spell his name to everyone in perpetuity.

Beth said...

I literally had to spit my tea into my cup to keep from spewing it all over. What caused this fit you might ask? Why, scrolling down to see the bookends! OH. MY. I thought the Dobby statue was nuts and then...
There they were.

Yes, my church is filled with computer people, but surprisingly most of them don't gravitate to fantasy geekiness. That would be MY deep dark secret. Oh yes, I lived in the world of Star Wars and Tolkien for awhile because all of my friends loved them. You know, filming movies in the woods, pretending to be elves and such....it was a lot of fun. In high school. (Maybe early college.) Harry Potter hadn't hit it big yet, so we had to pretend we were in Braveheart all the time. What can I say? Those were the creative people and I was creative. So don't despair "rhymes with Jeff," I am laughing with you...not at you. Really. But if you buy any of these things...it's just too sad for laughter.

Helen said...

Wow--I liked HP too, but, oh my...

katdish said...

Steph - Sisters? I'm thinking more like we were separated at birth. And YOU GET THE SKY MALL CATALOG SENT TO YOUR HOUSE? I didn't know that was possible! Your WV explanation was stinkin' hilarious, BTW.

Beth - Wow. If we ever got both our church plants together, talk about an "Awkward Star Wars Geeks" Convention! And stop defending "rhymes with Jeff". You're ruining all my fun!

Stephanie Wetzel said...

Ohhhh... Nno, I don't get the SkyMall Catalog delivered to my house. (What's up with THAT? Wouldn't that be AWESOME?)

There's another catalog that has all those LOTR and HP and other fantasy movie "mementos". I think it's the same stuff though. And yes, the whole family likes to look thru it.

Jeff said...

Beth- Thanks for the solidarity. Yes, I have read all the Lord of the Rings books and have all three movies. Yes, I received a tapestry "map" of Middle Earth as a gift once and gave my wife an "Arwen" pendant. No, I won't be shopping at Sky Mall for, well, anything really. And although true "hardcore" fans of Star Wars, Harry Potter, Star Trek, or even Tolkien would probably call me a "lightweight," (I think I'm way more of a history/documentary geek),I am still without a doubt, a fan- and a geek.
And so far, I'm just dandy with that. I guess it just seems to me that in one form or another, we're all freaks; it's just that some people are better at keeping it quiet. ;)

And Kathy, speaking of that...

I wonder if you recall an incident a few months ago when a certain someone tried to convince us that the newly painted laundry room just wouldn't be complete unless we let her add a mural of Dobby peeking out from around the little half-door that leads to our under-the-stairs storage? What was it you were saying about being a rabid fan...

katdish said...


Yeah, I remember the Dobby idea -- That Tamara! What a nut, huh? (hee, hee!)

Annie K said...

I'll take a bullwhip to hang on the wall. One never knows when that might come in handy.

katdish said...

TMI Annie, TMI!

Annie K said...

Uh...I was thinking in the LIVING ROOM...to keep the 5 kids in line. Eeesshhh....Katdish....


katdish said...

Annie -

Oh...well, that's very different...nevermind!

Anonymous said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.



katdish said...

Hi Susan!

Thanks for commenting. We're all a bit nuts around here, but I mean that in a good way. Hope you'll join in the conversation again. Just out of curiousity, how did you find me?