Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts

Monday, November 2, 2009

Logan's Do-Over (by Billy Coffey)



Halloween night is usually a busy one at my house. From the time the porch light goes on until the time the candy runs out, there will be an average of 160 ghosts, witches, Hannah Montanas, and ninjas walking up the driveway. Not kidding. Kids take Halloween seriously around here.

The rush is generally concentrated between the time we get home from our own trick-or-treating until around 8:30, at which time either all the children’s bags are full or their parents are out of patience. There are always a few stragglers of course, mostly the teenagers who are too old to want to be seen begging for free candy but too young to pass it up.

But even the stragglers are done by 9:30. I’ve never had a trick-or-treater knock on my door past that time. Until Logan, anyway. He knocked on my door twenty hours later.

Wife and kids were gone, which had left me in the enviable position of having both the television and the house to myself. I had just settled in to a riveting football game when I heard footsteps on the porch, followed by a soft knock.

“Trick or treat!”

Standing at the door was a pint-sized T-Rex. Styrofoam teeth jutted out from his head, and a long tail stretched all the way to the steps. Very impressive.

“Trick or treat!” the boy said again. He held out an orange plastic bag and shook it twice for effect.

“It’s not Halloween,” I said.

“I know.”

“Halloween was yesterday.”

“I know.”

This, I decided, was a new low. Not only did I probably give this kid a handful of candy last night, now he was back for more.

“Didn’t you get enough last night?” I asked him.

“Nuh-uh,” he said.

“Little greedy, ain’t ya?”

He wrinkled his brow at that, as if he were trying to decide if that was a compliment.

“What’s your name?” I asked him.

“Logan.”

“Well Logan, I think you probably have enough candy at your house, don’t you?”

“No. I don’t have any.”

“You don’t have any candy?”

“Nuh-uh.” He shook his bag again—please?

“You didn’t go trick-or-treating last night?” I asked.

“No,” Logan said. “I got dressed and went to Granny’s, and then I got sick. I yarked in my bag.”

It was my turn to wrinkle my brow, but he answered my question before it was asked by stating, “No, not this bag.”

“Oh,” I said. “Good.”

“Mommy says I can have a do-over. She says we don’t get much do-overs, but I think they’re the best.”

I glanced out toward the driveway. Mommy stood at the end and rested an elbow on our mailbox. She gave me a wave and a what-was-I-supposed-to-do? shrug.

“Most everybody’s out of candy,” Logan said, “so they gave me cooler stuff.”

He opened his bag for proof—two candy bars, a pencil, some glue, and a five dollar bill.

“Not bad,” I said. “Okay, hang on and I’ll see what I can find.”

The only candy left was the bounty my kids had secured the previous night. While it was entirely within my bounds to confiscate a few pieces here and there for my own use, I didn’t really feel right giving Logan any. In the end I came up with a small spiral notebook, two AA batteries (every boy needs batteries for something), a baseball card, and an arrowhead I had found near the creek.

“There ya go,” I said, emptying it all into his bag.

Sweet! Thanks.”

“No problem. Happy Halloween.”

Logan the tiny T-Rex bounded back down the driveway to his mother. We exchanged a wave and another shrug, and I stood and watched as he knocked on the door of the house across the road.

Do-overs. Logan was right, they’re the best. A way to erase all the bad and make some good in the process. His mom, however, was wrong. Do-overs are more common than she thought.

Every day is a do-over, I think. A chance to right the wrongs of the day before, to be better and love more and reach higher than the day before. Few things in life have brought me more comfort than that fact.

That no matter how dark my night may be, daybreak will come.

***

To read more from Billy Coffey, visit him at at his new website and follow him on the twitter at @billycoffey.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Max and Ruby: The Halloween Edition (by Beck)



As a very special, spooky Halloween treat, I've invited Beck from Toad and Frog are Still Friends (Profile: I'm a stay-at-home mom who likes to write! I know! I'm a delicate, unique snowflake!) to guest blog for me today. She has a gift, you see. A gift for taking beloved children's stories and making them scary. I was really hard pressed to choose just one, but having suffered through countless episodes of Max and Ruby with my daughter, this one is sort of my sentimental favorite.

But enough about me, here's Beck with her take on Max and Ruby:

***

Once there had been a mother.

He remembered her, a bit - her breath that smelled like communion grape juice and cigarettes, her harsh laugh and her sudden rages, the way he was frightened and small and hiding underneath his bed, in his tent, under the slide at the playground, hiding from her giant hitting hands and her loud voice.

Ruby made her go away.

He didn't remember much of that night - nothing much more than Ruby giving him warm funny tasting milk at bedtime and then his sleepy awareness of raised yelling female voices and a sudden loud noise and then silence. Then he woke up the next morning to Ruby bright and extra cheerful and the kitchen extra clean and a new vegetable garden in the backyard.

He likes working in the garden. He likes putting his hands in the dirt, likes watering the fat jolly vegetables. Ruby smiles and brings him lemonade and they have picnics for lunch and sometimes he sits on the swing even though the swing is getting smaller and smaller all the time.
He keeps forgetting to ask Ruby about the shrinking swing. He forgets sometimes that Grandma went away a long time ago and finds himself standing in front of her house where strangers live now. He forgets that Mom went away, too, and hides under the piano bench, hides under the front steps, until Ruby lures him out with gummy worms and trips to the ice cream store.

"Ruby," says their neighbour Mrs. Huffington over the fence. "You're doing a wonderful job looking after him, but your whole life is passing you by."

He remembers that sometimes, the way he remembers the surprising bits of red in the kitchen, the loud sound, his mother's sharp breath and giant hurting hands. But then it's time for a picnic and the sun is bright and it's time to work in the garden again, their special garden where the vegetables come up so big and ripe.

***



For more children's stories turned spooky including Clifford the Big Red Dog, Arthur, Winnie the Pooh, Pippi Longstocking, Scooby Doo, Franklin, Berenstein Bears and Goodnight Moon, check them out HERE.

Visit Beck at Toad and Frog are Still Friends and follow her on the twitter at
@beckfromfrogandtoad.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Halloween Costumes or Prostitots-in-Training Wear?


I realize many of you have found your way to my blog recently. First and foremost, I want to express my appreciation for taking the time to read my silly little blog. Until recently, wandering to this blog has always been a like a box of chocolates - sometimes you get the delicious nougat centers. Other times you get the one filled with toothpaste. But I've sort got a groove going on here now, and so far I dig it the most. Here's what you'll find and when you'll find it:

Sunday:
A post that (hopefully) honors God

Monday:
A guest post from Billy Coffey

Tuesday:
Something

Wednesday:
An awesomatastic post from a fabulous guest blogger (or one of my friends - SNORT! - just kidding, they're all awesome.)

Thursday:
Something else

Friday:
The epic twitter update

Saturday:
A repost of something that has appeared on this blog previously, typically something ridiculous. Because I'm all up in ridiculous.

So...according to my schedule, today is "Something Else":

My 8-year old daughter informed me last week that she wants to dress as a devil cat for Halloween. What's a devil cat? I have no idea. But it sounds sort of slutty to me, so she will most likely NOT be dressing as a devil cat.

Did I miss something? Since when is it acceptable for pre-pubescent little girls to dress like hookers? Or as Erin, winner of my first ever Super Skanktacular Saturday Giveaway might call them, Prostitots?



I suppose I could play the blame game here. Kids are constantly bombarded with inappropriate images from TV and other media outlets. When was the last time you tried to buy your daughter a pair of shorts? It's becoming increasingly difficult to find plain, knit or cotton shorts without words like "Juicy" or "Jail Bait" emblazoned across the butt. Lovely...

But here's the thing - if you don't want your daughter to dress provocatively, man up and put your foot down. Don't give in to their incessant whining. Just say no to skanky kids costumes.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Worst...Treat...Ever

Tonight was our neighborhood's annual Halloween Hayride. I live in a really unique neighborhood of approximately 40 homes on lots anywhere from 1 to 5 acres each. It's a great place to live, especially if you have kids. It's basically a giant cul-de-sac with 2 small cul-de-sacs branching off of the main one. There is only one way in and one way out of the neighborhood, so we don't have any thru traffic. As I said, a great place to raise a family. One of the only drawbacks to living here is that there are no street lights and no sidewalks. About 15 years ago some neighbors got together and decided it would be great to have all the kids pile onto the back of a trailer lined with bales of hay, and drive around the neighborhood and all trick or treat together. It provides safety for the kids and is a great way to get to know your neighbors. As an added bonus, rather than answering your door several times a night, you only have the one onslaught of kids, then you can put the candy away, and call it a night. It's awesome. My kids love it, and they get some really great candy and treats. Last year, one neighbor was giving out FULL SIZED SNICKERS BARS -- Awesome. So, I just sat down to go through my daughter's treat bag. As a good mom, it's important that I check to see if any of the candy is tainted and to remove any of the strawberry twizzlers and keep them for myself. Motherhood has its privileges. So, I grab a handful of stuff, lay it down on the counter and spot this:
Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that some health conscience people like to give out healthy alternatives such as pretzels, oranges and other crap that kids don't like to get. Halloween themed pencils are also a good choice if you don't want to give candy. But people, Halloween is not a re-gifting holiday. While it may be tempting to go through your junk drawer and spread the wealth to your neighbor's kids, it's just not in the spirit of the holiday. Not that I'm against re-gifting -- I have done it myself. (Of course, I've never re-gifted to any of my wonderful friends that read this blog, but you know, some other people.) Anyway, who thinks to themselves, "What 3 to 10 year old child wouldn't be delighted to receive a Ricky Martin Livin' La Vida Loca mini keychain?"
I'm going to do a bit of undercover investigating around the neighborhood. Christmas will be here sooner than you think, and while I will give out wonderful homemade candy to many of neighbors, the giver of this little Halloween trinket will be re-gifted a small, beautifully wrapped box with a card that simply says: "Feliz Navidad".