Saturday, March 27, 2010

Meat Week on the Twitter (Apparently)

(Don't you just love a good meat puppet?)

So, this week I had some fairly in-depth conversations about corned beef, pork chops, bacon and spam. Oh, and duck lust. Lots of talk of duck lust...

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

RT @okiewife: to my new follower from China--welcome to my mediocre life. I will try not to disappoint you.

In case any of you are interested, I'm having lunch with @BuddyLovetheDog

@noveldoctor I'm sorry....what? (in reply to noveldoctor Writing is almost as hard as listening.)

Cold Pizza: Not just for breakfast anymore

My son is receiving a Leadership award at school today. When I asked him what it was for, he said, "No clue".

RT @Babybloomr: @JesusNeedsNewPR Wait-- you're giving away Amy Grant??!! That comes dangerously close to trafficking, little mister.

@marni71 You gotta admire an old woman so comfortable in her nekkidness.

Yes. Agreed RT @noveldoctor: Always be yourself. Unless you're a pompous ass. In that case, be someone nicer.

RT @Goddess_Live:Power intoxicates men When a man is intoxicated by alcohol he can recover, but when intoxicated by power he seldom recovers

RT @maggiedammit: Tootsie Pop at 9:14am, THAT'S RIGHT SUCKERS.

RT @annalisa2: "Maybe 'buzzkill' was a bad choice of words... you're like... the dark cloud that unites us."

RT @CandySteele: Good Morning Twitter. It's National Waffle Day - I will celebrate my inability to make a decision today.

@CandySteele I actually think it's sort of delightful that she was so completely not self-conscious of her nekkidness.

@CandySteele Seriously...what else is one to do in such situations? (in reply to CandySteele @katdish I was so proud to have maintained a professional composure all the while thinking BLOG POST! BLOG POST!)

I'm too tired to rant, but seriously - - don’t be such a loser...

@katdish Except that guy who followed me for the courtesy refollow & then unfollowed me. I know when someone unfollows me...

Okay, lovely people! (and the rest of you) Goodnight! (Oh, I'm KIDDING! You're all lovely

@coffeewithmarty It's okay. @helenatrandom is everyone's favorite.

@Helenatrandom If I say yes, will I get some celebrity duck comments? (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish I see that there were no celebrity duck comments today. Are you disappointed?)

@noveldoctor So many sweet memories include bacon, don't they? (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish Best bacon ever was at local B&B. Slightly sweet, crispy. Perfect. Went there just for bkfst with editorial team. Ah, memories...)

@noveldoctor "regional bacons" How fancy! (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish I think there really is one. Includes regional bacons and unusual flavors. No defibrillator, though. Sadly.)

@noveldoctor Yes. Always handy to keep one of those around. You never know... (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish Yes, a ham sandwich with bacon and cheese. Deep fried. Served with a side of bacon. And a defibrillator.)

@noveldoctor Also a ham sandwich. (in reply to noveldoctor You know what goes well with bacon? More bacon.)

Doing my part to promote @prodigaljohn's book to the bookstore to replace the 2 books my daughter spilled her water bottle all over. Oh yeah...she's paying for them

@coffeewithmarty You weren't following @Helenatrandom? That's grounds for a public unfollow.

@weightwhat That's what I'm saying (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Yes, you must be very careful when you warp the unwarped.)

Whenever I get a new follower who is following 10 people or less, I feel a great sense of responsibility towards them to guide them.

@buzzbyannies You mean where they keep the hookers? (in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish Yep - won't be home til Saturday night. Trying to recover from DC yesterdary. Saw a lot of the capitol most people don't see.)

@melissa_rae Yes, you did make me do something. Is is empowering?

@buzzbyannies Hey! Are you still on vacation?

Why, yes...As a matter of fact, I DID just quote myself.

Strip away all the things people think define U, & U are ultimately left w/what U know 2 be the truth

Can you ever REALLY have too much magnesium?

RT @pprmint777: @katdish Who knew Duck Sex was such a hot topic? Spring is a Declaration by @pprmint777

@Helenatrandom Apparently so. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Yeah... I was wondering how you got so lucky, too! You must have some solid Hollywood connections...)

@Helenatrandom Yes. I appreciate that. Rather curious about the celebrity duck comments though... (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish You can be proud of me. I left a comment for your blog this evening, and I avoided commenting on the duck lust.)

@CandySteele Very coffey-esque? Yes? (in reply to CandySteele @katdish Have to give you that one. Mea culpa.)

@VariantVal Good to know. (in reply to VariantVal Hi everybody, I'm not dead)

@CandySteele Whose idea do you think it was for the @billycoffey porch pic? I know what I'm doing. (in reply to CandySteele @coffeewithmarty Yeah, @katdish is like a rock scientist or something)

@Helenatrandom But would you eat a grilled cheese sandwich from a Jesus Frying pan? (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish GAAAAAAAA!)

RT @InkPanther: Saw this at the candy shoppe:

ARE YOU SERIOUS??? RT @coffeewithmarty: @sarahmsalter @weightwhat WHAT does TWSS mean

@BunBunRabbit Pirate Bunny? (in reply to BunBunRabbit @katdish You forgot the bunny ears. Please don't forget the bunny ears)

@coffeewithmarty Wait! I added some final touches!

@coffeewithmarty That's a winner! (in reply to coffeewithmarty Well??? What do you think of the latest avatar?)

@sarahmsalter And you can't ignore me. I'm too adorably annoying. (in reply to sarahmsalter @coffeewithmarty Yeah. Ignore @katdish. She snorts at everybody.)

@coffeewithmarty that you mention it...Snort! (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish Okay. This is my wordpress one. It's the avatar that someone said, "Looks like you ate a bunch of chinese food that made you tired")

@coffeewithmarty What about your wordpress avatar? I like that one.

@SBeeCreations You are a wealth of information. (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish Exactly. Salt grains (back when salt was used to pay salaries (sal=salt)) were called corns. Hence, corned beef :)

@coffeewithmarty How many times are you going to change your avatar today?

@SBeeCreations Ah! At last! The intelligencia has spoken! Thank you. So the meat gets a salt bath? (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish it's the brining process with the spices)

@marni71 It's a shame @HelenatRandom isn't here to google it for me. (in reply to marni71 @katdish Peyton's theory is the "beef" ate, before being prepackaged and sold to Kroger, only corn. She gets her intelligence from me.)

RT @billycoffey: Student to me: "If I put 2 stamps on this, will it get there faster?" Me to student: "How'd you get into college?"

@marni71 Actually, it was a leftover porkchop Ron cooked. But I did make a corned beef roast yesterday, & I still don't know why it's corned (in reply to marni71 Wow! Did ya'll read that? @BuddyLovethedog choked on a pork chop! That means @katdish was...COOKING! Oh, the humanity.)

@sarahmsalter Oh, he's fine stupid dog. I dropped a pork chop on the floor & he tried to swallow it whole. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish I remember now. With my fried hard drive this week, my brain is a little scrambled. Is Buddy Love okay now?)

Just had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on @BuddyLovetheDog, then I had to google the correct spelling of "Heimlich"

@marni71 @sarahmsalter In my defense of yesterday's email, I was just trying to include you all in my life.

@marni71 Ah yes...I love a good serious email. It's always fun to see who will turn it south first. (in reply to marni71 @katdish That same crap shoot goes for our serious emails too, so I know you're immune to the turn the blog comments can suddenly take.)

@amysorrells Dear Lord, Help Amy be bendy (in reply to amysorrells Dear Lord, please bend my time. Or bend me into a better person. And help me know when I've achieved either one for You. Amen.)

RT @br8kthru: @marni71 @katdish it really was a beautiful post, but how do u ignore duck sex though? (This is an age-old question, for sure)

Inquiring minds wanna know...

Question: What makes "corned beef" corned?

@marni71 No problem. Anyone who writes for my blog should know that the comments section is a crap shoot at best. (in reply to marni71 @br8kthru Oh, are we fake apologizing? Sorry for my comment @katdish.)

I love it when my comments section takes on a life of its own: Spring is a Declaration by @pprmint777

@sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries Yes. I'll help. But only if she lets me use a leaf blower and a blow torch. I like my power tools (in reply to sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries I'm sure @katdish would come help you declutter. She's anti-crap, you know.)

@coffeewithmarty (laughs maniacally) (in reply to coffeewithmarty WHEW! (wipes brow nervously) "@coffeewithmarty You've escaped my wrath....for now." /via @katdish)
@coffeewithmarty You've escaped my wrath....for now. (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish Yes, due to my uncoordinated thumbs on my tiny screen on my phone)

@coffeewithmarty YOU REPORTED ME AS SPAM???? (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish cuz i was trying to DM you and I accidently reported u as spam. I unblocked you, contacted twitter, and refollowed you.)

@coffeewithmarty Why I got a follow email notification from you. Thought you were following me. (in reply to coffeewithmarty what are we talking about? "@coffeewithmarty Yeah...what's up with that?" /via @katdish)

@coffeewithmarty Oh, let's not... (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish Here's the deal. I'm going to be trying a variety of different ones today. We could go with a risque one.)

@weightwhat It's really a shame Sherri's not on the twitter anymore. in reply to weightwhat RT @katdish I want to thank my friend Sherri for sending me this breaking headline: // BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

@Helenatrandom Yeppers. I think @billycoffey hopped over to my blog thinking, "Who does she think she is?" Guess he knows now... (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish I remember that comment! I just didn't realize it was your first...)

Here's the comment to @billycoffey Your grandmother was a very wise woman, indeed. And you dropped the "f" bomb on her? Jerk!

This day in history: One year ago today, I left my first of many snarky comments on @billycoffey's blog.

Also? TWSS.

I want to thank my friend Sherri for sending me this breaking headline:

RT @badbanana: My oldest daughter is now a teenager. I've prepared for this day by preemptively hating myself for the last 40 years.

@ffjewelry Sorry, I must have been channeling Johnny Cockran.

@ffjewelry When in doubt, carry out. (in reply to ffjewelry Cook dinner or get take out? I can't decide.)

@mabeswife He's like the drunk uncle you only see at Thanksgiving, except you see him all the time...

@Leeleeqba yep. He told President Obama that the health care bill being signed was a big f-ing deal.

Joe Biden just dropped the F-bomb on national TV. He's so classy...

@br8kthru TWSS (in reply to br8kthru @Brian_Russell Reminds me, the other day I typed "meat" for "meet" -which also reminds me, I'd like to plan an event called a "meat-&-greet")

@sarahmsalter Oh, tell me you've never done that! (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Gracious! There's a visual I wish I could purge from my mind...)

One nice thing about having the house to yourself is no one can see you walking around w/a tissue sticking out of your nose.

Sorry/you're welcome!


Linda Yezak said...

This tells me so much about you, not the least of which is you're far better at tweeting than I am. This was fun. Thanks for the giggles!

Maureen said...

Just a question and a couple of comments:

-- You were in D.C. and didn't call me?

-- For the longest time I thought "Helen at Random" was "Helena Trandom".

-- The notion of a "Meat & Greet" leaves me forever scarred (and scared, too). We just don't have events like that here. People are too busy trying to crash White House state dinners.

katdish said...

Maureen - No, I wasn't in DC, @buzzbyannies was there. I was living vicariously thru her tweets.

"Helena Trandom" - Snort!

♥ Kathy said...

It's amazing what that meat puppet picture does to a sick stomach...just sayin...I totally loved the whole Marty reporting you as spam. What is wrong with him?!?!?!? haha

Daffy Duck said...

Apparently when it comes to duck sex, you people here are all talk, no action!

Huey, Dewey, and Louey said...

We should have known! Here you go promising a little duck lovin' (at least it's implied on the Google...) and leaving us with nothing but idle talk!!!

Duck tease!!!!

Bun Bun said...

Thank you for taking my suggestion for @coffeewithmarty 's picture. Hopefully he sees the improvement, and will once again adjust his profile pic.

Candy said...

Making your ho-down that is titled "Meat Week" and headlined by a meat puppet is wrong on so many levels. I feel like I need to take a shower now.

Helen said...

I wondered then and am still wondering... Did Sherri REALLY send that to you?

So proud to have made it on your twitter post this week! Can't say I haven't accomplished anything...

Louey said...

I'm not REALLY like the other ducks.
I have more than duck sex on my mind.
It's the peer pressure that is getting to me.

Donald Duck said...

I'm sorry about the boys' behavior, Ms. Katdish. I'll try to keep a better eye on their online activities....

Anonymous said...

Daisy says: "Oh yes Donald it was good for me too, you are the best Ever." (in a monotone voice ) as she polishes her webbed foot nails.

Wendy said...

Mmmm... Meat & Greet. Will there be bacon? And duck?

Donald Duck said...

Hey, at least I'm getting some and not reduced to looking for Duck porn on a chicken blog!

JML said...

Obama's package is scary. Good thing I"m not a republican? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!! OH NO!!!