The First Rule of the Jake Club is Bacon Jesus, OSLT...

Every single week I think to myself, I wasn't really on the twitter that much this week, wonder if I'll have enough tweets to do a twitter update. Clearly, I'm delusional...I know you probably think I have a ridiculous number of tweets here, but what you see here represents about 25% of my tweets from the previous week. Which is lawesome (lame + awesome).

Here's the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@amysorrells Do not tweet in the shower! (in reply to amysorrells @MaryDeMuth Be glad. Be very glad. Showering now.)

AMEN! Those things are VILE! RT @CharlesEllison: Cadbury Creme Eggs = gross.

RT @noveldoctor: I wrote a brilliant novel. Then I woke up. Guess I'll have to wait for my nap to check sales figures.

@br8kthru Yes. Your comment was quite....educational. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish I finally found my purpose in life- commenting on Katdish's blog... It's a red-letter day for sure. :)

Once again, the comments on my blog outshine the post. I heart my commenters!

Me Likey! RT @PeterPollock: Best (available) name for my new hosting site I've seen so far is katdishhosting.com. .... hmmm

@TwinkleChar It's really a shame I don't control the literary world; I enjoy a well placed semicolon.

@gyoung9751 So, Glynn - are you going to be my agent when I write my katdishionary?

@beckfromfrogandtoad Um...ewh.



RT @beckfromfrogandtoad: @katdish A Canadian delicacy. Hand-cut french fries. Covered in cheese curds. And gravy.

@beckfromfrogandtoad Please define "poutine" before my imagination takes over.

"I shop at a computer store called, "Your Crap is Already Obsolete" ~ Jeff Cesario

Early voting today in Texas. Should I vote for a Texas political insider or a Washington political insider for Gov? Decisions, decisions!


RT @badbanana: There's really no need for a closing ceremony at the Olympics. Just turn the flame off. Everyone will get the idea.

And scantily dressed women give a whole new meaning to the term "Ho-down".

In honor of the rodeo, it's Go Texan Day in Houston! Where seemingly mild mannered business executives dress like Howdy Doody

RT @Babybloomr: Bad hair day. Woke up with my bangs inexplicably resembling Hitler's moustache and I have no idea why.

@Brian_Russell Then don't. #FF is not the boss of you. (in reply to Brian_Russell I don't feel like participating in #FF like a sheep.)

@gyoung9751 I'm pretty sure @billycoffey is okay with not being a queen. (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish But you will always be the queen.)

He said it would never happen. I insisted that it would. Now @billycoffey is about to pass me in followers. Follow him & prove me right!

Which reminds me, I wrote another Katdishionary post. Part 4 of infinity...

I could never write a new blog post again. Just mine my comments section for material.

RT @muchl8r: Said about me at work: "The first rule of Jake Club is, you do not talk about Jake Club" . . .flabbergasted but kinda flattered

@stretchmarkmama We've covered Bacon Jesus and a Jesus frying pan. A good day, me thinks.(in reply to stretchmarkmama @katdish Jesus Frying Pan? Man, I gotta join your religion. I have no idea what that is, but Jesus + Grease? How can that not be holy?)

@HeatheroftheEO Well I hope you have that on speed dial. (in reply to HeatheroftheEO 65412369+5278847871874/78848748742274 7752752748477444742774 7211427472727277 (tweet from Miles-age 4) (he says it's our phone number)

@elysa Oh, well that makes sense! Thank you! (in reply to elysa @katdish google says "or something like that")

@HeatheroftheEO You're not helping... (in reply to HeatheroftheEO @katdish Oh Silly Little Timmy)

I need some clarification. What does the text abbrev. OSLT mean?

@amysorrells Well it is now. We make up our own hash tags. We're rebels like that. (in reply to amysorrells @katdish "RagingADD" is a hashtag? I'm gonna follo . . . . SQUIRREL!!!!)

@SheilaWalsh SpongeBob brings so many people together! And OMGoogle! I just realized I've seen you at a conference before! (in reply to SheilaWalsh @katdish We had coffee when he was in Dallas:) We compared iPhone's and both had SpongeBob Squarepants on them-beautiful man!!)

@amysorrells Just to tell you...that is going to STINK!!! (in reply to amysorrells Goin' to a shark dissection parent meeting. Gonna dissect a shark with Youngest Son tomorrow. He's watching Jaws: The Revenge as I type.)

@redclaydiaries Sweet Bacon Jesus dreams! (in reply to redclaydiaries Okay. OKAY. It is 12:30 Friday morning here. I MUST go to sleep. Have fun, US friends!)

@redclaydiaries What sort of place wouldn't welcome Bacon Jesus? (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish SNORT. I just got that. No, they do not eat bacon. Bacon Jesus would not be welcome here.)

@SheilaWalsh Okay, how did you get a picture with Bono on your profile #notatalljealous

@redclaydiaries Oh, wait....they don't eat bacon huh?

@redclaydiaries That's unfortunate, because who doesn't like a little bacon in their cereal? (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Oddly, I have not seen bagels. Lox, yes. But apparently you put it on rolls. The no-mixing-meat-&-milk rule is interesting too.)

@Helenatrandom Oh yeah...because people come to my blog for recipes... (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Maybe you need to tell her she can share a recipe. She seems more interested in that blog lately. And facebook. ;-)

This is how my mind works, people.

I just thought of a great name for a band: Medicinal Porpoises

@Helenatrandom For medicinal purposes, of course. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Well, seat belts couldn't hurt to keep me from falling off of a bar stool. I usually drink my whiskey sitting on a swivel chair...)

@Helenatrandom Seat belts? I dunno. Would that make a difference in your interest? (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Do the bar stools have seat belts?)

@sarahmsalter I'm just trying to keep it real, Sarah. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Amen! In about 2 hours, that's what I'll look like. Only I WON'T be posting the pics!)

@arestlessheart I'm pretty random. (in reply to arestlessheart @katdish that was SO random... what the heck?)

Sometimes beauty isn't pretty. http://twitpic.com/15b26c


Just got an email from someone who thinks my readers would B interested in cookware & barstools. Yeah...they did some in-depth research .

@coffeewithmarty For the record, I'm not ORIGINALLY from Texas. And there's only one katdish. (in reply to coffeewithmarty @CandySteele Yes, you are right. Iowaegans need to stick together. The world is a big place :) Full of @katdish Texans.)

@CandySteele Why you gotta be a katdish hater? (in reply to CandySteele @muchl8r Please clarify for the Twitter that you weren't talking about @katdish)

@buzzbyannies You got that right. (in reply to buzzbyannies @Katdish Better than a dumba$$... Snort!)

@muchl8r Aw, you're welcome! (in reply to muchl8r Some people... they just make joy. It's pretty much amazing.)

@buzzbyannies Smart @$$ (in reply to buzzbyannies @Nick_thegeek @Candysteele In that last design I thought I saw the profile of @katdish at the top of the page... Sweird.)

RT @CandySteele: @katdish and for the record, Marty is WAY to polite to you. #justsayin @coffeewithmarty

@BridgetChumbley Exactly. But on the up side, you never have to wonder what I really think.(in reply to @katdish Is "somewhat direct" like saying the Pope is "sorta Catholic?")

@CandySteele Look, I already told @coffeewithmarty that I was "somewhat direct". He's okay with that.

@CandySteele @Nick_theGeek And perhaps a coconut bra.

@CandySteele @Nick_theGeek I think there should be chex mix in the background.

@justanotherdayk @makeadiff21 So my choices are YouTube star or cirque de solis performer? Excuse me, that girl has math homework to do!

My daughter is hula hooping and jump roping at the same time! Surely there's a future in that.

RT @br8kthru: @marni71 Ah, see- this is what I'm talking about... the sense of satisfaction is overwhelming (TWSS)

I concur RT @Helenatrandom: @katdish Thats more of an "TWHS", isn't it. #yeahiwentthere

noveldoctor That's as delightful as it is horrifying. (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish I've always felt a kinship with Eeyore. But my goal is to be Eeyore as re-imagined by Tim Burton. Now that would be cool.)

@marni71 Not much. Been sort of in and out myself. Bring on the TWSS.

@noveldoctor Steve, you are the Eyore of writers. (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish Yeah. Starbucks is my Cheers. And my office. And my social bordello: I purchase a drink in exchange for a barista's friendship.)

@noveldoctor You spent FIVE HOURS at Starbucks?

@n0spin Okay, it took me like 2 minutes to figure out what NP meant. Where is my low carb monster?

@shrinkingcamel You should wear it as a headband. That should make things interesting. (in reply to shrinkingcamel In board meeting all day today. Choking on the tie...)

Well, yes! As a matter of fact I AM still in my pajamas. Thanks for asking!

@Helenatrandom Sadly, Helen that's the LAST thing he needs...Hence the name Buddy Love (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Are you sure that your dog Buddy doesn't need Viagra? I've been hearing rumors....)

Dear Spam Commenters: Don't need viagra, meridia, or prescription drugs for my dog. But thanks for asking.

@unmarketing Yay me! (in reply to unmarketing @katdish awesome. i'm doing a parody song on people who correct spelling/grammar in public :) welcome to the video ;)

@unmarketing You and "me". You're welcome. (in reply to unmarketing @copyblogger people want to see you and I chatting. i've seen the research. But only you and I)

@billycoffey Oh, I'm the life of the freaking party! (in reply to billycoffey @katdish You are no fun at all.)

Walmart was educational. Who knew you could buy food for your ferret? http://twitpic.com/14r2lu


Hey people! Been at the Walmarts...Happy Monday!

@Becks_Beer Oh, well...Then I've totally made it! (in reply to Becks_Beer You ain't made it until you have at least two stalkers. FACT!)

Check it out. Kohls gave me my own parking space! http://twitpic.com/14ms4b


@beckfromfrogandtoad Daughter - he's MY dog! Why does he like you better? Me: Because I don't trap him in the laundry basket.

RT @beckfromfrogandtoad: "Nobody love me!" The Baby is currently sobbing. "Nobody will let me be mean to the cat!"

(She says piously...)

@CandySteele @buzzbyannies @janetober @coffeewithmarty @jamieworley @kenworley @weightwhat Don't you people have church in the morning?

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And that concludes this week's update. Sorry/you're welcome.