Thursday, November 19, 2009

It's the most wonderful time of the year...already



Oh, I know, I know...it's not even Thanksgiving yet and I'm already doing a Christmas post.

Editor's note: For those reading this outside the USA, Thanksgiving is an American holiday where we celebrate white guys in funny hats and knickers bringing disease and pestilence to the New World and stealing the land from the Native Americans. Some of us were raised to believe that this holiday was about being grateful to God for our blessings, but we stand corrected.

I also realize that there are some of you who will read this from atop your high horse because you're already finished with your Christmas shopping and will spend Black Friday sipping eggnog and stringing lights from your eaves. You people are annoying...

But for the rest of you slackers, I thought I'd give you a heads up in what seems to be the hottest trend in holiday decor at places that buy stuff the major retailers couldn't sell. It seems that since many retailers start putting up Christmas decorations before Halloween, someone got the crazy idea to combine the two holidays:

Scary Christmas!

For today's post, I will focus on decorations (even though I got some great gift ideas before I was given the stink eye by the store manager and thought it best to leave the store with my camera phone in hand.)

Question: What do you get when you cross Jolly Old St. Nick and the Bride of Chuckie?

Answer: This


That poor deer is a goner for sure!

But wait...there's more! Maniacal Mice!


and Sluggo the Snowman ("You talking to me?")


But it's not ALL evil, some of it is just...well...

What is this? Seriously...I know it's supposed to be a Christmas tree, but who makes something like this, stands back and says, "This is really good. Let's make a million of them."? #FAIL



On a brighter note, I did find a lovely "Holiday tree skirt". But just between you and me, I'm going to need to let it out in the waist a bit. Must be all the Halloween candy...

24 comments:

Bridget Chumbley said...

Those wannabe festive troll looking things on a stick are terrifying! I'll have nightmares now for sure.

I need all the help I can get because this year I am a total slacker!

Thanks for all the 'hot tips' (not to be confused with the Q-tips that tree is made of).

Stretch Mark Mama said...

Oh, hoo hoo hee hee haw haw haw!

Robin Arnold said...

Actually those trees would be perfect for a Dr Seuss Christmas theme...if you are a theme decorator...I used to be one back in the olden days.

I always wonder what the folks in ____ (insert foreign country) are thinking as they make the stuff for American export. Especially the first day the pattern maker brings in the specs and says, "Here, make this."

~*Michelle*~ said...

Great.....you have now given me the Christmas version nightmare of that old Anthony Hopkins' movie Magic that traumatized me for life.

And forgive my TMI.....but that tree looks like it is made from extra large tampons. *shudder*

Were all these found at one store?

This was great.....I needed a good laugh this morning.

Maureen said...

Bad, bad, bad!

Those little trolls have gone on the defensive. They're getting ready to put coal in your Christmas stocking, and they'll be off just as soon as they put the sleigh in high gear and find enough room for whatever that white thingy is. And watch out when down the chimney they come. They're going to make a mess of your place looking for all that stuff you were ranting about the other day.

I'm still laughing. . . . and, shhhh, be sure not to give out the name of that shop to any locals around the D.C. area. I don't want them getting any ideas. Members of Congress are sufficiently scary. Besides, we have our own version on the Mall every year. Have you ever looked closely at the decorations on the National Tree?

Jewda said...

Those Christmas trees look like puffy cheetos without the cheese.

Billy Coffey said...

Holy cow. Thanks in advance for all the future nightmares about demon elves and evil mice. Sheesh.

katdish said...

I wasn't going to say anything, but since Michelle broke spades with her comment, they YES. That's exactly what that tree looks like!

Wendy said...

So, was this at Tuesday Morning? Cause I'm wondering where I need to go to get my tampon tree.

SM Blooding said...

Oh, GADS! Make the horror STOP! Please. However, um, could you tell me where I could get Sluggo? He, um, would look cute on my mantel. And since we're not doing a tree this year...*grin*

Frankie

~*Michelle*~ said...

Glad I could be of service!

katdish said...

Frankie -- see Wendy's comment. Yes.

Marni said...

Those elves are freakin me out. Thanks.

And after Christmas, that tampon tree would could be put on a broom handle and used as a post-Christmas Swiffer.

~*Michelle*~ said...

sorry to keep crashing this comment section.....but this is hilarious.

......I am thinking that we might be seeing an infomercial soon with the "the tampon tree" and it's many uses. hmmmmmmmmmm.

katdish said...

Michelle,

Feel free to crash the comments section. It's pretty common around here.

Also? Ewh....

jasonS said...

Ah creepy and entertaining- much like our dear friend, Katdish. :) (you know I love you!)

You talking about wearing the tree skirt reminded me of Designing Women where Bernice wore one- that show was hilarious... I'm sure my liking this show sounds less than manly but whatever!

Tony C said...

I'm guessing...Made in China?

So this is how socialist view Christmas! Hmmmmm

♥ Kathy said...

posts like this are the reason I've missed you so much LOL *hugs ya*

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Just what are you supposed to use for a topper for that TamponTree? (please don't answer that)

Billy Coffey said...

Dang there's a lot of estrogen over here today...

Bradley J. Moore said...

What flea market in Houston did you go to? These are so wickedly hilarious! I am picturing you going wild with your cell-phone camera upon spying these evil delights, and rushing back to share them with the world. They are that good.

This should be a classic Katdish holiday post.

Beth said...

Yup. Classic Katdish. You had me at "You people are annoying..."

I miss blogs. Sigh.

Helen said...

Why pay money for a tampon tree, when you can make one yourself! Sometimes I forget to thank God for Google when I say my prayers at night. Bad me.

katdish said...

Ooo, Helen! Tampon crafts! Who says blogging isn't educational and fun?