Friday, October 2, 2009


The twitter is an interesting and informative place. I've connected with some great people, laughed and learned. For the most part, it has been a wonderfully enriching experience. And then there's this link tweeted by @redclaydiaries:

If you had the ability to grow your own meat and fish in a device that looks like something you’d buy off of a George Foreman infomercial, would you? The Cocoon is a concept cooker that grows meat and fish from heated animal cells. Weird.

While you are recovering from that horror, please enjoy the best (or not) of me on the twitter:

Okay, I'm done being smack talked on the twitter. Community is on! YAY!

@redclaydiaries Do you see how I'm joining in the conversation, as if you're NOT ignoring me at all...

RT @redclaydiaries: @weightwhat Keebler: Oppressing elves for 10 generations.

@weightwhat YESH! (in reply to: @katdish How about: VO5 Gel for Men - Holding down comb-overs for the last 50 years.)

I tweeted incorrectly earlier today....Please welcome @DougSpur to the twitter!

@redclaydiaries @HerbieGookins @weightwhat We should start the #FOTTSP Ad Agency! How's this: Volvo - They're boxy, but safe!

@BridgetChumbley You crack yourself up? That's always a good thing.

@WinLiannefield I HATE the money with the eyes! And how much money can they save you when they're spending so much on ads?

RT @SBeeCreations: @katdish What?! You're going to off some Brownies? Poor little girls //Ha! Missed that double meaning.

RT @HerbieGookins: @katdish I wouldn't off the Brownies. Could be some nasty legal repercussions...//Mwha, ha ha!

Off the Brownies! We're making (another) picture frame!

RT @Erinbeekeeper: Snuffy was just a total douche to Wolfgang on Sesame street. I wish he was still imaginary

@redclaydiaries Nekkid followers need love too. (in reply to: @katdish Leave it to me. I'll just use my massive social influence & tell them to follow you. Especially the nekkid ones.)

@redclaydiaries How will I find the kind of quality followers you have collected? (in reply to: @katdish Hey! I just noticed that you have 900 followers! Only (whatever 3890-900 equals) to go to pass me up!)

@HeatheroftheEO You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high. That's not so much an issue with me.

RT @HeatheroftheEO: The comments reminded me that I love wrogging (blogging/writing) -

@redclaydiaries What gets me is that someone would read "grow your own meat", & say - Hey! What a great idea!

@redclaydiaries I get a little confused with the states in the area known as "the ones in the middle"

RT @redclaydiaries: This isn't real, is it? If so, hold me. //OH THE HUMANITY!!!!

@buzzbyannies Roughing it for me is staying at a hotel with low thread count sheets. (in reply to: @billycoffey Roughin' it for me is dry camping in an RV. I'm slightly 'sissy-girl' that way. But don't tell anyone!)

RT @redclaydiaries: @billycoffey @katdish is in fact your spokesmodel, right?//Yes. K-mart offered, but they already have Martha Stewart.

@mare261 - Happy Birthday! (Even though I'm not even sure if you're on the twitter anymore

@redclaydiaries Did you notice how @billycoffey did not correct you even though you said he lived in WV and not VA? He's polite like that.

@HeatherSunseri I was like, "Who is @katdishsomething?

I don't kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, "Whoa! I'm way too high!"

When I'm around hard-core computer geeks I want to say, "Come outside, the graphics are great!" -Matt Weinhold

@br8kthru @Helenatrandom is adored by everyone. With the notable exception of Roman Polanski.

RT @br8kthru: @Helenatrandom your avatar is staritng to look a nascar car. :) //Okay, That's what I was thinking!

@CandySteele You mean like over the shoulder boulder holder? (in reply to: Just found a great bra for a patient called "The Last Resort." They could have come up with a kinder, gentler name.)

@Brian_Russell I think it is as impossible to prove He exists as it is to disprove. Faith is a matter of will. Deepdish katdish.

@RachelleGardner You should work on that. (in reply to: One of the hardest things about being an agent is that I can rarely explain exactly what makes me LOVE a book. Or not.)

Just to tell you, I have lemons on my avatar to support the fight of childhood cancer. I am not eating lemons. (Currently)

@br8kthru I'm a giver, Jason.

@br8kthru I'm revamping The Human Fund started by George Costanza. (in reply to: If you have a project or org. you are raising funds 4, please send me a DM or reply soon. I have an idea & would like 2 try 2 help!)

@VariantVal I've stopped correcting her, because she'll just say, "Well I like the way I say it better." She's stubborn like that.

My daughter is learning about the human body in her 2nd grade class. Did you know that the lungs work together with the DIAGRAM?

@redclaydiaries I am very excited that @charliewetzel enjoyed your birthday post so much. I'm considering facebook friending him. Too much?

@marni71 Thanks, Marni. Check out my avatar! Lemons - good! Num-num!

Support Alex's Lemonade, add a #twibbon to your avatar now! -

@Helenatrandom They may dress well, but they still smell like big, stinky birds. (in reply to: @katdish Good point...even their walk is rather arrogant!)

@Helenatrandom Lack of obedience? Plus they're way overdressed - A sure sign of arrogance. (in reply to: @katdish Why penguins are not as nice as robins....)

I heart hashtags!

If I wanted you to know, I'd be talking #SeeIToldYouSo

What are you thinking about? #QuestionsYouDontWantAnswersTo

Education: The next best thing to a record deal! #NationalSarcasmDay

@PeterPollock Obedience? You want ME to blog about obedience? Hmm....

@PeterPollock What's a blog carnival? Will there be clowns? I think I can speak for @billycoffey and myself when I say if there are, NO!

@PeterPollock Since I have no idea what you people are talking about, then yes. Yes I am.

@sarahmsalter Clean is such a relative term, don't you think Sarah?

@BridgetChumbley Wow, that's laying it on a bit thick, don't you think? But I like it...

RT @BridgetChumbley All hail the power of @billycoffey's pen, let twitterers prostrate fall, bring forth the wisdom on his blog and comment.

RT @bryanallain: I'm so hungry, I'm like the wolf #bryanishungry //Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do

Okay, I'll play...I haven't had my coffee yet. Don't make me kill you. #NationalSarcasmDay

RT @JanetOber: Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. #NationalSarcasmDay

@VariantVal Oh, well then. You should unfollow them. (in reply to: Not you, dear.)

I should probably go pray now...

@sarahmsalter Was Jerry Seinfeld your pastor? And what is UP with those tiny crackers? Is it bread? Is it a chicklet? (in reply to: @katdish That's better than the pastor I once heard who said "Hello?!" over and over again. "God loves us! Hello?! And Satan's bad! Hello?!")

@VariantVal Just throw the unfollow hammer down on them. Unless it's me, of course...

@sarahmsalter @makeadiff21 AMEN! And can I get an AMEN?

@sarahmsalter @br8kthru 's sermons are really good. He says AMEN alot.

@redclaydiaries Shaddup. (in reply to: @katdish Join me in yoville. I insist.)

Why must people INSIST on sending me yoville invitations?

Okay! It's naptime somewhere. And by "somewhere", I mean here.

RT @marni71: Come celebrate our Sarcastic Heritage...

Me: Mom, you need to get a flu shot/Mom: I know, I'm going to VCR Pharmacy to get one./Me: CVS?/Mom: That's what I said.

@marni71 You complete me, Marni (in reply to: @katdish That's why I'm here. To anticipate, to step in, to serve.)

RT @marni71: According to the Google, it's National Sarcasm Day! Did everyone buy gifts for the snarks in their life? //Oooo! Gimme!

@marni71 That is SO freaky! I was just going to mention that to @Brian_Russell (in reply to: @Brian_Russell Our good friend @katdish has a 12 step program whereby she ridicules you 12 times and then you stop...out of shame and fear.)

RT @pwilson: A little Monday reminder: "You are not in control." That's it. Now go back to work. //You're not the boss of me, Pete!

RT @billycoffey: @redclaydiaries For her. Not so sure it's a gift to the rest of us, though. //Again. Thanks so much.8:44 AM Sep 28th from TweetDeck

@redclaydiaries Are you responsible for my latest follower? Or did he follow me in a moment of weakness?

RT @billycoffey: @redclaydiaries I'm sure @katdish will take that as a compliment. She pretty much takes everything as a compliment./thanks!

@VariantVal "No job is too big. No fee is too big..."

@VariantVal Oh goody! Random quotes! How about this one: "Do you have balloons in funny shapes?" / "Not unless round is funny."

RT @VariantVal: I do not have time to watch a goat fetch soap... //Whaa???

RT @badbanana: I hope they throw the book at Roman Polanski and make him direct a couple of Transformers movies.

A get well haiku from my friends Jeff & Tam: Get better Kathy/At least there's no cone of shame/That would be awkward.

My dog smells like feet.

I've picked up more followers this week than usual. And I've hardly tweeted all week. Hmmm.....
@prodigaljohn OMGoogle! Your wife told you to man up at Disneyland? Stop! I'm dying laughing!

RT @prodigaljohn: "Man up." Words of "encouragement" my wife just gave me as we prepare to go on space mountain in Disneyland

@kates513 Congrats on your run today! I'm going to eat a celebratory bowl of ice cream in your honor.

This just in: I'm still sick (cough, cough) and goodnight.
Again, Sorry/You're welcome.


Helen said...

I really should follow @badbanana seeing as we agree on Roman Polanski.
I don't think I'd eat cellular meat.

bman said...

Meat puppets! Yay!

Heather Sunseri said...

You're starting to crack me up! I love your Twitter posts, and that meat thingie looks disgusting.

Heather of the EO said...

That meat thing is just...
I have no words.

And also, I love how you wrog.

Janet Oberholtzer said...

Meat puppets - ugh! Excuse while I go throw up ...

Billy Coffey said...

Oh man, I SO want a meat puppet right now. With meat on it.

Wendy said...

I think you've discovered a great Christmas gift idea for Candy. She's been looking for a way to grow her own meat.

Anonymous said...

Having trouble getting past the meat... :)

katdish said...


That's what she said.

jasonS said...

I love meat, and that's just plain scary...

I really need to stretch or something before I read these. It's a marathon but I always go into it like a sprint and burn out... :)

Beth said...

Oh the hilarity!!!
I laughed about 87 times reading this.

Meat puppets...ewwww. *snort* Ewwww.

Jewda said...

And people say that KFC's chicken is unnatural. If it didn't look like jewelry, it'd be gross.

And your TWSS to Bridget might be funnier than the entire post.