Saturday, September 5, 2009

Giving People the business and the handy, dandy toilet purse

Okay, sorry. I know I promised this yesterday, but the doggone non-virtual world was calling out my name. So, here we go. This week I thought I would be nice and post portions of conversations so you might better understand my tweets. THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN EVERY WEEK, so you might as well just follow all the folks I talk to or you will be completely lost.

Well, you may be completely lost anyway, but I digress...

This week I got on my cranky twitter ho soapbox a couple of times and then was pretty much silly the rest of the time. (Shocking - I know.)

So without further adieu, the best (and the rest) of me on the twitter:

@PuriChristos You could spell it like "O" "8" and then the other word for donkey. The kids would love that.

@PuriChristos What happened to my suggestion of "big honkin' building to do stuff in"? That's gold!

in reply to PuriChristos had a meeting 2day. I'm happy with the results. Looks like we are going with "Oasis" as the name for the Family Life Center.

@llbarkat thanks. I am the opposite of subtle.

@RachelleGardner but you're not MY agent! But I'm willing to hear your pitch.

in reply to RachelleGardner @katdish OK one more #pubtip: Leave your agent alone on a holiday weekend unless it's an emergency!

@HerbieGookins Because my children are crapaholics, that's why.

in reply to HerbieGookins @katdish You seem to be the undisputed queen of Why is that??

@HerbieGookins I LOVE the treasure box! I get rid of lots of and donate them to the school

@RachelleGardner Oh, just ONE MORE PUB TIP? Come know you want to...

in reply to RachelleGardner Computer is going OFF. I'm totally SERIOUS now.

Okay. I need chocolate...

RT @stretchmarkmama: @katdish I will smite you with the click of my mouse on the unfollow button! //YOU CAIN'T QUIT ME LISA!

@stretchmarkmama Don't start...Besides, your tweets are always redeeming and educational...or not

RT @stretchmarkmama: @katdish But what if someone tweets about getting 400 followers? Then will you unfollow? Or simply turn them into salt?

@PuriChristos I said people I don't know, Nick. You're safe (for now).

@weightwhat Yes, yes and yes. I'm going 300 on the twitter...

in reply to weightwhat @katdish Will we need the chair and whip today? Or the body armor?

@br8kthru Nah, just Low Carb Monster, and I'm unfollowing annoying people (that I don't know). So you're safe

Also if you tell me what a twitter rock star you are and you're actually being serious. Pull-eease!

Okay seriously people...If I'm following you and I see a tweet about how to get 1000 followers, Buh, bye!

I think I've reached a point in my life where I can tell the difference between nougat and cookie. #randomseinfeldquotes

The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. #randomseinfeldquotes

Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For? #randomseinfeldquotes

Serenity Now! Serenity Now! #randomseinfeldquotes

And you want to be my latex salesman #randomseinfeldquotes

I was in the POOL! #randomseinfeldquotes

The dingo ate your baby! #randomseinfeldquotes

@br8kthru That's what she said

in reply to br8kthru @katdish OOH, whatnot! It's been years since I've seen some good whatnot.

@br8kthru Yes. There will public denouncing and whatnot...

@TheBonnieGray I prefer "Her Royal Twitter Ho-ness"

AHEM! Also follow @billycoffey or I will viciously unfollow you!

@Helenatrandom Oops! Read that wrong....

@Helenatrandom How's that?

ATTENTION PLEASE!!!! Follow @helenatrandom or I will viciously unfollow you!

@br8kthru It was intentional. @helenatrandom & I have had this conversation before.

in reply to br8kthru @katdish okay, I think it's thingy, if singular and thingies, if plural. & did you spell 'miner' wrong on purpose? If so, gold!

@Helenatrandom But it's actually "thingie". You should know that, being an English miner.

@mabeswife CONGRATS! Awesome!

RT @mabeswife: Okay, my brother knows now so I cn spread the news. Attention: i'm having a baby. We R excited. Carry on abt yr business.

Oh, wait...there she is. Please disregard earlier rampage.

Where is @helenatrandom on my tweetdeck!?! Heads will ROLL, people! Get her back on here!

@JeanneDamoff Hee! Hee!

in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish Are we talking about "the business" again?

@JeanneDamoff're a giver.

in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish You're most kindly welcome. It brings me great joy to share the finer fruits of my English degree labors.

@arlenesg Dynamically clever? Ooo! Me likey!

@JeanneDamoff Thank you and I stand corrected.

in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish Fine speech. Excellent points. Editorial remark: I believe the accepted spelling (according to industry standards) is "thingies."

RT @godhasablog: @katdish Clearly. If it were, I'd have 837 billion followers. For sure.//Okay, @godhasablog agrees with me. How bout that?

Ahhh...I feel much better now

Again, LAME. Stepping down now...

And even if it is, your following is fake, because you don't give a hoot about your followers, you just care about numbers.

And frankly, I think that's LAME & you are completely missing the point of social media. It's not a popularity contest.

If you unfollow me after 24 hrs, then I know that you have one of those automated follow robot thingys.

New refollow rule: Unless I know who you are, I will wait 24 hours before I decide whether to refollow you.

Scuse me, folks. I'm fixin to get up on my twitter soapbox...

@marni71 Snort! How old are we again?

in reply to marni71 @katdish Oh it is SO happening!!

@marni71 Just tell her you're not going to be her BFF anymore. That'll show her.

in reply to marni71 @katdish Want me to go all junior high on her and give her the stink eye when I see her next?

@marni71 It hurts ya know? Being snubbed by one of the nicest people on the twitter. It's like I'm dead to @CandySteele

in reply to marni71 @katdish I feel ya. I was just trying to take the sting of rejection away...

@marni71 That excuse just isn't working for me...

in reply to marni71 @katdish Yeah, she totally snubbed you.

@CandySteele Okay, that last tweet where I was talking to myself? That's because you make me sad

@katdish And you mentioned @marni71 twice. I see how you are...

@CandySteele Are you ignoring me? You are, aren't you?

in reply to CandySteele @redclaydiaries @billycoffey @marni71 @marni71 out of the shower and off to work - have a great day all!

@marni71 This conversation is going from bad to worse...

Nothing like starting your day with talk of toilet purses and pocket protectors.

@redclaydiaries Um....ewh.

in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish So I shouldn't bring up my new idea: toilet pocket protector?

@redclaydiaries In your pockets. Okay, this conversation is grossing me out.

@redclaydiaries How about a toilet purse?

@CandySteele Morning Candy!

@BridgetChumbley I'm sitting in the carpool line cuz that's what social media darlings do on their off time.

@redclaydiaries Snort! Bet that woke you up this morning...

He's coming for you @redclaydiaries, and he looks angry...

Thank you alert DM stalker!9:51 PM Aug 31st from TweetDeck

RT @PuriChristos: @emptynestegg in man ways I am ambidextrous. I have wondered if I was suppose to be a leftie like my sis.//blog fodder!

@buzzbyannies Says @katdish, and I'm trying to write a blog post. Shhhh!!!!

in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish Says who?

@buzzbyannies Girl, you can't RT yourself!

@Brian_Russell Well get your geek on, Brian!8:40 PM Aug 31st from TweetDeck in reply to Brian_Russell Nerd alert: I have 3 web browsers, and used all of them in one sitting!

RT @CandySteele: @PuriChristos it's back to throbbing. Better today though.// fodder!

RT @MattTCoNP: @HeRockzDotCom Maybe Joel Osteen's prosperity gospel is the porn of Christianity...//Maybe?????

@billycoffey I'm only on my first cup of coffee, Coffey. Gimme a break.

in reply to billycoffey @katdish Ahem, shouldn't you be tending to a certain something for a certain someone?

@Helenatrandom Just as long as you promise to pick on him next week.

@billycoffey Oh, nobody likes a whiner.

in reply to billycoffey @katdish Helen likes me, obviously unlike someone else I know.

@Helenatrandom Why are you being nice to @billycoffey? It's really not necessary...

So, I'll see you sneaking off to unfollow me.

Oh, and thanks for all the new follows! As promised, I did a courtesy refollow. Now don't unfollow me, because I have

@weightwhat That's supposed to be "shameless self promotion". Gaaa!

Just added myself to the twitter directory under: #jesus #writerblogger #add #painter #shame

RT @CandySteele: @katdish I just got followed by @ihateyou99 I feel so special//LAWSOME!

DANG! I can't follow myself!

I need one more follower to break 800. Can I follow myself?

@PeterPollock I mean, that's unfortunate.

@PeterPollock What a bunch of losers...

in reply to PeterPollock @katdish They trawl for people they can follow then go back some time later and unfollow everyone who isn't following them.

@PeterPollock I don't get how these bots work.

I have 795 followers. My 800th follower will get (drum roll please......) absolutely nothing - except maybe a courtesy re-follow.

RT @JeanneDamoff: @katdish Especially when it comes to giving "the business."//that's what she said!

@JeanneDamoff you're such a giver.

in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish I'm thinking YouTube for free. I'm generous like that.

@JeanneDamoff You could probably get literally tens of dollars for that video on the black market.

in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish Okay, then. Take video.

@JeanneDamoff It's all or nothing, baby!

in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish Give it a try! Then let me know how it goes. (Without getting too graphic.)

@JeanneDamoff I have identified a location of a class, yes.

in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish Aw. Thanks! :) Did you find a zumba class to join?

@JeanneDamoff Sort of like me...

in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish "Giving me the business" ranks among my favorite phrases of all time. It's so full of meaning in a meaningless sort of way.

@JeanneDamoff I'm good, thank you. "Giving you the business?" Snort! That could have several meanings...

@RachelleGardner Horse poop is the great equalizer.

in reply to RachelleGardner If you ever start thinking you're "all that," I recommend an afternoon mucking stalls. Shoveling horse poop keeps you humble.

@JeanneDamoff I'm gonna sign myself up for a zumba class. It's been awhile since I publicly humiliated myself.

#FF @unmarketing and then follow his advice on HOW NOT TO BE ANNOYING ON THE TWITTER!

#FF - Follow me - because I put the asian in Caucasian.

Again...Sorry/You're welcome!


Nick the Geek said...

I think u tweet more in one day than most people do in a month.

katdish said...

Nick - depends on the day. I can get into the zone and fire off 100 tweets in a very short period of time.

Helen said...

You know, it I hadn't actually read some of these conversations on Twitter itself, I think I'd be more confused than with the single tweets.

I wonder if that's true of my twitter conversation posts, but I can't see it because I am too close to it...

Wendy said...

Oh thank Gumby! I don't know that I would have made it through the weekend without your twitter post. I barely even slept last night just worrying about it. All is right in the universe.

Billy Coffey said...

I agree with Wendy. The world's a little wobbly without my Friday dose of your wisdom and wit that is the twitter update. And now that I've successfully stroked you ego, I'll go.