Birthday Week on the Twitter

This week was Katdishmas, and because my dad, sister, son and daughter all have birthdays all clumped up right around mine, I've been celebrating by spending less time on the computer. Sadly, this means less time on the twitter as well. But I still manage to enrich lives and make the world a better place through the magic of social media.

Or not...

@PuriChristos @br8kthru And for the record, how do you know that @weightwhat and I aren't 484? We are shiny vampires.

@PuriChristos Well kudos to your gigantic head

@PuriChristos Dude. I paint and my dh is an engineer. I don't need no stinking math!

@br8kthru Curses! Math rears its ugly head again!

@br8kthru I figured you would be eating baby seal or polar bear.

@weightwhat I know - I don't look a day over 43 huh?

@weightwhat I'm 22 squared

RT @weightwhat: @br8kthru Beware the Belgian sandwich! That's not fancy bologna you're eating! (You are going to cause Belgium to invade)

@weightwhat How do you make a pretzel? I thought they grew on metal revolving trees.

@br8kthru Yes. And stop and get a pretzel on the way home. Tell them I sent you.

RT @ProfessionalOne: @katdish Sorry, I thought it was 8 crazy nights of Katdishannukah! My bad! (Snort!)

@ProfessionalOne Well, you should have marked your calendar. Katdishmas is a national holdiay

@ProfessionalOne You have yet to wish me a Happy Birthday. Still pouting?

This is the most amazing birthday poem I've ever received (also, the only one - but stil) Amazing: http://bit.ly/AzpIC

Wow. Already one o' clock and still I have not eaten any cake today? Must remedy that situation...

@br8kthru The hot pretzel is a rare and beautiful thing, no?

@br8kthru I'm taking my son to the mall. Does that count as excitement?

Halloooo! @helenatrandom, wherever you are!

@theBirthdayBot Why, thank you Birthday Bot!

@buzzbyannies And I forgive you for all the annoying emoticons, because I'm forgiving like that

@buzzbyannies Thank you Annie! Boz is SO stinking cute!

Happy Katdishmas Everyone!

Sheesh! I'm old now. Gotta go to bed...

billycoffey Look. I know what I'm doing. Just trust me. (Said the spider to the fly.)

@billycoffey Aw come on! Might be good for your platform...

@billycoffey Snort! Video! I want to see video!

@PeterPollock Makes sense. Most English names infer a profession (Blacksmith, etc.) Perhaps your kinfolk were fish mongers

@br8kthru I don't know...farging bastitches...

@BabySnooks I swear my laundry is mating and making new laundry.

@weightwhat I keep offering, but then @HerbieGookins starts threatening me with Indiana again.

@weightwhat I sent them to @muchl8r . They needed him to spread the fairy skank to Idaho.

@weightwhat When is Helen going to get her computer fixed? Priorities, Helen. Priorities!

What's you top Keyword Search? Bet it's not "Why Helen not buying me a chicken": http://bit.ly/WwDRb

It is katdishmas eve. Have you finished your shopping yet? There's still time.

@muchl8r Well grumpy ho good morning to you

@weightwhat Wow. @billycoffey is getting really pushy. Me thinks I've created a monster...

@weightwhat You'd have to cut me off at the knees and put stilettos on my bloody stumps for that to happen

@HerbieGookins Now see, our library is always so busy, so rather than bother them w/checking out the books, I just put them in my purse.

@billycoffey Now you're talking...

@billycoffey Yes. You have been neglecting your twitter ho diva friends

@marni71 Thanks. You know how I get...

@weightwhat You're welcome. Where do you get a Jesus beach bucket anyway?

@HerbieGookins Yes. Somebody's getting their cranky ho on this week at SCL

I REALLY hate snarky Anonymous comments. Cowards...

RT @prodigaljohn: The easiest way to ruin doing something you love is to do it as an attempt to please people who hate you.

Okay. I have successfully filled up the tweetdeck with my enormous head, so I guess it's time to get some shut eye.

@KevinMartineau Gotta love bacon.

@KevinMartineau I pink fuzzy heart Jim Gaffigan. Is he on the twitter?

@PeterPollock I KNEW I'd heard that word before! Jim Gaffigan! Caliente Pocket!

@emptynestegg Seems to be where it's starting. But I'm sure it will go downhill fast. It always does.

@PeterPollock What in the heck does "caliente" mean?

@weightwhat That's you. We always know what you mean.

@weightwhat I just thought of the scene where Joey says, "If you know what I mean", & someone else says, "We always know what you mean."

@weightwhat Did you ever watch "Friends"?

@br8kthru Impressive. My mother has a blackbelt in passive-aggressive behavior.

@br8kthru It typically goes back to stomach discomfort with @weightwhat, no?

@br8kthru Sounds to me like your fishing for a compliment. Which is incredibly adorable in a passive-aggressive sort of way.

@br8kthru Oh, Jason...shut up.

@weightwhat YESH! I would need more low carb monster in order to courtesy unfollow. I don't even unfollow people that unfollow me.

I've gotten 2 answers to a question I asked earlier. Problem is, I forgot the question...

@weightwhat Nah. I'm sort of like @tremendousnews in that I rarely unfollow because of my devastating laziness.

You should read this soon. After midnight, I'm posting something incredibly stupid: The Shine by @billycoffey http://bit.ly/goLGu

@weightwhat What? My refollow tweet, or the fact that I crack myself up?

@jewda4 No. You do not need that toy. You're a grown man. Buy a really expensive toy, like a sports car.

Also? I crack myself up.

Especially when I'm following them as a courtesy refollow. Sucktacular!

When I get a DM saying "thanks for the follow, I will follow you back!"

Okay, so you know what makes me feel like a super special follower? (No, do tell...)

@pwilson Does Crosspoint have a "gum budget" for you?

RT @pwilson: Huge Announcement: My new favorite gum is Orbit's raspberry mint. Yummy delicious. (ALERT THE MEDIA)

@jackalopekid I'm just giving you a hard time. It's what I do...

@jackalopekid You ask a lot of questions...

@ryanmer Goody!

@ryanmer Crap away

@ryanmer Yay! I expect an autographed copy, of course...

@ProfessionalOne And I never said YOU were boring, just your job...

@ProfessionalOne Katdishesque? That's a new one. Also have heard Katdishyness, but only in DMs.

@mabeswife I think my chances are slim to none. Mostly because I don't handle rejection well. Also? I can't keep my mouth shut.

Obviously, I have no chance of being a really great writer. Oh, well...

I have always noticed that in portraits of really great writers, the mouth is always firmly closed - Gertrude Stein

@weightwhat See there?

The Shine by @billycoffey (Have y'all read this yet? You really should...) http://bit.ly/goLGu

@weightwhat Shameless self promotion should always come first. Watch the master at work...

RT @weightwhat: Let's see... Toast, Nutella, milk, shameless self-promotion...http://bit.ly/6ZZw9

Okra Winfrey #grossicecreamflavors

@WinLiannefield Happy Birthday!

@joannesher Happy Birthday Joanne!

@redclaydiaries Yes. Also? Those jukeboxes make my computer angry.

Dear friends with juke boxes on their blogs: GAAAAAA!

@weightwhat Ahh....dirty word...

@WinLiannefield again with Belgians. Let's just beat that dead horse into the ground, shall we?

@weightwhat At this point, anyone following you should not be easily shocked or offended.

"Poop-free chicken waterers" - Gmail pop up ads, how I love you so!

RT @RachelleGardner: I asked a client 2 cut his MS by 15,000 words & it hurt me 2 say it. But he did an amazing job & the book is better

Perfection is such a nuisance that I often regret having cured myself of using tobacco - Emile Zola

Money is like love; it kills slowly & painfully the one who withholds it, & enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man.-Kahlil Gibran

"Beware of the man of one book." - St. Thomas Aquinas

Hallo Twitter! Miss me? Well miss me some more. Gotta go interface with the non-virtual people

@redclaydiaries Oh, it's always something with you, isn't it?

@godhasablog Thanks be to you for the follow friday! And thank you in advance for the great parking space at the mall.

As always, Sorry/You're welcome.