Saturday, July 18, 2009

Top Ten Things that your friend/signifcant other with ADD wants you to know, but keeps forgetting to tell you...(Repost)

Everybody and their brother thinks that they have ADD these days. You can't swing a stick without hitting 10 people who think that they would benefit from a prescription for Adderall, or at the very least, a significant helping of Ginko Biloba. But trust me, unless you have a green, "do not duplicate under penalty of law" prescription from your doctor, drink your Red Bull cafe latte and relax -- you've probably just got too much going on.

I, on the other hand, am the Tanya Tucker of Attention Deficit Disorder: I was ADD when ADD wasn't cool. I fancy myself a bit of an expert on the subject. Or at least, how it affects my relationships with the people in my life. I don't introduce myself as, "Hi, my name is Kathy and I have ADD". But if I enter into any type of meaningful relationship with another human being, I need to put that on the table. Otherwise, they end up getting pissed off or offended, or both. Please don't think I'm trying to make excuses for bad behavior. If I realize that I have been rude (intentionally or not), I deeply regret it and am the first to offer an apology and try to make amends. The problem is "realizing it" part.

I also recognize that there are people who think that ADD and ADHD are just made up conditions to excuse people with poor impulse control, bad manners and lack of discipline. I would invite these people to spend a day inside my head and then get back to me with their in-depth analysis. Good luck with all of THAT!

For those of you who have friends, family and spouses who suffer from this condition and choose to love us anyway, first let me say thank you. It means the world to us. You are the rocks of stability that anchor our crazy, mixed up lives, and I think God has a special place in heaven set aside for heroes such as you.

Now, on to the list:

  1. We don't mean to keep interrupting you. But if we don't tell you what we want to say, it's gonna fly out of our heads and be lost forever. And, by the way, it's really important!
  2. That comment we just made makes perfect sense. You just weren't in on the conversation we started in our heads a couple of minutes ago.
  3. When we tell you that something is going to take about an hour to complete, go ahead and add on the rest of the day. We suck at time management.
  4. Please don't ever send us to Wal-mart for just one thing. There's just way too many things to see before we get to the liquid detergent aisle.
  5. We're really not sure how a loaf of bread, a half gallon of milk and a few other things added up to 87 dollars, but we're pretty sure we needed that stuff. Okay, we already have 6 bottles of ketchup, but you never know when you're going to need lots of ketchup.
  6. We think it's really cool that you're good at complex mathematical equations, but please don't try to explain it to us. It's very overwhelming.
  7. If you need us to run more than one or two errands within an allotted time period, please make a detailed, step by step list of instructions, then staple it to our foreheads. And be sure to call us and encourage us while were attempting to accomplish aforementioned errands.
  8. If at all possible, do not allow us to handle the family finances. We will either drain the bank account by paying every bill as soon as it comes in, or will forget to pay any of them until we get the "red" ones.
  9. We are actually very forgiving of what we consider to be your OCD tendencies, and hope that you will return the favor when dealing with our shortcomings. (We're actually pretty amazed at what you are able to accomplish without any gnashing of teeth, and more than a little jealous.)
  10. We crack ourselves up. Seriously, we think we're hilarious. Please play along.

I'm sure you could add many more items to the list, but then it wouldn't be a "Top Ten". "Top 47" is not nearly as catchy! Since I like to add something about Jesus to my posts whenever I can, I'll share with you my favorite quote from Him. It plays inside my head whenever I mess up (which is pretty regularly):

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

(2 Corinthians 12:9)


Shark Bait said...

Interesting reading.

I especially liked number 1. Sounds very familiar (Not me, but certain other people I know) Always good to get a reminder. :-)

Nick the Geek said...

I like to think I don't have ADD but everyone keeps telling me I do. I know that "they" would have tried putting me on meds when I was a kid but I'm glad ADD wasn't over diagnosed back when I was in school.

I totally get ADD/ADHD is a real thing. I know how hard it can be for me to focus, but I also know I can survive without meds so I don't know just how bad it can be.

It bothers me that some people (mostly kids) get put on meds just because the parents and teachers are too lazy, busy, ... to help them. It bothers me because I know that there are many that really need to be on the drugs but since it is way over diagnosed and prescribed the ones that really need it end up getting lumped in with the rest and so many people think it is all a big hoax.

Peter P said...

"We crack ourselves up".

That says it all!

Tina Dee Books said...

I always thought I was ocd, but after reading, I'm not so sure, I fit the list.

I like the verse. I think I'll bathe in that today.

Lovin' ya, girl!

Nick the Geek said...

maybe you are ADD and OCD ... they balance each other a little so you end up looking halfway normal on teh outside while on the inside you are constantly in a huge war. The upside is you tend to get distracted so you enjoy life instead of going insane.

Tina said...

OK I love the whole list but really lolled at the OCD thing!! I've been telling my husband that I'm not ADD he 's just OCD for years!!! He doesn't buy it Ha!

Helen said...

I left a comment here hours ago, but it looks like it didn't take. That's a shame, because it was brilliant. I can't remember what it was, but I do remember it was brilliant.

Funnyrunner said...

Ah, yes. My mother in law started on the "our whole family has ADD" kick about 20 years ago. She thinks EVERYONE has ADD. Granted, her younger son (my brother in law) definitely DOES, and my husband has a touch of it, and so does my brother... and my Dad does, too. lol.

Yes - I could add to your list, but I won't.

Billy Coffey said...

I have to be honest and say that I doubted the reality of ADD until my wife started teaching. She'd come home with horror stories about some of her students, students who were then tested and helped and are now model students.

Sadly, not all of them get the help they need.

beloved Mama said...

Hey- my first hop over to your blog and I'm growing rather fond :o)

Tsbailey said...

These are great. As a 40 year old "you have so much potential if you'd just apply yourself" guy, I can relate. Ever read Gabor Maté's book "Scattered Minds"?

JML said...

I had a teacher try to put me on medication when I was in third grade. I later beat her son up for entirely different reasons. Anyways, I think this is over-diagnosed and it does make it more difficult for the people who actually suffer from it. ie, I was a little flippin' boy, I was supposed to be annoying!! Anyways, you're a bloody rockstar, and I enjoyed this post!

The Homefront said...

I love the list...I'm not ADD, but I *am* blonde, so I relate. (Honest, ask my family...I get a tug on the hair at least once a visit because of some idiot thing I did). Maybe it's 'absent-minded professor syndrome.'

At any rate, I love that you have a good attitude about something that I know can be so very frustrating.

Steph @Red Clay Diaries said...


Thanks! I actually needed this post. I don't know if I have ADD, but I do have to say the list seems very familiar. And it seems that I constantly fall short in the organizing/follow thru/focus areas of life.

I flit. And from what you're saying, I should be okay with that....? If so, PHEW. That's a relief.

JJ (Lady Di) said...

I finally saw this, I loved it. :) I like to explain it to people that it's like my ideas & thoughts are like cars on on the interstate at rush hour. They are all trying to get off at the same exit without meds, but when I take them they are still there, but they take different exits at least and it's not all at once. I actually have to take the Ritalin sometimes so I can sleep at night.

Heather of the EO said...

UH HUH. It's so nice to feel so understood :)

Really, you know what else? I saw MY MOM in every single one of these. I hadn't even realized...

and now there's me! I look back over my life and go, "OH, that's what it was!!!" I've always thought that my anxiety/depression issues were simply that. But I'm starting to understand how ADD plays into that.

I'll stop rambling now with my scattered thoughts :)