Thursday, July 23, 2009

Katdish: Enriching lives thru the power of Social Media

Seriously...I can't even type that with a straight face. Funny thing is, there are tons of people on the twitter who think that's exactly what they're doing. I know this because they tell you so in their profiles. Yeah...I don't follow them either. But if you follow me, and your profile says something profound like, "I like beets." Expect an immediate refollow!

Now here's the best and worst of me on the twitter:

@RachelleGardner Do you have any idea how many fat grams and calories one of those things have? (you're welcome.)

@weightwhat It's the price you pay for being a pacific time twitter ho.

@billycoffey Now Billy. I can't be groveling on the twitter. I'll send you an email.

@billycoffey Dang it! I may have to muster an apology for that one.
@billycoffey I'm multi-tasking. There's only so much katdish to go around. Wait you turn.

@br8kthru My car needs to be washed. Can you make it down here by five-ish?
@becca_homefront Good morning! And don't give @billycoffey your top 5. He's not the boss of you!

@WinLiannefield Oh, right. I thought it might be because you would set it on fire with your hawt-ness.
@WinLiannefield Good grief woman! Why would it have to be flame retardant? Do I even want to know?

@WinLiannefield Have you not heard? I'm currently working on a summer version: The Slankini

@Becks_Beer Can't you compromise? How about you holding a Beck's beer? Win-win.
@br8kthru Good morning, and thanks for nothing.

@CandySteele So, you're not a ho?

@CandySteele What does that mean? IMHO? You know what I think it looks like it means, right?

@billycoffey Are you having a side of Haterade with that sweet tea, Billy?

RT @bryanallain: RT @billycoffey There's nothing better than starting my day with the Yankees in first place. // ANGRY. (Bitter Bryan?)

@BridgetChumbley Only those who are excessively obnoxious. @weightwhat & I both qualify.

RT @weightwhat: @katdish - I'll read your blog post if you read mine...

@weightwhat what is this a hostage exchange? Okay, but then I gotta go to sleep.

@Helenatrandom @weightwhat SWEET FANCY MOSES! It's wall to wall Wendy and Helen! Is there a 12 step program for twitter?

@buzzbyannies Oh, Annie! Don't sell yourself short. You'd make a much scarier pimp than I would.

AHEM! Please welcome and follow @becca_homefront. She's our kind of people (Oh, I mean that in a good way)

@PuriChristos @Helenatrandom I owe my inspiration to @pwilson, whose wife still proudly wears the lowly cousin of the Skymall Slanket.
@joannesher A year's supply of yeast for me could be contained in a 12 ounce can of Budweiser.

RT @TheBloggess: Also, I apologize for that last tweet being extraordinarily not funny. I'm dangerously sober at the moment.

@weightwhat @Helenatrandom My sister's first comment was "I thought yeast was something you want to get rid of". (Yeah - we're related)
My sister lost on Wheel of Fortune, but got a year's supply of yeast #lameclaimtofame
@weightwhat No! (secret service) But George was looking at them like, "Hello.....crazy lady at 12 o'clock!"

I used to tell people I was named after Katherine in the bible, until I was informed that there wasn't one #lameclaimtofame

I ran into George and Barbara Bush coming out of a Houston eatery (literally RAN INTO THEM) #lameclaimtofame
@pwilson Just spreading the love Pete. Just spreading the love...

@CandySteele @PuriChristos @marni71 A snuggie is a sort of "meet in person" gift. Isn't that right @redclaydiaries?

I gave @pwilson 's wife a snuggie. #lameclaimtofame

My brother was a stunt surfer in the movie "Point Break" #lameclaimtofame

I saw Don Johnson playing baccarat at Caesar's Palace and he was wearing his Sonny Crockett wear #lameclaimtofame

I went to a party hosted by Shelly Long's brothers #lameclaimtofame

@CandySteele Wow. That is impressively lame.
Okay, I'll play. Met (the actor) who played Peter Brady at a nightclub in Houston. #lameclaimtofame

Authenticity is vital. If you can fake that, you're golden.

@PeterPollock Is that what you had in mind Peter?
Our church plant understands the concept of #bethechurch. Mostly because there don't be no building.

New hashtag: #bethechurch

@lizzyarmentrout You're welcome. Now go trash a hotel room somewhere to celebrate.
@Helenatrandom as long as your not buying the meat product that shall not be named...
@lizzyarmentrout You're such a rockstar!
@WinLiannefield Ooo! What day? My birthday is also coming soon, also more commonly referred to as katdishmas.

@billycoffey Oh, I know everything. Haven't you figured that out by now?

@billycoffey Aren't you glad someone bullied you into getting on the twitter? Who was that anyway?

@billycoffey How completely ambiguous! How much is that word worth in Scrabble?

@PeterPollock I'd ask you to put me on your blogroll, but I wouldn't want you to get excommunicated or something.

@muchl8r Oh, I'll rule just about anywhere they want me to. Except for France. Those people don't have the courtesy to speak English.
@billycoffey That was freaking awesome! I see you have learned from me the art of being subtle.

RT @billycoffey: @PeterPollock I really like that, Peter. Very nice. Now put me on your blogroll.

Is there a pesky fly on my tweetdeck? Oh, no. It's just @PuriChristos

@muchl8r I'll gladly take the east. And for the record, I'm from the southeast originally. I'm pretty sure they miss me.

@muchl8r Congrats, Jake. I think "Supreme Commander of the Western Hemisphere" looks good on a business card.
@PeterPollock What am I, the social director for the internet? Candy, Annie, Marni and Billy were here a bit ago.

@billycoffey They're like the high brow cousins of the lowly donut.

@CandySteele Funnel cakes are pretty fascinating, huh?
There is no Tom. "Tom" is short for tomorrow. Please ignore my obnoxious friends. I know I do...

@Helenatrandom @weightwhat Hello and goodnight! Sorry I missed out on all the umm....whatever.

Also? @PuriChristos @redclaydiaries SHUT UP ALREADY!

It's finally up (no thanks to all the DMs, people!) Entitled (ironically) Keep your Focus:

shrinkingcamel Do you have something against Texas? Choose your words carefully, Bradley.

If you follow me, and I follow me back, I really don't want to know how to get 1000 followers via your lovely direct message.
I am ignoring @PuriChristos , I am ignoring @PuriChristos

@PuriChristos Sheesh! You're the little brother I never wanted, Nick!

@PuriChristos Tom? Wha, huh?

I am writing a post for tom. that combines Stephen King, scrapbooking, and ADD. Yes, I know - riveting.

Where are @ofmercy, @billycoffey, @peterpollock? I feel the need to make someone uncomfortable #BecauseKatdishCannotAmuseHerself

RT @weightwhat: Look! I'm juggling! #BecauseKatdishCannotAmuseHerself

@weightwhat Just to be annoying and encouraging all at once. I dig that.

@weightwhat @Helenatrandom Y'all need to start a new trending topic. Amuse me...
@weightwhat Sorry I'm just now hearing of your accident. Apparently, I'm not that big a deal...
@Helenatrandom Oh, so Smurfette gets a personal email about @weightwhat and I get NADA? Fine!

@billycoffey has a new button to grab on his blog (Beach Blogger Billy - action figure in production)

@weightwhat I guess you're right. Family and personal hygiene be damned!

@weightwhat I'm sorry - WHEN DID YOU GET IN A CAR ACCIDENT???????????

@br8kthru Oh, I'm the same way (sort of). I don't stay mad at people, unless they mess w/my family or friends. Then look out.
@PuriChristos You live to annoy me, don't you?
@br8kthru Curses! Blasted empathy rears it's ugly head again!
@weightwhat @Helenatrandom Would y'all please stop talking in German? I can barely understand you in English.12:20 PM Jul 20th from TweetDeck

On a related note, would anyone like a body pillow stuffed with cat hair?

Wow. I just brushed my cat with one of those new pet combs. No wonder he has hairballs.
@elliefoley912 Thanks for the follow. Just what I wanted to see today. You butt on my computer. @spam.
RT @annalisa2: Whenever stumbleupon shows me something I already twittered about, I smile smugly at my own awesomeness.
I forgive you @muchl8r . Commence breathing again.
@muchl8r You're dead to me, Jake. DO YOU HEAR ME? Dead.

@muchl8r SLACKER! But you wrote a post this week, so I guess I'll let it slide.

@marni71 YAY! Although, you know you should just move down here and join my freaking awesome church.
@ProfessionalOne YOU CAIN'T QUIT ME MICHAEL!!!!!

@ProfessionalOne Fascinating! (yawn...) Just kidding...(sort of)

@lizzyarmentrout I'm the Tanya Tucker of ADD. I was ADD when ADD wasn't cool...
@ProfessionalOne So what does your company do?
Ahhhh, I crack myself up.
@DishHost - Have your people call my people...

@DishHost - So, what's this show about? katdish is one of my nicknames, Dish is another. So I would basically already be DishHost.

My daughter just told me that the dog smells like a dead pig. How does she know what a dead pig smells like?

RT @asilannax: I'm leaving on a jet plane (charter bus) Don't know when I'll be back again (next Saturday)

Do you know that I have a cat following me with over 6,000 followers? It's a CAT, people!
@ProfessionalOne Well, silly! My name is katdish! Or Kat, or Kathy, or Her Royal Twitter Ho-ness.

@bryanallain Just trying to do my part to enrich lives through the power of social media
Follow @katdish, because she will RT you every time you mention her name.

RT @bryanallain: Follow @katdish because no matter how much you twitter, she'll make you feel like you're barely ever on it

Follow @JeanneDamoff . She's like me...only classy.

@PeterPollock Subtle, no?
@MichaelHyatt Also goes to show you that I know a good book when I read it - just saying...

@MichaelHyatt Oh my gosh! That's one of my favorite books! Just goes to show you - you never know.


Anonymous said...

Your posts always "entertain" and seeing them like this is even more fun! Think of what we'd be missing without Twitter in our lives?! How does the saying go? Thank you/Sorry....LOL

Lianne said...

I made the list! Yay/Uh oh. : )

Wendy said...

It's like Twitter was invented just for us, isn't it? Thanks Twitter! I love you man!

Helen said...

"My sister lost on Wheel of Fortune, but got a year's supply of yeast #lameclaimtofame"

Thank goodness for Wendy, and her ability to find the joke. Good times, good times...

Annie K said...

No idea where I was this week. Apparently not on twitter...!

Billy Coffey said...

I find comfort in the fact that if writing books never makes me famous, I can always fall back on your weekly twitter posts. Everyone needs a goal, right?

L.L. Barkat said...

You like beets?

Me too. But this doesn't change anything. I already follow you. :)

Joanne Sher said...

I was notified of this through my google search. I'm actually pretty thrilled, since I've only been a twit for a couple weeks. (officially, anyway!)

Always FUNNY, as usual.

Jeanne Damoff said...

Yay! I made the katdish twitter recap, I'm classy, and I, too, like beets. Sometimes I marvel at the wonderful serendipity of life. (This is not one of those times, by the way. Just thought I'd share.)

jasonS said...

Nice... and long! Does anyone really have time to read all of these? Your title is amazing- I did chuckle.

You are a bright burning light of random wit and inappropriateness on twitter and I applaud you. Yes that is a huge compliment! :)

Rebecca on The Homefront said...

Oooh, how do you like your beets?

And my goodness, I made the Week in Tweets? I may faint....probably from hyperventilating after laughing too hard at these tweets, even I've seen most of them already.

What did I do before the day before yesterday, when Katdish introduced me to Twitter?

Nick the Geek said...

I did much better this week. Annoying katdish seems to be the key to getting more mentions. This is excellent news ... for me.

Nick the Geek said...

almost forgot till I was over at Helen's blog. Thanks for reminding me katdish

So who is Tom? Why ru being so elusive about this? Why would we want to drop it? You kept poor Candy suffering for saying something about moaning. Does that have anything to do with Tom?

Beth said...

Wow, I was gone all week but I could catch up in minutes and laugh my way through. Amazing this world of technology we live in...

Shut Up said...

There's a certain arrogance to posting the 'best' things you've tweeted all week.

It always makes me smile to read through some of the things that have come out of that wonderful brain of yours in the past six or seven days!