Twitter Ho Powers: Activate!

This week, I read a few comments on a couple of blogs suggesting that Twitter is a waste of time. If you make it through all the tweets here, you will find a few tweets and RT's concerning my friend Jason's mom, who was rushed to the emergency room. Say what you will, there were an awful lot of prayers going up very quickly for Jason's mom and her family. That is a very good thing, indeed. Okay - off my soapbox.

So...it occurrs to me those of you not on the twitter may not really "get" these posts. Honestly? I'm okay with that. These posts are primarily for my own amusement. (Hey, sort of like the twitter!) But just cuz I'm a giver, I'm going to post an entire conversation so you can follow along (You're welcome.) Just to tell you, you need to read it from the bottom to the top, because I'm too lazy to move it all around and whatnot. Enjoy:

Me: @ofmercy Okay...turning off the twitter. Talk amongst yourselves...

Me: RT @billycoffey: @ofmercy I gotta say @katdish has made me who I am as a blogger. Just don't tell her that.

Billy: @katdish Guess that one will make next Friday's Twitter post, huh?

Jon:@billycoffey It will be our little secret... (@katdish - no listening in! ya hear!)

Jon: @katdish re: (You're dead to me, Jon.) I know you don't give up that easy...

Me: @ofmercy You're dead to me, Jon.

Jon: @billycoffey Thanks; if I were a betting man re: U vs. @katdish - well, Billy has my vote... HA!

Me: @billycoffey @ofmercy Oh, stop! (Or not...)

Billy: @ofmercy I gotta say @katdish has made me who I am as a blogger. Just don't tell her that.

Me: @ofmercy and speaking of me, did you know that @billycoffey writes a guest post on my blog every Monday. You should check it out.

Billy: @ofmercy You're learning quick, Jon!

Me: @ofmercy Now you're getting with the program!

Jon: @katdish You're still the best! :-P

Jon: @katdish Soooo forgot... it's all about you! ;-P

Me: @ofmercy Yes, but enough about @billycoffey 's write up, we're talking about roller hockey.

Billy: @ofmercy Wow, thank you. I really appreciate that!

Jon: @billycoffey I read your blog entry In Praise of Fathers. Outstanding! Thanks for that entry. I was moved... and AMEN!

Billy: @katdish Mmm-hmm. Thought so.

Me: @billycoffey Yeah, well...Okay. I'm not even gonna go there...

Billy: @weightwhat Low blow!

Wendy: @billycoffey - I don't think so... She might even be wearing a blue shirt with a fancy emblem on it when she does it.

Billy: @weightwhat She would shrink from my manliness.

Wendy: @billycoffey - Bony or ashy, she'll take you out.

Me: @billycoffey @weightwhat is totally making that up. I do not have bony elbows. They are a bit ashy right now, though...

Wendy: @billycoffey - Watch it! I hear @katdish has really boney elbows. She'll definitely take you out!

Me: @billycoffey I bet you a dollar that is one sport I could beat you at. I'm a fairly awesome roller skater.

Billy: @katdish I could do me some roller derby.

Billy: @katdish @weightwhat Oh, come on! You two just don't dig Michelle Pfeiffer. That's some quality acting

Me: @billycoffey What @weightwhat said...

Billy: @weightwhat Yes, it's her acting. Sheesh.

Wendy: @billycoffey - Are you sure it's her acting you're digging?

Me: @billycoffey @weightwhat Roller derby is also on...

Wendy:@billycoffey - I want you to pick up the remote and change the channel. I'm doing this for your own good. Surely Deadliest Catch must be on.

Wendy:@katdish - I think @billycoffey needs to be saved from himself.

Me: @weightwhat Twitter ho telepathy: ACTIVATE!

Wendy: @billycoffey - No.

Me: @billycoffey No, just you Billy...

Billy: Anyone else actually think that Grease 2 really isn't that bad?
================================================

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter:

@Brian_Russell How about, "If it's not one thing, it's your mother?" Works for me.

@MichaelHyatt Feel free to quote me.

@asilannax Oh wait...@tremendousnews is already following you.

@asilannax Oh, man! Bring on the creepy followers after that tweet!

@marni71 Do I need to come up there and crack some skulls? I will, you know.

@Erinbeekeeper I suck at math, but even I can figure that one out.

RT @MarketerMikeE: “You’re boring. That’s why people are ignoring you.”– Seth Godin, marketing guru

The 2 preceding tweets were brought to you by my friend Sherri the smurf and twitter snob.

The extremely creative are usually very unsettled as it overshadows every aspect of life and others around them have no clue. - Sherri

I think the creativity w/in doesn't really give us a choice. It's always there & bursts through regardless of how we try to contain it.

If you're not already, you should follow @asilannax She's like me only funnier and younger.

@llbarkat You understand French? I'm impressed. It's all Greek to me.

@marni71 Aw, bummer! You should get a girly pedicure. Works every time.

@Helenatrandom Thanks. Kinda like me - profound yet simple.

@weightwhat Yes, and we're not even finished yet. Sometimes it sucks being me.

@weightwhat Thanks. I'm gonna need to be an extra low carb monster twitter ho today

@ofmercy I have friends that play instruments, but that doesn't make me a musician. Just saying...

@br8kthru So glad to hear that. I've been praying, but a little worried, if I'm being honest.

Only 2 more hours to question @bryanallain 's masculinity!:

Decided to put mousse in my hair and let it air dry. Ann Wilson circa 1980 - Eat your heart out!

@weschicklit Thanks Chicky! One vote for incessant rambling

Serious post tomorrow or incessant rambling?

@katdish Bryan is dangerously close to being Brianne. Id be glad to take him under my wing, kind of like a Big Brother program, if he wants. (via @docawesome)

RT @chrissulli: Shameless self promotion? i learned from the best. http://bit.ly/2vQq1z New blog post

RT @PuriChristos: I use to love Disney but it was never intended to be visited with ur in laws. Much like heaven.

RT @tremendousnews: Oh, you de-greened your avatar? Cool. I guess freedom and hope is so "yesterday" for you.

@DocAwesome Do you think there's any hope for @bryanallain ? I have my doubts.

I am going to start tweeting Matt's FB status, so he's on the twitter whether he likes it or not. (Insert evil laugh here.)

FB RT: Matt Appling can't believe we have electricity so soon after that microburst snapped our utility poles in half.

@badbanana I was not aware that Ben Franklin ate hot wings or used the word ginormous. Your tweets are so educational!

@mabeswife No, glowing because it's hotter than...whatever the hottest thing you can think of!
Still cleaning out the garage. I'm glowing, I tell ya! Glowing! (in a dirty, stinky, feel like I'm going to vomit sort of way.)

@bryanallain Oh, you're so adorably manly when you talk ghetto, Bryan.

@BenArment You've probably been reading that pesky bible too much!

Okay, time to go sweat to death....

@annalisa2 You're incredibly sarcastic. I dig that.

@mabeswife low carb monster, low carb monster, low carb monster & venti cafe americano.

@redclaydiaries The only time it's not the heat of the day in Houston is at night.

@billycoffey Yes. I'm praying for @bryanallain in hopes that he gets his man card back. Not looking good, though.

@redclaydiaries I am looking forward to cleaning out the garage with my dh. Did that sound at all convincing?

@redclaydiaries I didn't realize you needed an excuse to drink. Good morning!

Now following @spam. Hope it helps with all the skanky ho follows.

@xjkradicoolx Nah, her mouth is full.

Does ANYONE know where I file a complaint about a follower? Please? @hornygirl559, you are going DOWN! (and not like in your avatar!)

@redclaydiaries Oh, don't sell yourself short, Steph. You're plenty lame.

@redclaydiaries "Grocery store sushi is the best?" You really need to get out more, Steph!

This is REALLY starting to piss me off. And you don't want to do that. Trust me.

Dear Twitter: Do you want to tell me how "Christian, working mom of 3" has a lovely profile pic when I follow, only to go pornographic?

Does eating sushi lose some of its appeal when it's purchased at the grocery store and eaten whilst making kids ham sandwiches?

@muchl8r Hey Jake! How's my favorite cranky ho this morning?

@MarketerMikeE Okay, you know what would be funny? If one of those twitter robots RT'ed your last tweet.

RT @MarketerMikeE: Don't automate anything. People are looking for something real. Don't automate anything. People need authenticity.

Matt throws me (and twitter) under the bus. Please go rant incessantly on his blog. http://bit.ly/2gMnPP

We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always respect their good judgment. - Libbie Fudim

@HerbieGookins Thanks, Beth. I didn't need that.

@buzzbyannies Twitter potty mouth!

@buzzbyannies You are such a mean mom. You inspire me!

Good Morning, @HerbieGookins , wherever you are!

@CandySteele Please forgive all the typos in your comments section. Apparently, my "f" key is sticking.

RT @br8kthru Thanks for the prayers Mom is doing much better. We had to MedEvac to Anchorage she's waiting on further tests. Thanks so much

Please welcome @Kenzi_Wilson , @buzzbyannies daughter to the Twitter! Now, when is Boz getting an account?

Has anyone heard from @br8kthru since yesterday?

Try that again: Matt @ The Church of No People is giving me grief about the twitter. Please go set him straight. http://bit.ly/2gMnPP

@buzzbyannies This could get ugly...

Well, I've had just about all the excitement I can stand for one day. Gotta go. Night!

RT @bryanallain: Want 250 brand new followers every day??? Take some Lunesta and dream about it, because it's the only way it's happening.

Dear Icky Followers: Please direct your friends to @weightwhat.

@weightwhat You know, if you were really committed to being an icky follower, you would spell out PCB.

@redclaydiaries You mean like monkey butts?

@redclaydiaries Yeah, get off the twitter, woman! (TWSS)

RT @tremendousnews: Twitter is over capacity! Nobody cares what level you're at in Spymaster.

@tylerstanton There are a host of reasons you could be considered a slacker. Watching the open is just one.

Going for a swim with my daughter again. I gotta get me one of these fancy cement ponds at my house!

And when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. - Victor Hugo

Have courage for the great sorrows of life & patience for the small ones;

@Helenatrandom Even if you did copy katdish, it would be completely Helen. Which is why you are awesome.

RT @jewdacris4: i like salad (An economy for words)

@br8kthru Praying, Jason. Hang in there.

RT @br8kthru: My mom is going to the emergency room right now- don't know exactly what's going on. Would appreciate your prayers- thanks

@JeanneDamoff Um, yeah. I think that little chat the other night will make the twitter update.

@marni71 I'm sure it's just a rash. Good morning!

@ofmercy Good morning Jon. I have forgiven you. I know you were holding your breath...

Is anyone else have trouble with the twitter this morning? (TWSS)

Hallloooo Twitter! I've missed you so!

Going to hear Vince Antonucci preach at Gateway in Austin this morning. How awesome is that?

Happy Father's Day! Whose your daddy?


@PeterPollock Tell ya what. (I'm ignoring you, @billycoffey) If it's up by midnight standard time, I'll link it. If not, I'll add it later.

@PeterPollock When are you gonna be done? I'll link it tomorrow, cuz that's what I'm doing tomorrow.

@billycoffey I meant besides Billy Coffey

@redclaydiaries You should probably pretend you don't know me...

@redclaydiaries Yeah. Thanks. I'm sure publishing houses will be busting my doors down any day now.

@redclaydiaries Thanks, Steph. You're no help at all, as usual.

Anyone write a really good Father's Day post?

Sitting out by the pool with two very good manuscripts enjoying watching my daughter swim.

@buzzbyannies Look. I gotta go with my Asian roots on this one. Jet kicks butt! Yes, Chuck is from Texas, but still.

Bessie Higginbottom is one of my life coaches. Don't judge me...

@Mels_World Are you kidding me? Half the population of suburbia is at Home Depot on Saturday morning. It's the law.

@billycoffey Ah, yes. The preservation of your man card. We all have our crosses to bear...

@asilannax There's no shame in knowing sappy song lyrics from the 70's!

@asilannax I don't know when. But we'll get together then, son. You know we'll have a good time then!

@asilannax and the cat's in the cradle with a silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon, when you coming home dad?