Friday, June 5, 2009

Love it, Hate it - It's the Friday Twitter Update!

Well here we are again, people! It's Friday, so it must be time for the long awaited Twitter update. Now, you high brow people can pretend to look down your nose at me, but I happen to know that Friday is one of my biggest traffic days. So, either you enjoy judging me or you enjoy my updates. Either way, I'm cool with that. This is purely for my own enjoyment. As always, backward order, most recent first. As always, I am THAT lazy.

AHEM! The best of me on Twitter:

And by "majestic birds of prey", I mean buzzards eating what might be my neighbor's cat.

Working on tomorrow's post featuring majestic birds of prey.

@docmarkelliott "passive income on twitter"? What about passive-aggressive income? My mom would be all up in that!

Whaa, huh? I have over 300 followers? You people have horribly low standards.

@mabeswife What is Earth 2100? I'm not a geek. I just seem to attract them.

Okay, really leaving now. finish work!

Could the end times be near? Me thinks, yes.

Katdish featured on High Calling Blogs:

@PuriChristos "Weird" is a relative term, no?

@llbarkat Yes, well. It' good to have goals. (Or so I've been told)

@br8kthru Now, Jason...I couldn't have a twitter update w/o you in there somewhere!

@shrinkingcamel Oh, thank you Bradley. I'm completely undeserving, but I'll take it.

@goodwordediting Ooooo! Are you kidding me? I really AM pseudo famous! YAY!

RT @badbanana: To me, the glass is half full. Yes, of doom and despair, but still.

Thinking of a blog post tomorrow. Gonna be short and sweet. I have buzzard pictures.

I know it's not Friday, but follow this chick. She is stinking hilarious!: @asilannax

RT @asilannax: Verbal irony: it's a diplomatic way of using the word "sarcastic"

@pwilson Are we having hair issues this morning, Pete?

@blogomomma Er, yeah...Great voice. That too.

@blogomomma and thanks for the heads up on dirty rocker Chris Daughtry! My first celebrity follow. I luv me some Chris Daughtry!

@blogomomma Oh yes. Tres ghettofabulous!

@pwilson Seriously, dude. How do you stay so thin? You're ALWAYS eating!

@blogomomma You are so ghetto for a white woman.

@Helenatrandom Ewh, ewh, EWH!

@buzzbyannies Don't hate me because I'm irresponsible and lazy. There's so much more to hate me for.

Follow my friend @muchl8r. He's my favorite cranky ho.

What the heck? How did I get so many followers so quickly? I'm sure I'll cause someone to unfollow. The day is young!

@PeterPollock I did not mention Osteen to bring in more followers, but it did. Let me repeat: NOT A FAN!

And now I really need to get off the twitter (that's what she said) Goodnight!

Dear New Followers: Thanks for the follow, really. But I think you need to know, I am NOT a fan of Joel Osteen. Not. At. All.

@xjkradicoolx No, I'm not @billycoffey. He's a real live Virginia redneck that happens to be an excellent writer

Okay, goodnight twitter! Gotta get a few hours shut eye so I can enrich all your lives tomorrow!

Okay, swear - last time I shamelessly self promote myself (until tomorrow)

@CandySteele No! Twitter stole your twitter button! Farging Bastitches!

@ofmercy It's not ironic. I happen to have been awarded an honorary man card. Therefore, I can go there.

@chrissulli Ooooo! "To Katdish - you complete me. Love, Dr. Keller" (or something like that.)

So, you think you're a man, huh? Check THIS out:

@Helenatrandom I'm here, but only long enough to shamelessly self promote my blog. Then I gotta go to Target.

@Brian_Russell You should get that cookbook 101 Ways to Wok a Dog.

@CandySteele No. Stupid, stupid twitter buttons!

@muchl8r Well eat something already!

@chrissulli I know, right? You're working on that autograph from Dr. Keller for me aren't you?

@br8kthru as if your dork card was ever in question, Jason!

RT @tremendousnews: Don't worry. I'll never unfollow you. Not because I find your tweets valuable, more because of devastating laziness

@jewdacris4 Please clarify. You hate Mondays, or you hate all of us, or both?

RT @muchl8r: For the record, i am NOT the rain cloud that makes mean little animals. Get off it!
RT @jasonboyett: if at first you don't succeed, maybe you shouldn't be a tattoo artist.

@allofcraigslist I stand corrected.

@pwilson - for the record, that post was written by @billycoffey, not me. Although I am freakishly strong for a girl.

Go buy this book:

@redclaydiaries I am simply attempting to enrich lives thru the power of social media. Also, I'm a twitter ho

@CandySteele @redclaydiaries I've got more half written posts than you've had hot meals.

@bryanallain I hope you include teenagers mauled by bears. One of my personal faves.

RT @TimMoore: Reminder - Twitter isn't Craigslist. :-) (Um, yeah - exactly)

@redclaydiaries I'm not manic. I just have my low carb monster groove on!

@CandySteele @redclaydiaries You're both slackers, and good morning Steph!

@weightwhat because you're a twitter ho. Good morning ho!

@tremendousnews Based upon the number of new followers, your dinner has been upgraded to Hobbit Cafe from Whataburger.

Alright. Gotta go do some mindless painting. Another day another...oh I forget how much I'm charging for this job.

@tremendousnews and for whatever it's worth, I mostly only RT your tweets. Consider yourself special.

@tremendousnews thanks. I big red monkey butt heart you!

RT @tremendousnews: Follow @katdish. She RTs pretty much anything. How much you wanna bet she'll RT this as well?

@pwilson If the cops break up your golf game, you might be a redneck.

@candysteele, @helenatrandom, @redclaydiaries, @weightwhat, et. al. - What's up? I am trying to stay off the twitter - need intervention

Going to the mall. Not looking forward to it. Friday night = mall gangstas

So I'm getting all the friend requests on facebook from people that think I'm really nice. Time to wrap that account up.

@JC_the_saviour Also, I would never make fun of you. This was a Jesus Cheeto. Very different. Have you seen the Jesus frying pan?

@JC_the_saviour Whoa. You're a little shorter than what I had imagined.

@PuriChristos Spellbinding, no?

Are you writing this stuff down people?

So, I bought some Jalapeno Flavored Cheetos today. Question: If I found a Jesus Cheeto, would I pronounce it "Hay-Zoose"? Curious...

Have you seen the Jesus Cheeto?:

@oliveshoot Just pretend you're famous. You know, be really rude to waitstaff and be drunk in public. Trust me, you're golden!

@oliveshoot Well, since I am following you and you are following me, we are both SUPER COOL.

Off to carpool! Katdish - blogger, mother, wife and ROCKSTAR!

@br8kthru See, I have to try really hard not to think funny things, even in the most inappropriate circumstances. That's how I roll.

@peaseplan Dude - "flippy floppies"? Unfollow!

Bonus Round Responses from some of my favorite Twitter Buddies:

@marni71: @katdish I wake each day and say that to the does suck to not be you

@purichristos: @katdish So they give me my account back and you just go on about Jesus Cheeto?

@weightwhat: @katdish - What twitter buttons? I feel my twitter ho senses tingling...

@CandySteele: @katdish can't you just autopromote since you do it a dozen times a day? twss

@redclaydiaries: @katdish Katdish is a twitter ho. -Stephanie Wetzel

@helenatrandom: @br8kthru katdish wants us to tweet funny stuff to include in her twitter post tomorrow. I am nothing if not delightfully helpful. And odd.

@br8kthru: @katdish how about a slight chuckle? Would that count?

@peterpollock: @katdish @redclaydiaries The shiny vampire thing sounds much more marketable :-)

@shrinkingcamel: @katdish Course we missed you. Life on Tweet is not the same.

@billycoffey: @katdish Oh, wait. Deadliest Catch marathon. There goes the rest of my day...

@muchl8r: @katdish I'm not sure how the crap you do it. I'm still at like. . .30 or something?

I have a bunch more twitter buddies, but this is getting seriously, epically long. So I'll catch up with those guys nex time!

And stop following me all you prosperity gospel types. I find you incredibly annoying. (In love, of course. Always in Christian love.)


jasonS said...

Thanks for my mention!

That was quite lengthy and I didn't make it all the way through, but enjoyable none the less (that's what she said). AHH, I can't shut it off... and we could keep going, but I have to do the dishes now.

Peter P said...

Thanks for the mention Katdish.

Getting on this list is one of my top four weekly goals!

Bryan Allain said...

perhaps you should rename the "Friday Twitter Update" the "Fritter Update". Do you part to go green by saving on 6 characters.

Also, I enjoy your needling of Pete Wilson.

Nitewrit said...

"Hey, It's a Chicken" seems an approriate place for this. When my grandparents raised chickens out in the back yard when I was a child, I don't think I've seen anything more a-twitter than a chicken.

Of course, chickens didn't tweet, they clucked. I think the next social network should be called "Clucker"

I am not on Twitter. As you probably have guessed, it is hard for me to limit myself to 140 spaces. ;)

Larry E.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Shout. Out. Back. At. Ya.
It the whole scheme of your world, Twitter was indeed designed with you in mind.

Billy Coffey said...

I really have to see that Jesus Cheeto.

And I'd thank you for the mention too, but as you also mentioned about 53% of the rest of the world, I don't feel special anymore.

Annie K said...

Hey, I finally get a mention. It's about time.

Helen said...

What Peter said.

LeLe said...

Yessss! I made it again (@mabeswife). And at the top (or bottom, whichever) no less.

Peter P said...

Billy - 53%? Come on, don't exagerate.

There's no way there's more than 52.7% of the rest of the world on this list!

.. and you are special, no matter how you feel. Some people are special and some people are special. You're special!

(sorry, but you kind of started that with your blog post this week)

Steph @Red Clay Diaries said...

Always an honor, Katdish. Always an honor. I like Brian's idea of a Fritter Update. Of course, that's probably cuz I'm hungry.

Marni said...

I was too sentimental and mushy about daughter's graduation to throw down any good snark on Twitter this week. But grad day is over. It's on like Donkey Kong now...