Tuesday, May 19, 2009

In search of the elusive man card

I was recently awarded an honorary man card. An honor that frankly has been a long time coming, and apparently a highly sought after commodity. But how does a woman earn the right to said card? Does this mean that you are somehow unfeminine? Oh, heck no! You can still be feminine. I think you need to be to a certain extent. As a matter of fact, last time I checked, neither Rosie O'Donnell nor Whoopie Goldberg held this honor.

Actually, the way I see it, the best and fastest route to an honorary man card is to simply accept and embrace the things that are inherently manly about your man (or your male friends). That's not to say that you necessarily have to agree with it or like it (although that doesn't hurt your case). Just don't expect a real man to act like a girl. That's what your girlfriends are for.

Now here's my vote for all-time honorary man card lifetime achievement award:

EDITOR'S NOTE: There's absolutely no shame in not wanting a man card. Some women are naturally girly. I'm cool with that -- really, I am. Just don't try to convert me. I'm happy being me.

And speaking of men, one of my favorite pastors (who is, coincidentally a man) will be guest blogging here tomorrow: Jason S from Connecting to Impact. Y'all come back now, ya hear!


bman said...

That is a highly sought after achievement! My wife was awarded one a while back when she ate some super-hot salsa with no problems at all. She's so tough.

I wonder what you finally did to convince them of your tremendous man skillz. Although, liking Deadliest Catch should be enough.

sherri said...

Yeah, I'm a girly girl, however, I gave birth 3 times and took NOTHING for the pain! I saved the life of one of my sons who was choking to death in front of me and the SHWANN'S MAN (who was of NO HELP!). I performed the Heimlich maneuver and dislodged a button that my two year old had tried to eat! (I was ordering food... had he just waited!)
I love to ride on the Harley and I love sports, sex and food! Some would say those are manly desires.
But I still want to enjoy life in a pair of stilettos and I don't fart in front of others. And I like pretty things. And I hate bugs.And dirt. But I totally embrace all the manliness of my Big Al. I just don't want to be manly.
I LOOOOOVE Bonnie Rait!

Helen said...

If my mancard can't be pink and white, then I don't want one!
Kidding. I am all for appreciating men's manliness...in the most purest of Christian ways of course....

Billy Coffey said...

The Chuck Norris Approved sign with the fist proves your honorary Man Card worthiness itself.

And Sherri gets an honorary Man Card, too. But she's gonna have to eat a bug. With dirt on it.

Jewda said...

There are two types of women with man cards:

1. Women like my wife. She hates chick flicks, but loves movies manly movies like Die Hard, No Country for Old Men, etc. She sings pretty, but she finds a way to do it while singing along with Disciple and other metal bands. She laughs at all of my crude jokes, and has taken up laughing every time I fart. And she generally dislikes everything women like, other than me of course. No women's bible studies for her.

2. Women like a couple of my friends' wives. They only have one, though, cause they confiscated their husband's card. He will not be having fun for years to come. He will be going to tea and watching the Notebook with her, while his man card gets smudged with lipstick in her purse.

Good luck in your pursuit!

Jewda said...

Wait! Good luck in your pursuit? That was a lame way to end a comment. I clearly forgot the first sentence already. What I meant was...congratulations on your achievement!

Nick the Geek said...

Personally I think katdish needs to go through a rite of passage. As a man I had to endure a great number of physical and emotional scaring before being awarded my status as man (aka man card). These include but are not limited to;

-games that start with "I bet you can't..."
-games that involve trips to the hospital for the winner-games that involve saying "hey after this do I get to sign your cast?"
-games that involve having to explain why you have only one eyebrow (half an eyebrow if you are Jon Acuff)
-courtesy smells
-courtesy tastes

Can you verify that you've been involved with any of these?

Candace Jean July 16 said...

I'd tell you all the reasons I deserve a man card, but they're actually too disgusting to write here. Suffice it to say I can "bring home some bacon and fry it up in a pan...." I'd just never eat it.

Congrats, Katdish. I'm sure Chuck is proud.

jasonS said...

My wife doesn't want to participate in manliness really, but she's definitely not opposed to it. Now if I could just get to her to watch other movies besides romantic comedies, I'd be set. Her only real exception is The Fast and the Furious- she likes one of those dudes or the cars, I'm not sure. I'm just glad I didn't see Julia Roberts in it. :)

Thanks for the shout-out for tomorrow and that I'm one of your favorites. Pretty cool.

God's Not Finished With Us Yet... said...

Congrats on getting this award Katdish! Again, you remind me of my sister (but again not in all ways). She too isn't much of a girly girl and she'll tell you right out 'Don't try to change me; I'm happy with who I am.' Gotta love her!

I'm more of a girly girl but I also love to do some man things like the lawn and play some good of sports like flag football or baseball, though I suck at it. I still have fun!

Helen, that's too funny. If it's not pink and white you not wanting it...(though I know you're kidding). LOL....

Joanne Sher said...

Congratulations :) Not sure how I feel about it - but nobody's given it to me. Don't hold your breath ;)

Stacy from Louisville said...

Dare I admit I'm a bit girly? I'm getting help for it, though. I have to own up to my love for lipstick and I won't say I'm sorry. I had a little sunless tanner episode on Saturday that forced me into church looking like a completely vain fool. I HAD TO wear pants instead of a skirt. I looked ridiculous from the neck down. But the tan on my face nicely accomodated green eyeliner and bronzer. Plus I wore a ruffly cream shirt that was soooo pretty. I also have some flip flops that have a giant fake gem right at the big toe, which is polished red, of course. Oh! I got a new necklace. You really should see it - it sparkles like the 4th of July. I like to put it on just for fun and stare at myself in the mirror for hours, while I work on perfecting cute facial experssions and whitening my teeth. I just discovered a new way to bat my eyelashes and grin when I'm surprised. It's charming. Oh! And....

Peter P said...

My man card is a little different to your honorary one...

It takes a lot more work to earn one like mine than the one you got given.


katdish said...

Ahem - Nick

Since I already have said man card, I really have nothing to prove to you, but for your amusement I will share the following:

-games that start with "Hey, watch this.
-games that involve climbing atop construction barriers that lead to a trip to the hospital
-games that involve much shorter bangs than you ever intended
-"Can you smell that? Smell that!"
-"Do you think this milk is bad? Oh, it totally is."

I think that more than qualifies me.

Jewda - you wife sounds mantastic.

Candy - farmer blow - nuf said.

Sarah - actually, Helen is not kidding.

Joanne - All are welcome here.

Stace - Ugh! I have no words for you, woman.

Peter - absolutely NO argument here. You get a gold card.

Annie K said...

Katdish, you get a man card just for using the word tool.

(Oh, and that phrase 'all up in that'... Might want to check the slang dictionary, because my 16 year old informed me it's a 'literal' saying. Just sayin'. And it's always good to be schooled by your teen.)

Beth said...

I want to see dudes compete for an honorary woman card. Now THAT'S a reality show I'd watch....

Rebecca Robinson said...

So basically, Stacey from Louisville is telling us she went to church as an Oompa Loompa last week. (giggle!)

katdish said...

Annie - Good to know. Now I will use that phrase more often. I'm all up in that!

Beth - that called "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"

Rebecca - cyber fist bump!

Annie K said...

Yeah Katdish. I used that when I was texting Kenz and her boyfriend as they were driving home (he was driving she was texting.). Kenz said they had to pull of to the side of the road they were laughing so hard. It started when I used the word 'kewl' and then 'tru dat'. (I am hip beyond words. Seriously.)

L.L. Barkat said...

Well now, you crack *me* up too.