Saturday, April 25, 2009

Still struggling to Let It Go...


Tim Edwards has completed rehab and is the guest of honor at a homecoming party given at a local church tonight. For those of you who are new to this blog, Tim is the star of a viral marketing campaign and brainchild of a father and son marketing team here in Houston called Pimp this Bum dot com Through much prayer and more than a little gnashing of teeth by yours truly, I have been able to get past my anger about this website (mostly). I am still really struggling with the whole "the ends justify the means" mentality. I don't think anyone could convince me that what they did was right. Having said that, Tim has been given a second chance; generous donations have allowed him to get off the streets. Kevin and Sean Dolan (the father and son team) are not evil marketers bent only on making a buck at Tim's expense, I just can't condone their methods. Piled atop of this, is a knot in my stomach that has yet to unravel. Why the knot? Because I asked my friend and well known pastor Pete Wilson to write a post about it, which only gained the website more exposure. It still makes me feel icky. I received an invite to the party, but I am not going. There are some folks from my church who know Tim that will be there. There will be enough unfamiliar faces there without adding mine to the mix. What am I going to say to him? "Hi, I'm katdish. You know, the blogger that all the news blogs keep quoting? The one that hates the website that is responsible for you being here?" No thanks. I'll just stay home with the kiddos tonight. I am so happy for Tim. I really am. But I'm still struggling...



I've been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles
They've gone white
I'm fighting for who I wanna be
I'm just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go.

Well it's hard enough to hear
Harder still, to move beyond this fear
We know there's nothing I can bring,
So tell me what do you want from me?

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go

What do I love?
What do I hate?
What will I lose?
What will I gain?
How do I save my soul?
What if I bend?
What if I break?
What will it cost?
What will it take?
For you to save my soul.

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go

8 comments:

Billy Coffey said...

...(exhale)...

I get what you're saying here. To be honest, I would have stayed at home, too.

Good for Tim to get his second chance. We all deserve one, no matter who we are.

Good for Kevin and Sean Dolan, though? I'm not so sure.

Billy Coffey said...

btw, I just read Pete Wilson's post. He seems like a really cool guy.

Annie K said...

I hadn't seen Pete's post on this - I went over there and read the comments. Whoa nelly!

Is there some reason these guys feel the need to turn this 'bum' into an MTV show? And there's no better way to 'market' raising money and awareness of the plight of the homeless?

I seriously wonder if God is looking down shaking his head...

katdish said...

Billy,

I can't tell you how much I've struggled with this. Our church started a homeless ministry after meeting Tim and some of his friends under that overpass. It was never said outright, but it was suggested that our attempts to help Tim were a failure and that we should just step aside and wait and see what happened. Obviously, we didn't interfere, because Tim took them up on their offer (I'm pretty sure I would have done the same considering the circumstances). I find myself treading a fine line between righteous and self-righteous anger about this. I still can't be objective about it because it hits so close to home. I think Kevin and Sean really do care about Tim; they have expressed that through emails sent to me. But I think we will always have to agree to disagree.

And yeah. Pete is a very cool guy.

BTW - I'm going back and reading your older posts. So if you get a bunch of comments from old posts, that's why.

Annie - I can't read those comments anymore. There are a few of them that just piss me off all over again.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

You can choose to let go, but not an easy choice. Ask yourself what value is there in holding on? It still doesn't mean you have to feel differently about it; you just don't let it consume you.

Yeah, easier said than done. I heart your passion.

Helen said...

Katdish, you know I agree with you wholeheartedly.
As for your attempts being "failures", well here is my question: are Kevin and Sean going back to the overpass to "help" the other men? Making a person into a project for a few months isn't nearly as challenging as developing relationships with them and helping them work through things for the long haul. I too am glad for Tim to be off the streets. But they are not going back to "help" each man one by one. That is what you and your Church is doing, and I admire you for it.

Mare said...

remains tough stuff...

I love the way you "fight" for him though...

sean said...

Katdish - I just want it to be made clear that we never told you that your efforts were worthless, or to 'step aside'. My comment was 'but Tim is still on the street' as in: He's still homeless, so why not help him. It was not meant to say that 'your plan didn't work so we're taking over from here'. We just aren't the type of people you think we are. I would really like to meet you in person if possible, it might be a good way to work that knot out. If nothing else, you could email me and vent your frustration a bit and we can have a conversation.

For any who might think that we are not seeing Till 'all the way through' I encourage you to watch the latest video on the pimpthisbum website. It is the whole 3 months down to 10 minutes. I think this will clear up any doubts as to our intentions with this project. At least I hope so.