This just in: I am not fat, I just have a butt cold!

Okay, whether or not you're considered obese is a matter for those ridiculous insurance charts. Pull-lease! They don't take into account those of us that are big-boned (pronounced: big-bone-ded), and the fact that you have rather large feet and a fairly sizable head. (I gotta fit my giant brain somewhere!) I'm kind of like Oprah...only I'm not famous, African-American, have a book club, a huge production company, nor could I buy and sell you several times over if I wanted to. But I digress...

According to the latest research, obesity may be caused by a virus spread like the common cold. Check this out from foxnews.com:

Obesity can be "caught" as easily as a common cold from other people's coughs, sneezes and dirty hands, scientists said Monday. The condition has been linked to a highly-infectious virus which causes sniffles and sore throats. Nikhil Dhurandhar, an associate professor at The Pennington Biomedical Research Center, in Baton Rouge, La., said the virus, known as AD-36, infects the lungs then whisks around the body, forcing fat cells to multiply and also causing sore throats. "When this virus goes to fat tissue it replicates, making more copies of itself and in the process increases the number of new fat cells, which may explain why the fat tissue expands and why people get fat when they are infected with this virus," Dhurandhar said. In one test, a third of obese people had the rare and highly contagious virus compared to just 11 percent of thinner people. Weight gain can last three months until the body has built up resistance to the bug.

Check it out the entire article here.

I am comforted to know that IT IS NOT MY FAULT! I can only presume that I have a mutant strain of this virus: Fatassatosis. Won't you join me in finding a cure? My bathing suit would appreciate it.