Finding your Muse

Excerpt from Duma Key by Stephen King:

How to Draw a Picture (Part 5)

Don't be afraid to experiment; find your muse and let her lead you. As her talent grew stronger, Elizabeth's muse became Noveen, the marvelous talking doll. Or so she thought. And by the time she discovered here mistake -- by the time Noveen's voice changed -- it was too late. But at first it must have been wonderful. Finding one's muse always is.

Must your muse be a person? Well, it certainly can be, but it doesn't have to be.

Your muse can be the questions you need answered or pain you want to make sense of. It can be the parts of your life you've just glanced over but never really delved into. Your children's future can be your muse; your own peace of mind.

In short, your muse is what inspires you to create when you're not feeling particularly creative; to work when you'd rather sleep, to promote yourself when you'd rather just find a quiet place to hide away from the world.

So, what drives me to create? Different things in different circumstances. But if I'm being honest (and I usually am), what drives me is the something my dad told me over and over as a child. Before I get into this, I need to tell you that my dad and I have a very good relationship now, and I don't hold any ill will towards him. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. But I digress...

His philosophy was anything worth doing is worth doing well. Which I believe is a true and noble directive. His paraphrasing of that expression is what has caused me to struggle with overcoming some obstacles, the biggest of which was self doubt. I still struggle with that. I think we all do to a certain extent. So, what were my dad's exact words? These:

"If you going to do something half-ass, don't do it at all!"

Adults often make the mistake of assuming children think the way they do. When I heard that statement, my first thought was, "Okay. I won't do it at all." So things that were difficult for me I simply avoided. I convinced myself that I wasn't really good at anything. But God knew better. I suppose I'm a bit of a later bloomer. I didn't really know what I was good at creatively until my thirties. I spent a whole lot of years simply existing, not living. But somewhere along the line a passion for art in many forms was ignited. It's scary, and difficult at times, but living is so much more fulfilling than existing, don't you think?

So...find your muse yet?