A Busy Week on the Twitter

Big, huge news! My geeky church planter friend Beth, who goes by the name @HerbieGookins (?), finally caved and is on the twitter. We're all very excited! Helen has found her twitter ho gift in hash tagging #nicerfilmtitles, and people are turning their avatars green to support Iran whist @tremendousnews makes fun of them. I also made a lame attempt to tweet haikus, which was a miserable failure. Sorry. I know this is really long, just stop reading when your eyes start to bleed:

Beginning with favorite tweets submitted by a few of my twitter pals:

From my geeky church planter Beth on her way to Twitter Ho-dom:
1. Side by side laptops on the couch. Are we geeky or what?
2. Time to say hello to the sun while it's still here. Herbie Gookins out, yo.
3. @marni71 Thanks. Did I just do that right? And who doesn't enjoy typing "HerbieGookins"?
4. I see how it is. My Mom and Katdish tweeting about me behind my back. You are both so busted. Once I figure this blessed thing out...grrr
5. I have no idea what I'm doing. Obviously.
6. New to twitter. Learning, learning.

From Jason:
br8kthru: I can't convince someone that something is worthwhile & valuable. All I can do is share my experience & lead by example.

br8kthru: Bed is calling me. It keeps calling me Beatrice, which is weird but I'm going anyway. Goodnight!

@katdish there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus- sadly, I must condemn you 'cause laughing cow is nasty.

From @weightwhat (Wendy):
No brothers in my family. We called boy parts "What the heck is that thing?!"

@katdish - I follow people who I find to be intellectually stimulating, people who can challenge my thinking and cause me to grow. And you.

RT @katdish @CandySteele I refuse to emote! I won't do it, I tell ya! I won't! :o) (*snort*)

@katdish - And now I'll throw my head back and laugh maniacally! Muahahaha!

@katdish - It's Beach Blogger Billy! Man, I hope they come out with the action figure soon.

From @marni71: (who misunderstood my question, obviously and sent me other people’s tweets)

WE GOT BETH TO CAVE? Is there no end to our powers? Look out Matt, you're next...muahahahahah

I need WD-40. My office chair is making some icky noises...and I don't want others to think it's me

@Jess_Hays I AM the po po ho, fool!

From @helenatrandom:
@buzzbyannies You know, like "satan". cubs = satan....

@buzzbyannies I am not actually giving cubs the middle finger. Just the middle finger of grammar: not capitalizing their name!

Place Mamma Away from the Rear of the Train Gently Onto the Tracks #nicerfilmtitles

*Note: @jewdacris4 either sent me some and I lost them, or we talked about him sending me some and it never happened...I forget. It's really late. So send them to me and I'll add them, dude.

And now for my incessant ramblings. Again...sorry. Feel free to quit reading and run screaming from your computer.

1. RT @br8kthru: I love puns & love this: Next time you're asked, "Paper or Plastic?" justsay, "Doesn't matter to me. I'm bi-sacksual."
2. Okay, seriously. I may have to devote my entire twitter update to @herbiegookins getting on the twitter!
3. RT @HerbieGookins: I have no idea what I'm doing. Obviously. YAY!
4. @herbiegookins - Get on the twitter so we can talk to you! Facebook is dead!
5. @Helenatrandom No. You have to use reverse psychology on her. Tell her not to. She's fairly stubborn that @herbiegookins
6. @marni71 We are strong. We are invincible. We are twitter hos.
7. LET THE HEAVENS AND EARTH DECLARE: BETH HAS CAVED! FOLLOW HER! @herbiegookins
8. RT @marni71: @Helenatrandom Yeah, I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with pretentious..ooh wait, this just in...contentious.
9. @Helenatrandom I've had over 100 FB inbox items before. My strategy? Ignore them.
10. Stomach is bothering me this morning. Probably should have passed up the pork tar-tar last night...
11. @PuriChristos You cain't quit us Nick! You wish you could, but you cain't!
12. Non-creepy followers! Please follow @marni71 She is wicked awesome funny, & if you don't I'm not so sure we can be friends anymore.
13. @JennCallingHome Thanks! I checked out your blog & decided to refollow, despite your creepy brown avatar...
14. @Brian_Russell Well, forget it. You can't make me drink the Microsoft Kool-Aid!
15. RT @badbanana: Another hot, humid day ahead. Once again, I bet I'll be the only one at work smart enough to wear a beer hat.
16. RT @CandySteele: Pants are pinned shut and I'm wearing my husband's socks. GQ cover material or pink fuzzy man card material?
17. @buzzbyannies Have a great day! I'll be especially lazy and unmotivated in your absence.
18. @shrinkingcamel Okay, what is Bing? (besides Crosby and cherry).
19. @Helenatrandom It looks to me as you're saying, "How-dee-do, cubbies! You just got pwoned!"
20. @xjkradicoolx Good luck with not being a grumpy ho today, of course!
21. @buzzbyannies @CandySteele What is this? Farmer Thursday on the twitter?
22. RT @tylerstanton: Never has an iPhone upgrade made me feel more average. Thanks 3.0!
23. @buzzbyannies Because it's the home of the armadillo, with the friendliest people & the prettiest women you've ever seen.
24. @speaktruthtoyou I spell it "kewl". And you're not the boss of me!
25. @prodigaljohn The sad part about the whole "bring my cardboard breakdance mat" statement is that you probably actually have one.
26. I support the whole green avatar thing, but seriously - I would look like broom hilda if I did that. Yeah, I'm vain like that...
27. @CandySteele I yam what I yam. At least I don't pretend I'm humble. That's incredibly annoying
28. FB RT: Jeremy Peterson if you haven't tried tweetdeck for the iphone, check it out! (Kool Aid! He drank the kool aid!)
29. @prodigaljohn It takes a man secure in his masculinity to openly admit that on the twitter.
30. @Brian_Russell Katdish coffee mugs.
31. @alliebaldwin You really like shopping at the walmarts don't you?
32. @chrissulli Wow. Who knew anyone listened to me?
33. One of the disadvantages of living in a warm climate is that I do not own a snow shovel, which makes cleaning my daughter's room difficult.
34. @LevelTen_Colin Oh my goodness! I totally do all of those. I must be some kind of bloggy prodigy or something.
35. @jerdavcpa Ah, yes...Math - my arch nemesis!
36. RT @badbanana: Nearly 60% won't graduate from one Chicago school. But that still means 80% will, so stop picking on public schools.
37. RT @Helenatrandom: Too bad @PuriChristos is busy...he'd love this one.... Dial M for Monkeybutt #nicerfilmtitles
38. RT @tremendousnews: #nicerfilmtitles The Devil Wears Moderately-Priced Shoes Bought From The Outlet Off I-35.
39. RT @tremendousnews: #nicerfilmtitles Meet Joe African-American
40. @chrissulli Well, SNAP OUT OF IT! All better?
41. @Helenatrandom @marni71 "pickle" just saying...
42. RT @weightwhat: @Helenatrandom said "boy parts"... heh heh
43. @Helenatrandom I think you've found your special purpose in life!
44. RT @Helenatrandom: Place Mamma Away from the Rear of the Train Gently Onto the Tracks #nicerfilmtitles
45. Intellectually stimulating group of twitter friends this morning! @helenatrandom, @weightwhat, @marni71, @br8kthru, @redclaydiaries
46. @Helenatrandom Twitter Ho Fire, Baby!
47. RT @Helenatrandom: Good Will Catch and Release #nicerfilmtitles
48. @marni71 I need to make sure I put that on my Friday update so Sharkbait the twitter snob can blush.
49. RT @Helenatrandom: My Big Pleasantly Plump Greek Wedding #nicerfilmtitles
50. Wonderful Wacky Wednesday!: @redclaydiaries and her obscene amount of laundry baskets.
51. RT @buzzbyannies: @katdish You're like the pied piper of ho's on twitter. Creepy. (Aw, thanks Annie. Love you too!)
52. RT @tremendousnews: #nicerfilmtitles The Gently-Sobbing Game: Because She's Not Really A Dude In This One, Just Really High Maintenance.
53. Good Morning! My entire Replies Column is full of Wacky Wednesday shout outs. Thank you, and I'm sorry!
54. @billycoffey You haven't been published because you never had proper nasty pimp representation until now.
55. Yeah, @tremendousnews ! Why you gotta be hating on @xjkradicoolx grampa like that?
56. @loswhit Hey, Los. Will you follow me so I can pretend your @CHRIS_Daughtry? Thanks.
57. @CandySteele You're so lawsome!
58. Okay, I'll stop. No restraining orders, please.
59. You know what? I think @CHRIS_Daughtry is just playing hard to get. He digs me. I know he does.
60. I can't help myself. I swear I will RT anything @tremendousnews says.
61. RT @tremendousnews: Out of the box thinking: A Tiny URL that shrinks Tiny URLs. Angel investors? DM me
62. @bloggerservice thank you. did you miss the "I won't pay you but I will owe you a solid part"?
63. @kizabrat that would explain the strange following after an excessive amount of monkey butt tweets.
64. RT @asilannax: That excessively white kid driving down White Blvd blaring Kanye West? I'm sorry.
65. AHEM! Would anyone like to redesign my blog? I won't pay you, but I would owe you a solid.
66. @billycoffey Hush. You're interrupting my mojo.
67. @weightwhat @Helenatrandom That's okay. I see how you are...
68. @CandySteele @redclaydiaries Are you people seriously talking about salad? Sheesh!
69. @PuriChristos That comment was freaking AWESOME!
70. @weightwhat You did NOT just add a smiley face to the end of my tweet! ARGH!
71. @CandySteele I refuse to emote! I won't do it, I tell ya! I won't!
72. @PeterPollock Yes, well my point is, I sort of like people to read my blog. I know, it's an ego thing...
73. RT @tylerstanton: Our new phone books just arrived. I've never been less excited about anything.
74. @CandySteele So sad. I am so very sad @CHRIS_Daughtry refuses to follow me. (I'm tempted to use an emoticon here, but I have my pride)
75. @CandySteele Oh, that hurt! Why won't @CHRIS_Daughtry follow me? I'm so sad...(I'm going for pathetic, pulling out all the stops.)
76. @tremendousnews Check you link, there's nothing there. (that's what she said)
77. @PeterPollock Hmm...sounds interesting. I'm not sure how many of my readers actually read books, though...
78. @myapronstrings Thanks. That was not at all helpful.
79. Just checked facebook account. I have 40 items in my in box. Will continue to practice avoidance.
80. @PeterPollock Do you get free books? People need to send me free books. I would totally owe them a solid!
81. FB RT: Jeremy Peterson is ready for iphone 3.0 software to release tomorrow. (He's drank the kool-aid folks!)
82. This just in: @CHRIS_Daughtry is still not following me on twitter.
83. Okay Twitter - gotta go be someone's worst nightmare at the pedicure place!
84. @SUPERkevo Dude, your tweets are short yet explanatory. Yeah, I'll follow...
85. @PeterPollock Kidding, of course...
86. @PeterPollock Excessive use of exclamation points. Unfollow.
87. @br8kthru But did you have to count with your fingers? I totally have to do that.
88. @mabeswife I know, it's craptastic huh?
89. Have you noticed yet/My tweets are in haiku form/They're sucktacular!
90. @br8kthru Okay, how's this: I ate chex mix and laughing cow cheese for breakfast.
91. RT @stretchmarkmama: If I could just find a way to route the coffee pot through the shower head, I might actually ENJOY this morning.
92. @Helenatrandom What doesn't remind you of a joke, Helen?
93. RT @KevinMartineau: Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu
94. @Flauxers That's why I never travel anywhere by donkey.
95. Dear New York Times: What were you thinking?!? http://bit.ly/19j0xY
96. Yeah...I went there.
97. @AuthorTech Who decides who is relevant and who is not? That makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
98. @marni71 Yeah, so my daughter sings: We are honky, honky for you. Which in the case of our church, was highly appropriate.
99. @marni71 Do you know the song "Fuel"? We are yearning, we are burning, were hungry, hungry for you?
100. Red Clay Diaries/Why you be hatin' on me?/It's still early yet.
101. @redclaydiaries Look, I'm working on it. It's hard to type and count on your fingers at the same time.
102. A very special song dedication for @pwilson boys. Crank it up! (Jump, Jump by Kris Kross)
103. @pwilson Don't mention it...
104. Dear @pwilson boys: JUMP, JUMP, JUMP on the bed! Daddy loves that!
105. Responses will not/be in haiku form because/I am not that bright
106. Goodnight dear twitter/It's time to hit the pillow/more haiku tweets soon/
107. @PeterPollock You were not the first commenter. Sucks for you...11:22 PM Jun 15th from TweetDeck in reply to PeterPollock
108. @jescalan Um, yeah. I've got my money on annoying. But thanks.
109. I think I'm going to try to tweet everything in haiku form. That should be incredibly annoying.
110. Can everyone just tweet for the pure sake of being random and annoying? It's a liberating experience - Promise!
111. I've always wanted to say that on the twitter...
112. @ofmercy Night, Jon boy!
113. Should I be offended that my guest blogger gets more traffic on my blog than I do?
114. @ofmercy Aw, shucks! No I'm not! Okay...I totally am!
115. @ofmercy Well if I'm not least, then why did you mention me last? Hmh!
116. @bryanallain I am judging you. Are you kidding me?
117. @buzzbyannies I always speak from experience, unless I'm making it up.
118. @rachaelmphillip Your daughter still stubbornly refuses to get a twitter account, btw.
119. @rachaelmphillip Oooo! Beth's mom read my blog! Thanks!
120. @buzzbyannies You can be a twitter ho from anywhere
121. @marklamberti Ah yes. Nothing would make me happier than seeing 2 past their prime fake tanned wrestlers displaying their man boobs.
122. @marklamberti No, no, no! You need to ask me questions about stuff I give a rat's patooty about!
123. @billycoffey Awww! You're cyberstalking me from the beach? How sweet!
124. @PeterPollock @CandySteele Thanks for the RTs. Hope that dude appreciates his nasty pimp working while he's at the beach!
125. @jerdavcpa If I want to eat bad pizza and be annoyed by children, I can do that from the comfort of my own home
126. @lynnmosher Yeah, I'm waiting for him to figure out his writing is too good for my blog (shh...don't tell him).
127. @lynnmosher No. God is merciful. There's only one of me.
128. @lynnmosher @thewritermama What you need is a non writer friend who is a shameless self promoter. (Sorry, I'm taken)
129. @oliveshoot I lost my dignity a long, long time ago.
130. Playing go-fish w/my 7-yo daughter. She just told me "You're about to say Crap." I really need to edit myself more
131. @ryanmer I don't know who's worse. You for writing stuff like that, or me for reading it. Oh, most likely you...
132. @nickcarnes Yeah, those tokens are minted in the fiery furnaces of hell.
133. @nickcarnes I despise Chuck E. Cheese!
134. @mylestones Please disregard the tweet about me nasty feet
135. @mylestones @CandySteele I don't want to say my feet are bad, but the last time I had a pedicure, they canceled the rest of their app.
136. @buzzbyannies @CandySteele Dear Fully Staffed Private Island and Private Jet Service to said private island: My friends & I need a vacation
137. @MichaelHyatt Having a pedicure might put your man card in question.
138. @blogomomma You live such a dangerous life! Al this talk of newspapers and coupons makes my life seem boring.
139. ATTENTION: I need someone to send me a free Kindle. If I like it, I will feature you on my blog, read by tens of people every day.
140. @authorjjhebert Well, then. Good for @rachellegarnder and good for the earth. Man, I gotta get me a kindle!
141. @authorjjhebert way to suck up to the literary agent! (kidding!) (sort of)

Really...Again. So sorry. I'm not even going to tell you how many I had for the week. You don't want to know, and I don't want to tell you...