The Results are In

The Winners are Helen and Wendy. (Please email me your 411 - okay, that was kind of lame.) I should send Candy some yard art just for spite, but I'm praying for her ungrateful heart. Also, I think Helen knows me better than some family members.

And now lemme break it down for you people:

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT have done Yesterday:

1. Made red beans and rice for lunch.
True - It was from a box, but it was sprinkled with love.

2. Shot a man just to watch him die.
False - I did not shoot a man to watch him die. On Wednesday.

3. Sent Donald Miller* a tweet with the word frigintastic and got a response to said tweet.
True - He posted a twitpic of a bar that I may or may not have patronized in downtown Austin. I asked if the pic was from downtown Austin, frigintastic! His response: "Absolutely. An Awesome Town." Not so wordy in the non-book setting.

4. Threatened to kick my kids out in the rain if they messed up my clean house.
True - That's a no brainer.

5. Got rave reviews from Simon Cowell after singing "Jenny" on American Idol for Wii.
False - I did not play the Wii on Wednesday. But I totally rock that song.

6. Alphabetized my spice rack.
False - I do not own a spice rack. We buy our spices in big redneck vats.

7. Took an extra dose of Ginkgo Biloba for good measure.
True - Having kids home from school unexpectedly requires contingency plans.

8. Booked 2 appointments with potential new clients for next week.
True - I'm fixin' to get really busy.

8 Shows I MAY OR MAY NOT Watch

1. Best Show in the History of Television (also known as The Deadliest Catch)
True - nuff said.

2. Dancing with the Stars
False - That show is for girly girls. I'm not exactly rocking a mullet and birkenstock sandals, but I have a bit more testosterone than your average female. And say what you will about the athletic prowess of Emmitt Smith, as far as I'm concerned, he surrendered his man card when he agreed to be on that show.

3. CSI Miami
False - Sorry - David Caruso as Grown-up Angry Opie from The Andy Griffin Show doesn't do it for me.

4. CSI NY
True - That show rocks.

5. CSI Las Vegas
True - That show also rocks. Even though I really miss Grissom and Warrick Brown. I loved me some Grissom and Warrick Brown!

6. Dirtiest Jobs
True - Mike Rowe is the second sexiest man alive, my dh being the numero uno.

7. Myth Busters
True - Blowing stuff up is awesome. Plus, if I were a tv star, I would want to be Kari Byron. She's an artist and a knife thrower. How cool is that? She also referred to someone as a hippy, crystal gripping tree hugger on the show.

8. The Office
True That's what she said.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do (or might actually be able to do):

1. Paint with either hand.
True - I am right/left brain confused, but sometimes it comes in handy.

2. Juggle.
False - I am a klutz of epic proportions. Juggling requires eye hand coordination.

3. Write song parodies a-la Weird Al Yankovitz.
True - I once wrote Christian lyrics to "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith. It's not something I'm proud of, but it was my friend J.D.'s going away gift. I also wrote a parody of the song "Church on Fire" for a departing pastor who was fond of the tacky Hawaiin shirt entitled "Shirt on Fire". I do not heart that song.

4. Recite the preamble to the Constitution.
True - I grew up on Schoolhouse Rock.

5. Play the harmonica.
False - Although I play slightly better than Alanis Morrisette.

6. Roller Skate backwards.
True - I am ALL up in that! I can skate better backward than forwards.

7. Make awesome chicken enchiladas.
True - They are awesomatastic!

8. Sing "American Pie" in its entirety (the long version) by memory.
False - Sad, but true. Dig that song, though.

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT be Looking Forward To:

1. Meeting some of my bloggity gal pals this summer.
True - Heck yeah!

2. Tomorrow.
True - New day. Fresh start.

3. Redoing my guest bathroom.
True - I'm planning on making a mancave for my dh.

4. Old age.
True - Even though I wish I had more nieces and nephews. Crazy Aunt Kathy has a nicer ring to it than my Crazy Mother.

5. Catching up on a season's worth of American Idol on Tivo.
False - That show made me mad when they voted off Dirty Rocker Chris Daughtry. I watch from time to time, but I think this year's talent is rather sucktacular.

6. Going to my husband's high school reunion.
True - Like I'm gonna say False. He reads my blog, you know. Not every day, mind you. But it's sort of like random drug testing. You just never know. Besides, what's not to like about being around a bunch of people telling you stuff about your spouse that you might not know?

7. Going to Japan with my mom someday soon.
True - Although I'll probably have to sell a kidney to be able to afford it.

8. The premiere of the movie "New Moon".
True - Also, did you know that there's a 5th book? Twilight from Edward Cullen's perspective. Oh, heck yeah!

There you have it. Thirty-two things you never wanted to know about katdish. I will now open up the comments section to completely random and totally unrelated comments...

Eight is Enough

So...I pretty much got nothing. Plus, I'm still reeling from the fact that my first guest blogger is more popular than me ON MY OWN BLOG. How suck is that? (Just kidding - that's awesome.) Maybe I should spend more time carefully weaving a story that is humorous, engaging and thought provoking...Oooo! Shiny vampire!

I suppose I could write about the weather: It rained. A bunch. Rednecks swam in flood waters. For fun. There was no school. There better be school today. The end.

And now...I'm going to punt. A few members of the Magnificent Infinity posted "8 Things" posts, so I'm going with that. We used to be the Magnificent 7, but we're a friendly bunch, and people dig us (especially Annie K). I'm changing mine up a bit because I like to be different, and they're not the boss of me. Here ya go:

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT have done Yesterday:
1. Made red beans and rice for lunch.
2. Shot a man just to watch him die.
3. Sent Donald Miller* a tweet with the word frigintastic and got a response to said tweet.
4. Threatened to kick my kids out in the rain if they messed up my clean house.
5. Got rave reviews from Simon Cowell after singing "Jenny" on American Idol for Wii.
6. Alphabetized my spice rack.
7. Took an extra dose of Ginkgo Biloba for good measure.
8. Booked 2 appointments with potential new clients for next week.

*yeah, "Blue Like Jazz" Donald Miller.

8 Shows I MAY OR MAY NOT Watch
1. Best Show in the History of Television (also known as The Deadliest Catch)
2. Dancing with the Stars
3. CSI Miami
4. CSI NY
5. CSI Las Vegas
6. Dirtiest Jobs
7. Myth Busters
8. The Office

8 Things I Wish I Could Do (or might actually be able to do):
1. Paint with either hand.
2. Juggle.
3. Write song parodies a-la Weird Al Yankovitz.
4. Recite the preamble to the Constitution.
5. Play the harmonica.
6. Roller Skate backwards.
7. Make awesome chicken enchiladas.
8. Sing "American Pie" in its entirety (the long version)by memory.

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT be Looking Forward To:
1. Meeting some of my bloggity gal pals this summer.
2. Tomorrow.
3. Redoing my guest bathroom.
4. Old age.
5. Catching up on a season's worth of American Idol on Tivo.
6. Going to my husband's high school reunion.
7. Going to Japan with my mom someday soon.
8. The premiere of the movie "New Moon".

Just to make this interesting and to lure you lurker types out of shadows, I am offering a frigintastic prize to the person who can come up with the most correct true or false answers to the aforementioned statements. In the event of a tie, I have more than one of these quality pieces of yard art:


These are not the actual birds in my possession, but seriously - close enough! I didn't feel like taking a picture, downloading it to my computer, etc. Besides, mine are hermetically sealed in the original packaging. Sa-weet! This is a friendly competition and all results are final. Please - no wagering.

The winner will be announced on tomorrow's post.

Bonus Question: I MAY OR MAY NOT have given out the following phone number on one or 30 occasions "back in the day":

It's all a Matter of Emphasis

One of the great things about being completely random is that I never feel the need to write something thought provoking and/or deep. I may do that accidentally sometimes, but - you know - no pressure. I'm not, after all, a writer. I'm a silly person who writes a blog that, for reasons unbeknownst to me, people read on a regular basis. I do have a theory, however. Not to brag or anything, but I think I have the uncanny ability to find really good writers in the blogosphere. And don't try to deny it, because some of you people follow me everywhere! Hey Look a Chicken has become some sort of bloggity portal through which many people find much awesomeness. (You're welcome.)

Oh, and check this out! The last time I wrote a post about a really good blog, the writer's name was Koffijah. This time, his name is Billy Coffey. I really like coffee. I really like Koffijah and Billy Coffey. Did anyone else just get a little chill down their spine? No? Okay, whatever...



I suppose I could just give you a link to Billy's blog, but he was kind enough to allow me to post a story here. Besides, I think after you read it, you will be a fan of What I Learned Today just like me. And while you're over there, please disregard my stupid random comments sprinkled among the unabashed declarations of adoration for his writing. I just like to mix things up a little. Enough of me, here's one of Billy's recent posts:

Please Take One

The toy store downtown is one of those mom-and-pop deals that you can get lost in, the sort of place where you can find things that Toys R Us would never think of stocking. Good things. Great things. Things that really, really make me wish I were a kid again. Which makes shopping there both a pleasure and a curse. A pleasure because there is so much I’d like to get my kids for two weeks of chores well done. A curse because I can’t make up my mind what to get them.

So, there on a Wednesday during lunch, I wander. And in my wandering I happen to spot a Longaberger basket sitting atop a wooden display of toy soldiers (Toy soldiers, I think to myself. My son would love some toy soldiers).

In the basket is a pile of those long, thick pretzel sticks. The sign above them says PLEASE TAKE ONE.

Given the fact that it’s lunchtime and I’m hungry, that’s exactly what I do. I take one and munch while I walk. Through the Legos, the building blocks, the books, the dolls. Through the Tonka trucks and coloring books and Play Doh.

And I am back to where I started. At the basket of pretzels.

Still unsure of what to buy and still hungry, I decide to restock and take another trip around the store. I reach into the basket for another pretzel. And as I bite it, I see something out of the corner of my eye.

Standing beside the stuffed animals about four feet away is a little boy. Sixish, not much older than my son, and staring. At me. He holds out one fist and raises his index finger.

One, it says.

I wrinkle my eyebrows, unsure of what his attempt at sign language means.

One, again.

“What?” I ask him (which actually came out as “Wamp?” because I hadn’t swallowed yet).

“You took two pretzels,” he says.

“So?”

“You’re only ‘posed to take one.”

“Who are you” I ask, “the pretzel police?”

“It’s what the sign says,” he states, now using his index finger to point. “Mama said the sign says ‘Please take one.”

I look at the sign, then back to him. “No,” I answer, “the sign says ‘Please take one.’ There’s a difference. It’s all a matter of emphasis.”

“What’s empkasis?”

“Never mind,” I say.

“You shouldn’t have taken that pretzel. Mama says God watches us.”

My mind takes a sudden detour to those old Disney movies, where the older, bigger kid was always accompanied by Jiminy Cricket, Mr. Disney’s version of a conscience. I’m starting to think this kid is my Jiminy Cricket. Or maybe just aggravating. I haven’t made up my mind yet.

“Your mama’s right,” I answer, wondering where in the world his mama was. “But since God knows the sign says ‘Please take one,’ I think I’m in the clear.”

“Please. Take. One,” he corrects.

There we stand in the middle of the store, staring down one another like two gunslingers in a Western wondering who would draw first.

PLEASE TAKE ONE. An invitation to me, a rule for him. Which was right? I’m not as sure as I was a few minutes ago.

How do we decide who is right and who is wrong? Easy.

Go ask the owner of the store.

“Excuse me,” I say to the nice lady behind the counter. “I was wondering if you could shed a little light on a problem this youngin’ and I are having.”

She perks up and joins us, happy to have something to do.

“We were wondering about this sign here,” I say. “Is it please take one, or please take one?”

The owner gives us both a strange look. “Well, I’m not sure. No one’s ever asked.”

“It’s preyin’ on our minds, ma’am,” the boy says.

“Preyin’,” I add.

“If you’d like a pretzel,” she says, “please take one. If you’d like another, you can take one, too.”

Excellent.

“Can I have a pretzel?” the boy asks.

Situation resolved, the three of us part ways. Him to his mother, who had been preoccupied with the books, the owner back to the register, and me to finish my shopping.

Funny, I think, how three words led us this far. But I am sure of this: if two people can disagree over something as simple as pretzels, it’s no wonder why we disagree over the important things even more—politics and God, right and wrong, war and peace.

Who’s to know which is right and which is wrong? Or even if there really is a right and wrong? How do we settle our differences, put away our prejudices, and find the truth?

Maybe, I thought, we should all do what that little boy and I ended up doing.

Maybe we should all go the Owner of the store and see what He says.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Oh sure, it's no top ten shiny vampire list. But still, very good.)

P. S. - Billy, In your email, you mentioned that you didn't remember how you found your way over to my blog. I'm pretty sure it was the first comment I made on your post, The Fruit Salad. Here's what I said (in part):
"Your grandmother was a very wise woman, indeed. And you dropped the "f" bomb on her? Jerk!"

You left a comment here before mine was even posted.

P. S. S. - If you have a comment for Billy, please feel free to post it here. I'll try to keep my big mouth shut. (No promises, though.)

Another Top Ten List: Twilight Edition

Hello my friends. It's been awhile since I posted a top ten list, and since I just finished reading Twilight and watching the movie, I've been inspired to share another one with you.



The Top Ten things I may or may not have been inspired to do after reading/watching Twilight:

Number 10:
Delete everything from my flair board on Facebook and heretofore only accept Edward Cullen/Twilight flair.

Number 9:
Throw out my bare minerals loose powder and buy a shade 4 shades lighter than my natural skin color.

Number 8:
Refuse to answer to any name other than Bella or Alice.

Number 7:
Begin to think that my klutzy tendencies are downright adorable.

Number 6:
Wonder how my husband would look with bronze hair.

Number 5:
Start acting like a fourteen year old angst-filled girl.

Number 4:
Have my teeth whitened and sharpened.

Number 3:
Buy a new Twilight calendar and begin marking the days off until the "New Moon" movie premiere with a red Sharpie.

Number 2:
Secretly replace my husband's moisturizing lotion with glittering after-sun lotion.

Number 1:
Finish this blog post, lock myself in my room and finish reading the second book in the series.

Gotta go now...talk amongst yourselves....

Still struggling to Let It Go...

Tim Edwards has completed rehab and is the guest of honor at a homecoming party given at a local church tonight. For those of you who are new to this blog, Tim is the star of a viral marketing campaign and brainchild of a father and son marketing team here in Houston called Pimp this Bum dot com Through much prayer and more than a little gnashing of teeth by yours truly, I have been able to get past my anger about this website (mostly). I am still really struggling with the whole "the ends justify the means" mentality. I don't think anyone could convince me that what they did was right. Having said that, Tim has been given a second chance; generous donations have allowed him to get off the streets. Kevin and Sean Dolan (the father and son team) are not evil marketers bent only on making a buck at Tim's expense, I just can't condone their methods. Piled atop of this, is a knot in my stomach that has yet to unravel. Why the knot? Because I asked my friend and well known pastor Pete Wilson to write a post about it, which only gained the website more exposure. It still makes me feel icky. I received an invite to the party, but I am not going. There are some folks from my church who know Tim that will be there. There will be enough unfamiliar faces there without adding mine to the mix. What am I going to say to him? "Hi, I'm katdish. You know, the blogger that all the news blogs keep quoting? The one that hates the website that is responsible for you being here?" No thanks. I'll just stay home with the kiddos tonight. I am so happy for Tim. I really am. But I'm still struggling...



I've been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles
They've gone white
I'm fighting for who I wanna be
I'm just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go.

Well it's hard enough to hear
Harder still, to move beyond this fear
We know there's nothing I can bring,
So tell me what do you want from me?

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go

What do I love?
What do I hate?
What will I lose?
What will I gain?
How do I save my soul?
What if I bend?
What if I break?
What will it cost?
What will it take?
For you to save my soul.

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go

The New Skymall's Here! The New Skymall's Here!

Oh yesh! It is the much anticipated (by Mare) Skymall Post - Geeky Blogger Edition! For my new readers (both of you), I have written previous Skymall posts, and may I humbly say, that they rate right up there with my pornographic cheese buttler posts. They are THAT good! You can check them out here:
Blog Fodder: First in a Series! (Tacky Holiday Decor)
Katdish's Holiday Gift Guide (Part 2) (The over-indulgent parent/pet owner)
Katdish's Holiday Gift Guide (Part 3) (Akward Star Wars Geek/the one where I make fun of Jeff and Tamara)
Katdish's Holiday Gift Guide (Part 4) (Singing and Talking Elvis/Slanket)
Tuesdays with Skymall (Delusions of Grandeur Sports Fan/Germophobe)

I know you're time is valuable. If you read ONLY one of these, I would go with the Talking and Singing Elvis post. To quote the late Dudley Moore from the movie "Crazy People", "It won't just scare you, it will (bad word) you up for life!"

I think this post is fairly amusing, but probably not in the same league as the holiday guides. In my defense, I would just like to say that I wrote those posts during the holiday season, and nothing brings out my passive/aggressive sarcasm "A" game like spending quality time with extended family. Disclaimers aside, may I present Skymall: The Geeky Blogger Edition!:

The Revolutionary Portable Laptop Table:

"Our new revolutionary Portable Laptop Table is your key to comfortable computing at home or on the road. Perfect for business travelers, this gem is unique in its ability to properly position your laptop for reclined computing. Use in bed, on a sofa or a reclining chair. Fully adjustable to maximize comfort while in use, the laptop table helps to relieve neck and back pain, and allows for the correct placement of your arms for easy use of your computer. ($119.95)"

How many times do you think the word "revolutionary" is used in the Sky Mall Catalog? If I had a nickel for every time they used that word, I'd probably be able to afford some of that overpriced crap. Although, I must admit, having one of those would be pretty sweet. The only thing lacking is a Big Gulp cup holder on the side and a detachable bedpan. Then it would be slacktacular perfection! Alas, my heart belongs to Dave!

The Tech-Savvy Travel Mug:


On the road or at your desk, keep your beverage hot!
"Keep coffee or tea deliciously hot with this tech-savvy travel mug. In the car it plugs into a power port with the included 12 -volt adapter; at a computer it plugs into the USB port. Double-walled, stainless-steel construction, UL-approved heat control, spill-proof lid. A rubber cap seals the input jack for easy washing. Holds 16 oz. Available in Black, Red or Blue. ($19.99)"

Wouldn't you just be the envy of all the folks in your favorite overpriced coffee shop with your very own tech-savvy travel mug that plugs directly into your laptop? And as an added bonus, they are available in colors to match your favorite official Star Trek officer uniform! (Win-win.)

The Mobile Edge Wi-Fi Signal Locator:



"The Mobile Edge WiFi Signal Locator (SL) is the smallest and most convenient way to check for hot spots without going through the tedious process of having to first boot-up your notebook and then search for a signal. By attaching the WiFi SL to your key chain or carrying case you will always be immediately aware of the presence of local hot spots! ($29.99)"

This futuristic looking item ALSO looks really cool with your favorite Star Trek officer uniform. (Win-win-win.)

The Laptop Necklace:

NEW! This portable desk makes your laptop truly mobile.
"When you have work to do, having no place to sit is no longer a problem. Now you can use your laptop standing or even walking with this portable desk. This clever invention adjusts to allow any size laptop to work on the go for any size person, short or tall. Anti-skid surface. Fits inside most computer bags. Made from 100% recycled plastic. 1 lb. 6 oz. ($39.99)"

Here's one review from a VERY satisfied customer:

Pros: comfortable, flattering, conversation starter, never miss an important email
Cons: absolutely none

"Since I rarely find myself at home this Laptop Necklace has made my life so much easier. Now I can do all difficult the tasks, like email, paying bills, surfing the web, on the go. With the portable desk I can get work done from anywhere. It is possible to engage in activities such as golf, walking my dog, tanning, and even eating out in restaurants while using this fabulous device. I would highly recommend this to all executive, especially the homeless type."

Ummm....yeah. (But I'm sure it looks good on you, Nick...)
(NOTE: Coat hanger and tin foil festooned helmet not included.)

The following item has nothing to do with computers or electronics. I just thought it was one of those "segue scooter" type products - sort of cool as long as you don't have to actually see yourself use it:

The SkyRest Travel Pillow ($29.95)

Seriously, if you sit next to me on an airplane and pull this thing out of your carry-on luggage, I want you tell you this ahead of time because I don't think I'll be able to breath, let alone speak: "I'm sorry. I can't help myself sometimes. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing beside you. That thing is ridiculous. Oh, and you're drooling.)

Hope you liked this post. There's many more where that came from. The Skymall Catalog: the gift of blog fodder that keeps on giving!

Hannah Montana Devotional

Feel free to make fun of me for this post. No, really. If you were to write it, I might do the same. Besides, those of you who have been reading this blog for very long know that I'm not easily offended.

The thing is, I think it's important to write from your own life experience; to come from your heart. The very best reads (for me anyway) are those where a person can wrap a piece of themselves into the story. So that's what I'm attempting to do.

I'm a 43 year old (soon to be 44 - early August, I like flip flops, size 10, or a really nice 1-1/2" sash brush from Sherwin Williams, BTW) ADD afflicted wife, mother, small business owner, school volunteer, blogger and church planter. I am attempting to live my life in a way that honors God. I fail miserably on a pretty regular basis. I beat myself up about it, say a prayer, and try again the next day. One day at a time. I see God in the big and the small things. I don't think we have to sit on a beach or gaze down from a mountain to experience His majesty. (Even though I've always found His presence overwhelmingly strong when I have been able to do that.)

In some ways indulge my kids. When we're in the car, unless there's a song on that I really like, I let them pick what they want to listen to. I've been listening to quite a bit on Hannah Montana lately. Specifically, the soundtrack from her new movie. There's one in particular that I really relate to. It reminds me that, while it's good to have goals, life is more about the journey, not the destination. My life striving to become closer to Jesus is like that too. I'm never going to get where I need to be this side of eternity, but I want to make the most of the journey, and bring as many as I can along for the ride.



The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Somebody's you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

So, yeah - God speaks to me in the quiet times, when I'm worshipping him in a corporate setting, or when I'm singing "The Climb" at the top of my lungs in my car with my daughter begging me to stop from the back seat.

It's all about the climb. Keep the faith, baby!

The Peter Principle

The Transfiguration (Matthew 17: 1-5)
1After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. 2There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. 3Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.

4Peter said to Jesus, "Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah."

5While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!"

I've been thinking about the launch of C3 and the relaunching of Jason's Church, Breakthrough Church quite a bit lately. I think Jeff and Jason have similar visions for their respective churches. That is, they really do want to get out of the way and allow God to use them for His glory. I know Jeff well enough to know that he doesn't say that because that's what he supposed to say. He really believes it. And while I only know Jason through our blogs, I believe that he really believes that, too.
I hear much about doing big things for God; of pursuing excellence for Him. Without question, He is worthy of our very best. But often I wonder if we pursue lofty goals in His name because we think that's what He wants from us. I also wonder if we feel we somehow fail Him when our expectations or the perceived expectations of others fail to materialize.

I love Peter's reaction to the Transfiguration of Jesus in the above passage of scripture. Peter loved Jesus. He wanted to honor him; to do something big for him. He wasn't wrong for wanting to do this, he just didn't grasp what was happening. Peter thoughts were likely, "What a great honor for Jesus to be in the company of Moses and Elijah!" Peter didn't realize that it was Moses and Elijah that were honored to be in the presence of Jesus. When God says, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!", do you ever wonder if God is maybe rolling his eyes at Peter -- I mean, just a little bit?

My point is, I think the Church (big C) needs to prayerfully consider everything we do for His Kingdom. If God wants a church to have thousands of members and offer many ministries and reach a large number of people, He will provide the means to accomplish that. Conversely, if God brings a body of believers together that may only ever have a small congregation, but this church is able to accomplish things that are big in God's eyes but not big in the eyes of the world, can we be okay with that? Can we also put aside the notion that one is good and the other is bad? I don't know what God has in store for my little church plant or for any of yours, but I pray that we will have an open dialogue with Him, so that where He leads we will follow. I want God to be enough for you and for me and for all of us.

Did you believe that I loved you?

I grew up going to church. Please understand me when I tell you that doesn't mean I grew up a Christian, because that's not what I mean to say. I grew up going to church on Sunday with my mother and on occasion with my father because that's what "respectable" people did. I did not have a relationship with Jesus. Church was a place, not a body.

When I was in junior high school, my older sister started dating a guy whose family belonged to a church. My mom (who was now recently divorced from my dad) started taking all of us. I really loved that church. There were many Sundays when the pastor would invite people to come forward and be baptised that I felt compelled to do so. But since I grew up going to church, I was ashamed to admit that I hadn't already done so. I began to feel more and more like an outsider; a phony Christian. I eventually quit going to church altogether. My teen years and twenties were spent very far away from God.

It was not until after the birth of my first child that I was baptised and began my life as a Christian. Before that, I owned a bible that did little more than gather dust on the bookshelf. The church where I was baptised was my church home until I left to help plant C3. I still love that body of believers. I learned so much about God, Jesus and His Word there. But at some point, I began to wonder if I would ever measure up to what it meant to be a good Christian. Soon after we joined a bible study group, we did a study of James. I was completely baffled by it. To me, so much of it contradicted what I had read in the gospel of John. (Which is what everyone told me to read first.) I just didn't understand how both could be true. Then I borrowed a book called "The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning from our new worship pastor. I read that book cover to cover in 2 days. Until I read that book, as much as I tried to understand to concept of grace, I just couldn't understand how God could love someone as broken as me -- not someone who was once broken, but someone who was still broken; still woefully inadequate and unworthy. After reading it, I read the bible with a fresh perspective. It was one of those God's perfect timing moments for me.

I recently found a blog called on coffee by clicking on a link on Koffijah's blog. It is a delightfully random sort of blog -- right up my alley! There are several Youtube videos on this blog, including the one below. Please understand, I am posting this because it really struck a cord with me personally. This is not an attempt to tear down anyone else's relationship with God. I just wanted to share it with you:

Brennan Manning said:

The Lord Jesus is going to ask each of us one question and only one question: Do you believe that I loved you? That I desired you? That I waited for you day after day? That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?

The real believers there will answer, "Yes, Jesus. I believed in your love and I tried to shape my life as a response to it. But many of us who are so faithful in our ministry, in our practice, in our church going are going to have to reply, "Well frankly, no sir. I mean, I never really believed it. I mean, I heard alot of wonderful sermons and teachings about it. In fact I gave quite a few myself. But I always knew that that was just a way of speaking; a kindly lie, some Christian's pious pat on the back to cheer me on. And there's the difference between the real believers and the nominal Christians that are found in our churches across the land. No one can measure like a believer the depth and the intensity of God's love. But at the same time, no one can measure like a believer the effectiveness of our gloom, pessimism, low self-esteem, self-hatred and despair that block God's way to us. Do you see why it is so important to lay hold of this basic truth of our faith? Because you're only going to be as big as your own concept of God.

Do you remember the famous line of the French philosopher, Blaise Pascal? "God made man in his own image, and man returned the compliment"? We often make God in our own image, and He winds up to be as fussy, rude, narrow minded, legalistic, judgemental, unforgiving, unloving as we are.

In the past couple of three years I have preached the gospel to the financial community in Wallstreet, New York City, the airmen and women of the air force academy in Colorado Springs, a thousand positions in Nairobi. I've been in churches in Bangor, Maine, Miami, Chicago, St. Louis, Seattle, San Diego. And honest, the god of so many Christians I meet is a god who is too small for me. Because he is not the God of the Word, he is not the God revealed by it in Jesus Christ who this moment comes right to your seat and says, "I have a word for you. I know your whole life story. I know every skeleton in your closet. I know every moment of sin, shame, dishonesty and degraded love that has darkened your past. Right now I know your shallow faith, your feeble prayer life, your inconsistent discipleship. And my word is this: I dare you to trust that I love you just as you are, and not as you should be. Because you're never going to be as you should be."

Do you believe that He loves you?

NOTE: You many have noticed that I when I post a song video here, I will also provide the lyrics to the video. The reason I do this is because not everyone who reads my blog is able to view videos on their computers. It's ususally an easy matter of cutting and pasting the lyrics from another source - no big deal. As far as I could find, there is no transcript of this particular speech by Manning. I typed what he said as I heard it, so if I misheard anything, I apologize. I think I got it right, though, and I'm so glad I typed it out, because sometimes I'm a little thick, and the exercise helped me soak in every single word.

Google Analytics

Okay, y'all - this is so stinking funny (to me, anyway) that the only intro I'm going to give you is that I recently started using Google Analytics to track this blog. The following is a list of keyword searches people have used to find this blog. I added the Smartypants blog on Saturday. (Can't wait to see THAT list!) Anyway, here are the keyword searches that landed some unfortunate folks on my blog:

1) katdish
2) katdish freak
3) howdy cloud
4) look a chicken
5) "annie k" boobs
6) "i cried a tear" "was confused" "clear my mind"
7) +katdish
8) add"hey look a chicken"
9) beth moore obsession
10) biggest boobs annie k. biggest "annie k."
11) bunch of crap in my car console
12) cartoon i was just thinking
13) catalyst one day
14) chicken plate and fork
15) days of the harvest
16) do not look the chicken
17) dora sullivan rock band 2
18) droopy boob smiley
19) emoticon for butts
20) foghorn leghorn smart boy just a little on the dumb side
21) fork and spoon devotional
22) godology excerpt
23) helen's buttcrack
24) hey look a chicken
25) hey look at these
26) hey look!
27) house church do's and don'ts
28) how do i make a sideways smiley face?
29) how do you make a sideways smiley
30) how to get smileys which sideways
31) igoogle
32) katdish blog
33) nonconformity quote
34) parachute drop church planting
35) rock band contest "louisville"
36) sideways smiley face
37) sideways smiley facebook
38) slanket redemption codes
39) slutty rock look
40) songs with home in them
41) the cat's diary the dog's diary day of my imprisonment
42) the sideways smiley face
43) top ten reasons people don't tithe
44) what does the sideways smiley mean
45) where to buy jolly rancher jelly beans at grocery stores?
46) woman checken brain

Whew! (wiping my tear filled eyes) That's at LEAST a week's worth of material right there!

Who says you actually have to have something to blog about to write a post?

And to those of you who found my blog via keyword search:

Sorry/You're welcome!

P. S. - Annie, Is there something you want to tell the rest of the class?
P. P. S. - What is this obsession with the sideways smiley face?!?

The wolf will live with the lamb

I've been updating my painting blog lately. Mostly because people keep asking me if I have a website, and if I gave them this one, I'm guessing my phone would pretty much quit ringing. Anyway, I have already scheduled several posts and am working on some more. One of my favorite nurseries is one I did for Grace Presbyterian Church. I painted three rooms, each with a different bible theme. I knew I wanted the infant nursery to have baby animals, so I decided to use Isaiah 11:6. I will post all the pictures next Sunday over on Stuff I Painted.

I must confess, prophetic scripture passages aren't exactly my strength, and when I read this passage, I knew it would work for what I wanted to do in the nursery space, but I never really understood what the verse meant. It's actually pretty cool. In the interest of context, here's Isaiah 11: 1-9:

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit. The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him—the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of power, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD - and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.

He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.

He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth; with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked. Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash around his waist.

The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.

The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox.

The infant will play near the hole of the cobra, and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD as the waters cover the sea.

I love this scripture because rather than describing Jesus as coming from the Kingdom of David, it uses the more humble description of "the stump of Jesse". It also tells me that there will come a time when wickedness and evil will be destroyed; that Love really does win.

Feel free to expound on the commentary of this portion of scripture in the comments section. I'd love to read your thoughts on it. Happy Sunday, y'all!

Everyday People

So, it seems that the Esteemed Reverend Hogan is hassling me for reposting some of my older posts. So instead of doing another "best of HLAC"(?), I have decided to link Jeff's newest post, Everyday. Which surprisingly, has absolutely nothing to do with Sly and the Family Stone. But you gotta admit, Jeff's picture on the sidebar of my blog bears a striking resemblance to Mr. Family Stone.

If you happen to be new to HLAC, please feel free to express to Jeff how much you are enjoying reading some of my older posts. He will probably dig that.

P.S. - That's some pretty stellar camera work in that video, huh?

P. P. S. - "And so on, and so on, and Scooby Doobie Doobie! Ahhhh! Sha Sha!" They just don't write 'em like that anymore do they?

The Quotable Katdish

How much attention do you pay to the sidebar(s) when you read someone's blog? I will typically check them out the first couple of times I read someone's blog, then pretty much ignore them. Unless, of course they have a jukebox. Then I immediately find the blasted thing and turn it off. Then I may have to get up and clean the dog piddle off my leg, depending upon what song is playing and how loud I have my speakers up on my computer.

If you are the type to look at the sidebar, you may have noticed a quote by me and a picture of some of my home improvement handiwork. Well, the following post is what inspired that quote. I have included some of the comments from that post, including the comment that inspired that quote:

The New Math:
Well, it's Saturday and I am hard at work in my soon-to-be uber fantastical studio/escape from the world. I am taking a brief respite from the task at hand to give you a brief peek into the glamorous life of me. (Sure, don't mention it.)

Here's a new mathematical equation to ponder:

Impulsive, impatient Katdish

- methodical, practical husband

+high powered reciprocal saw

=Uh, oh...Sorry. My bad

Okee, dokey! Well, I gotta got figure out how I'm going to fix this before my DH gets home. Oh, wait...he reads my blog...DANG! So, how's your day going?

Editor's Note: I would like to point out that it was a certain Mike Berlinski that gave us the aforementioned saw. So, technically, this is all his fault. No? Ehhh, it was worth a shot.

COMMENTS:

Anonymous said...
I guess I should look at the bright side and be greatful that I learned of your handy work via your blog and not a call from the hospital.Curious to learn what your a sculpting. - YLDH

katdish said...

Dearest YLDH, I am shocked and appauled! As you might have expected, I have spent the ENTIRE DAY making homemade cookies from scratch, reading bible stories to the children, and singing non-secular Christmas carols with them as we sipped hot cocoa by the fire. Imagine my dismay when I come to check my computer (for the VERY FIRST TIME today), only to discover that someone has obtained pictures of our home and photo shopped them to make it appear that someone has carelessly taken a reciprocal saw to the windowsills! I suppose this is the darker, seedier side of semi-fame. (I suspect the Berlinskis.)

texasshawn said...

Umm...what did you set out to do? At least your hubby has a sense of humor.

katdish said...

Shawn -The creative spirit cannot be enslaved by the oppressive chains of reason and logical thinking. It's more about the journey than the destination. (Actually, I got a sweet deal on a cute little bench that I wanted to use as a window seat, so I was trying to cut the ledge off the windowsills. And yes, DH is taking this quite well. But then, we've been married for 12 years and this is not my first home improvement project run amok. I honestly don't think anything would shock him anymore.)

I won't post all the comments here, but you should check them out on the original post if you have time. They're all pretty funny. I even chased two of my favorite lurkers out from hiding to make a comment - M. Berlinski and of course, MLDH. (His first and last comment, by the way.)

I am also reposting this because Mother's Day is coming up soon, and this is my way of reminding all of you guys how really great it is not being married to me. Now go get your wives something really special, whether she's a mom or not!

I'd really like to have a compound miter saw. But I think we all know that's never going to happen. Oh well. A girl can dream...

Days of Elijah

These are the days of Elijah,
Declaring the word of the Lord:
And these are the days of Your servant Moses,
Righteousness being restored.
And though these are days of great trial,
Of famine and darkness and sword,
Still, we are the voice in the desert crying
'Prepare ye the way of the Lord!'

Behold He comes riding on the clouds,
Shining like the sun at the trumpet call;
Lift your voice, it's the year of jubilee,
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes.

These are the days of Ezekiel,
The dry bones becoming as flesh;
And these are the days of Your servant David,
Rebuilding a temple of praise.
These are the days of the harvest,
The fields are as white in Your world,
And we are the labourers in Your vineyard,
Declaring the word of the Lord!

There's no God like Jehovah.
There's no God like Jehovah!

Copyright © 1997 Daybreak Music Ltd.

Late yesterday afternoon, I received a call from my friend's daughter. You see, my friend is 71 years old and is dying of cancer. She was in the hospital, but is now in hospice care at home. Anyway, she was asking for me all day, and they finally got a hold of me. I sat with her, we prayed, talked and laughed. There is always laughter when I'm with my friend. I cannot express how special this lady is to me and my family. She is kind, compassionate, outrageous and funny. When I get to be her age (God willing), I want to be just like her. The video and the song lyrics posted above are "Days of Elijah", the song she wants played at her funeral. No slow, sad songs for her! She wants people to celebrate God's glory.

I'm going to go hang out with my friend some more today. I know she's destined for a much better place. She told me she's ready to go. But I just want to spend as much time with her as I can. I'm selfish like that...

Say it ain't so Kro! Say it ain't so!

In my last compelling and riveting shopping post, I DO NOT heart grocery shopping, I introduced you all to the pornographic cheese buttler:


With a heavy heart, this blogger is sad to share with you the news that our beloved friend PCB has been forcibly removed from the local Kroger. What makes this news even more difficult for me to accept is this: I can't help but feel that I may have had a role in his removal.


I'm sure it will come as no surprise to any of you that this blog is ready by literally TENS of people every single day, and the PCB buzz that post must have created on the Internet forced the hands of Kroger executives. For this, I am deeply sorry. Also, I may need to start shopping exclusively at HEB, because I get the stink eye from the Kroger store manager every time I pull out my blackberry.

I attempted to interview several store employees as to the whereabouts of PCB. Alert meat department employee "Skeeter" (not his real name) made the following comment: "Yeah...(guffaw)...They made us take him down." When asked the whereabouts of PCB, store management would only give me vague references to wine vendors and store rotations. I smell a cover-up!


Jeeves, a long time friend and confidant of PCB was still too visibly shaken to give an interview, choosing instead to drown his sorrows in a delightfully fruity yet cheap Merlot:




There are unconfirmed reports that Jeeves was later reprimanded for making lewd and suggestive remarks to the night stocker in the feminine hygiene aisle. It's been a rough couple of weeks for him...


PCB's replacement, Woodrow Brimley (rumored to be the younger brother of Wilford Brimley of "Cocoon" and "Di-a-bee-tus!" fame) had only this to say: "Cry me a river lady! I'm 3 feet tall, bald, wearing white panty hose, and I've got a bolt stuck through my hand! Now leave me alone, I'm trying to pimp some Yellowtail (that's what she said)."




On a happier note, I was able to purchase a box of the new shiny m&m candies. My opinion? Meh...They taste much like the original peanut m&m's. The only difference being that there are almonds instead of peanuts and I got the strange sensation that a couple of Polly Pocket shoes were dropped into the vat during the candy coating phase. Weird. Also, we're out of crackers again.


Goodnight Pornographic Cheese Buttler, where ever you are!

Oh, prosperity gospel rant, it's been too long!

Recent events in my immediate area concerning a certain church mailer I received have made me want to go into full ranting mode. But since I don't want my big, fat mouth to reflect poorly on my church family, I have decided to dig up an old rant instead. (Read: My husband told me not to.) A few months ago, I posted the following prosperity gospel rant. Many of you have already read it. For those of you who have, please go check out Nick the Geek's post here: Who is a fool
For those of you who have yet to experience me at my self-righteous best, please enjoy the following rant and THEN go read Nick's post. He's actually a pastor, and a pretty smart (albeit geeky) one at that.

Without further adieu, I give you The Prayer Cross:



There are so many things in this commercial that anger me that I will have to dissect and analyze it a bit at a time:

"Watch as people gaze in amazement as the experience the magic of the prayer cross for the first time." Errr, magic? Didn't I read somewhere in the bible that magic is a bad thing?

"Creating not only a magnificent piece of jewelry, but a one of a kind spiritual accessory." You mean like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? That kind of spiritual accessory? Oh, wait, that's the Fruits of the Spirit. Everyone knows that it's really tacky when you wear fruit as an accessory. Nothing at all like this necklace.
"When held up to the light, the entire Lord's Prayer becomes instantly and almost miraculously visible." Well, at least they said "almost miraculously". Don't want to be stretching the truth or anything.

"Each prayer cross comes with a certificate of authenticity." Which is reassuring. Because you'd probably go straight to H-E double hockey sticks if you get one of those fake prayer crosses.

"The prayer cross is the perfect way to say Happy Easter or Merry Christmas." Hmmm...I kind of think the best way to say Merry Christmas is to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world (the One who left His perfect home in paradise where He sat at the right hand of the Father to die an excruciating death on the cross for the atonement of our sins) and to give comfort, encouragement and hope to the marginalized in society. You know, like Jesus did. And while the prayer cross is undoubtedly "blingtastic", If I chose to wear a cross, it would be something simple. Not necessarily made of wood and stained with blood, sweat and tears, but a more humble representation of the ultimate price that was paid at Calvary.

"...and is sure to bring joy and comfort to all who wear it." I don't know about you, but wearing a shiny cross made out of genuine Austrian crystals and sterling silver does not bring me joy or comfort. The very idea that a person might believe they can purchase a trinket and it will somehow fill that giant, God-shaped hole their heart is both infuriating and heartbreaking. (Not to mention blasphemous.)

This is just one more thing that feeds into the heretical teachings of the prosperity gospel, leading people to believe that God is for the express purpose of blessing them (instead of the other way around); that your financial status is directly linked to your own personal holiness; that if you are poor or sick or you have lost a loved one and your heart is breaking, it is because you are of little faith. And speaking of well known biblical passages, how do these health and wealth preachers explain the beatitudes? Would someone PLEASE explain to me how you get around that particular passage of scripture?

I know that there are a few pastors who read my blog. (Don't worry, I won't turn you in the secret society of holiness.) I am sincerely asking why, with the notable exception of John Piper, more highly visible Christian leaders aren't speaking out against this blasphemy? I am totally off base with this? Please give me your honest opinion, anonymously or otherwise. Because as far as I'm concerned, the Christian community as a whole should be involved in the spiritual equivalent of roaming the streets in an angry mob with torches and pitchforks to expose these people for who they really are. (In Christian love, of course. Always in love.)

When I picture the Perfect Gift, during communion or simply during quiet time, my concept of beauty looks more like this:

(End of rant. I'm going to go cry now...)

Update: Joanna reminded me that there are other high profile pastors speaking out against this stuff. So, thanks for that. Piper just seems more appropriately pissed off about it.

Also, if you happen to have purchased one of these lovely crosses, no offense. I'm sure it looks good on you...(especially if you're my friend's mother-in-law).

Today was a very good day

I know many have been praying for our launch, so I wanted to begin by expressing how very grateful we are for your prayers. When we got into our "prayer huddle" this morning, we prayed specifically for Jason's church and I silently prayed for so many of my amazing friends that I have met through this medium.

Launching on Easter Sunday was an almost overwhelmingly emotional experience for me. It was probably good timing. It really drove home why we're doing what we're doing in the first place.

Here's an interesting statistic that Jeff sited several weeks ago: Eighty-two percent of people that get a personal invitation to visit a church from a friend, neighbor or co-worker will respond positively to that invitation. I mentioned in an earlier post that C3 has decided not to pursue advertising right now. We're not against advertising, we just feel that the money put towards getting our name out would be better spent in outreach and missions. The best, most effective advertising (for us, anyway) is someone who is genuinely excited about how God is moving in the life of our church; someone who cares enough about a friend, neighbor or co-worker to want to share that experience with them.

Did our launch day exceed our expectations? That's an impossible question to answer because we had absolutely no idea what to expect. But I will share a personal example of inviting a friend to church.

Before Ron and I were married, he introduced me to a couple that were his closest friends, who quickly became my closest friends as well. We did everything with them. It was rare that a week passed without getting together with them for dinner or just to hang out. This relationship continued after we were married. After the birth of our first child, we found a church home and became very involved in several ministries there. It was a wonderful experience that I don't regret, but because there were so many meetings and events centered around the church, we never seemed to have a free weekend to spend with our dear friends. We were so involved in ministry that we neglected to minister to our friends.

Our friends were at our first Sunday today, along with their daughter and one of her friends. We're getting together with them in a couple of weeks. I don't know if they will become members of our church, but I do know how much it meant to Ron and me that they were there on such a special day, and I want to honor their friendship by making time to share our lives with them.

Last Sunday, one of our core members invited a little girl from her neighborhood to church. She was so excited about being in church. She was asking, "Do you guys meet every week? Do you meet in the summertime?" If that wasn't blessing enough, this week she showed up with her mom and seven other kids ranging in age from 4 to 14. We had an Easter egg hunt right after church today. It was pouring down raining outside, so we held it in the school cafeteria. (Having a core group member that happens to be the principal of the school you're meeting in definitely has it advantages!) Anyway, I was looking at the group picture of all the kids with their bags full of eggs, and it occurred to me that a) 5 of our kids were missing (divorced parents - not their weekend) and b) of the 14 kids in that picture, only 5 of them belonged to members of the church. That was such a cool "ah-ha" moment for me.

We had several visitors today. I don't know if they will be back. What I do know is that every single visitor we had was there because someone extended a personal invitation. We're certainly not going to make any of the megachurches in the area nervous anytime soon, but that's okay with us. It was a very good day.

I was thinking about my blogger pal Koffijah's post, The Jesus Program this morning. Check it out. It's really good. And if you're reading this Koffijah, you're still off my Christmas card list.

Thanks again for all your prayers, I felt so connected to the Church (big "C") this morning.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a Deadliest Catch marathon calling my name. Incidentally, if you happen to have my phone number, don't even think about calling me on Tuesday night at 8:00 p.m. central time. It's the season premiere, and Ron and I are gonna be all up in that!

He'll be by your side

By your Side

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in

And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go



"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

So this is actually sort of embarrasing...

I am quiet comfortable being sarcastic and ridiculous, and I'm all for a little self-righteous ranting now and then. I've been doing the aforementioned things for as long as I can remember. I'm a painter, and while I'm no Rembrandt by any stretch of the imagination, I don't mind posting pictures of projects I've worked on because I'm satisfied that every project, big or small, was done while upholding a fairly high standard I've set for myself. Most artists, whatever their medium, put a part of themselves into their work, and the work is a reward in itself. Blogging is sort of the same for me. I appreciate the fact that I have a few faithful readers and have met some absolutely fantastic people through this medium. I can certainly understand if someone stops by once and never returns. There are some incredibly good blogs out there, and if you don't enjoy reading something, why waste your time? Nothing personal.

Now, here's the embarrassing part. Ever since I could talk, I have loved to sing. I never pursued singing (outside my car or in the shower) because I never thought I was that good. Then about 10 years ago, my dh and I were having dinner with some new friends, Ed and Kris from church. They were both on the praise team, and Ed was leading worship on a volunteer basis. I don't remember how we got on the subject, but I mentioned to them that I loved to sing, but had never sang in public. (I didn't mention the time "back in the day" when I sang Stairway to Heaven at my friend's wedding reception. I've actually tried to block that memory--it wasn't pretty, not even a little bit.) Out of the blue, Ed says, "Come sing on the praise team!" He could have said, "You just won 10 million dollars" and I wouldn't have been more excited, or more terrified. It was like God was saying to me, "Here's your dream come true. Don't screw it up."

Long story short, I'm an okay singer. I'm not great. I am surrounded by other vocalists on a regular basis that just knock my socks off, and I simply appreciate the fact they let me sing with them. Earlier today, I was feeling convicted about my personal worship time. An old hymn came to mind that is one of my favorites - "I Surrender All". I lit some candles, got down on my knees and worshipped God right here in my living room. I recorded it on my flip video, but I'll get to the reason behind that in a sec. I played it back. It is long, monotonous, I sound mostly lispy and warbley, and at some points like I'm chewing on cud. I was really tempted to re-record it. But I decided against it because one of the things I need to surrender is my pride, and playing back this video was certainly humbling. Besides, no matter how it sounds on the recording, in my heart it was beautiful, and it brought me into His Presence. I pray it was an acceptable albeit unworthy offering to Jesus.

So, why record it? I hope this doesn't sound incredibly sappy, but I was thinking how honored and humbled I would be if I could worship with you. If not in person, than in some small way right here on this blog. Beth, Sherri, Jason - feel free to throw in some kickin' harmonies and/or drown out my voice with your own. I have posted the lyrics below the video. Feel free to sing the correct words in the last verse. Not sure what happened there -- I close my eye alot when I sing.




All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

Refrain:
I surrender all,
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.


All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

I pray this Good Friday through Resurrection Sunday is a very special time of reflection and reverence; that you can spend time with family and friends; and that you would feel God's love and power in a big way.

Jason, I'm praying for your church big time. Whether you have 10 or 10,000, I know that you will give an offering that is pleasing to Him.

Leaving Holes

I know I promised an incessant ranting post, or another "Official versus Unofficial" post, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit undisciplined, and you're not the boss of me. This blog is a bit like life, aka a giant box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get. On one visit you might bite into a delicious bit of wisdom, on another you bite into the one filled with toothpaste. You can decide for yourself which one this is.

(The previous paragraph was brought to you in part by Forrest Gump and Jim Gaffigan.)

Last night was rehearsal for our praise band. I like to blog about stuff we talk about at rehearsal sometimes. Mostly because I like it when Jeff says stuff like, "Wow. You really do pay attention when I'm talking. Who knew?"

We are a new band made up of people who have all played together before. That's an important distinction. I think we had a very good, solid sound when we were all apart of another band with a fairly decent worship CD to prove it. But in order to move forward, we have to remind ourselves that how we used to do it, no matter how great it might have been, can sometimes hold us back from something new God wants us to discover. Incidentally, that applies to a whole host of experiences in and out of ministry. I feel a tangent coming on, so I'll just move forward with what this post is supposed to be about...

If you've ever been part of a band, specifically a bar band, you know that the goal of playing in the band is typically to get yourself into a better band. You will look for holes within a song to fill up with your own personal awesomeness. This could be anything from a screaming lead guitar solo, an extended drum solo, or an incredibly annoying, warbley Mariah Carey descant. You look out for numero uno.

When you play for the glory and honor of God, the approach is the exact opposite. You begin to leave holes and give your band mates opportunities to fill them, keeping in mind that the biggest hole left should be the one that only God can fill. Otherwise, you're just a glorified bar band. I hope this is making as much sense here as it does in my head. Maybe if I give you an example it will make more sense:




May we always allow a God-sized hole in our lives for Him to dwell. A very blessed Resurrection Sunday to you all.

Look ya'll, I'm pseudo famous!

Peter P. at Rediscovering the Church interviewed me on his blog! I'm pretty sure he's talking to Francis Chan next week, or was it Charlie Chan? I forget...

Anyhoo, check it out here: Interview with Katdish
Will the accolades never end? (She types as the readers of Hey look a chicken collectively roll their eyes and slowly shake their heads.)

By the way Peter - you could have told me that you were posting this interview today! I might have tidied up around here a bit. Okay, probably not...never mind.

Official versus Unofficial: Mascots

Let it never be said that I cannot go more than 24 hours without being ridiculous and sarcastic. My last few posts have been of the reflective variety. Granted, I had to pilfer a blog post here and there from friends, but still...

And yes, I've used the comments section of other blogs to be silly, but what can I say? I am what I am. I'll have you all know that I once went almost 3 days without a sarcastic remark. Granted, I was in labor, and I guess I blew it there towards the end when I may have threatened to stab my doctor with a scalpel if she didn't wheel me into the OR and perform a C-section. But for me, that's fairly impressive.

I'm still feeling a bit reflective, but I want to lighten things up a bit. In keeping with my theme of the week, I wanted to talk a little about official versus unofficial monikers for a church.

Official Mascot of Convergence Christian Church: Zeke

Zeke, in my opinion, is stand alone cool. But he's not just a mascot. He represents the Church - one body with many parts. For a detailed look at what this cute little dude represents, you can check out my post, The Building of Christ? I don't mean to brag, but we have some incredibly gifted, talented and creative peeps at C3. One in particular who has used her award winning graphic design and marketing skills to make a somewhat sad little stick figure (no offense, Jeff) on a piece of paper come to life. Now, when I say "come to life", I mean that in a literal sense. This little dude will be animated! It's going to be so flippin' sweet! I won't mention her by name, but feel free to post a comment, D.

Zeke has been in some fairly impressive company. He has traveled to Nigeria to visit my friend Mare. He has also had his picture taken with Jon Acuff, Pete Wilson, Anne Jackson, Carlos Whittaker, Brad Lomenick (that bald guy from Catalyst), and Steph at the Red Clay Diaries - just to name a few. Look for him soon on a Facebook Page near you.

Unofficial Mascot of Convergence Christian Church: Pickboy
Pickboy was born during band rehearsal at our old church when a broken pic, a guitar string and a couple of wads of paper converged into our little blue faced friend. He's not as cute as Zeke, and frankly he's a bit jealous of all the attention being paid to that (his words, not mine) "PUNK STICK!"

But Pickboy is a special little guy because he represents the earliest beginnings of C3 at a time when we didn't even know there would be a C3. A time when the earliest founding members sensed a connection with one another that went deeper than friendship; a glimpse of true fellowship. Don't worry, Pickboy! We still love you!

NOTE: There is no truth to the rumor that the shadows you see in the foreground of the picture are those of Marge and Homer Simpson. I'm pretty sure that's Jeff's guitar case and head (from left to right, respectively.)

Well, I've rambled on long enough for today. My next post will either be about Official versus Unofficial Slogans! or I will rant incessantly about something in my trademark, completely objective manner. I've been watching the news on and off all week, so I'm leaning heavily towards the latter. Plus, I really liked my last incessant ranting post, especially the comments section. It was like I was giving everyone the gift of going second. And I'm generous like that.

Could I HAVE any more hyperlinks in one blog post?